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Original poster

Online dating/chat sites - full of weirdos and nutters?

32 replies

rickman · 23/10/2006 16:10

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NothingButAttitudeOnMN · 23/10/2006 16:14

So you have had 2 people from the whole wide world that didn't turn out to be what you wanted. Shake yourself off and keep on looking, its no use just giving up and feeling sorry for yourself no one will ever be attracted to you.

I met my husband on a dating site and neither of us is a weirdo or nutter.

Original poster
rickman · 23/10/2006 16:17

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FioFio · 23/10/2006 16:20

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expatinscotland · 23/10/2006 16:22

I had only one experience w/online dating/chat sites.

And believe me, there's a very good reason for that.

NO WAY no how. EVER again.

cath28 · 23/10/2006 16:23

personally i think there are a lot of strange people in chat rooms. by definition why are they there? myself included, i used to go on them a lot, but gave it up as it's quite addictive and i don't think very healthy. you need to be quite discerning as to whom you give ANY information to specially your mobile number! i don't know about dating sites never been on them. i met my ex in a chatroom and he's just abandoned me after announcing he can't 'handle' the reality of having a baby; illustrates my point perfectly i think! hope you're alright x

FioFio · 23/10/2006 16:23

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Original poster
rickman · 23/10/2006 16:24

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cath28 · 23/10/2006 16:25

and most people lie to some extent, at least in the chatrooms i used to go to! so don't expect this guy to have been telling you the truth.

KathyDCLXVI · 23/10/2006 16:25

Rickman, I think it just takes time to develop a nutter-detection antenna online, just like it does in real life (slightly different technique IYKWIM).
Also met my dh on an online dating site so I'd agree that there are lots of ordinary people out there too!

expatinscotland · 23/10/2006 16:25

Let's just say I'm lucky to be where I am today after coming here, hooking up w/someone I'd chatted with for a couple of YEARS and he turned out be an abusive freak.

fairyfly · 23/10/2006 16:25

It's not pathetic, it starts you believing it's your turn for some hapiness and some luck and when it doesn't work out you feel back to square one and unlovable.

It's normal to feel let down.

Don't give up though, someone is out there for you, just maybe get your self esteem back up and let them find you.

Or if you want to keep going on the internet just remember their are many nobs out there you have t go through before you find the real thing.

expatinscotland · 23/10/2006 16:25

Yes, he was a liar, too.

A liar extraordinnaire.

fairyfly · 23/10/2006 16:26

I think nobs was the wrong word.

cath28 · 23/10/2006 16:27

lol expat it doesn't surprise me one bit

Original poster
rickman · 23/10/2006 16:31

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expatinscotland · 23/10/2006 16:32

I have lots of company in my experience, rickman, unfortunately.

Original poster
rickman · 23/10/2006 16:40

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Judy1234 · 23/10/2006 19:37

DOn't give you mobile number away. I never do. I don't chat either, just email. Assume most people are lying. Be careful. SIft. Have very strict criteria. I prefer Oxbridge but occasionally lower my sights etc. Only email someone who spells as well as you do etc etc. Speak to someone reasonably soon so you don't waste too much time before you know they have a voice you couldn't tolerate for 20 seconds.

Original poster
rickman · 23/10/2006 21:08

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MistressMiggins · 23/10/2006 21:14

hi rickamn

have to say I have met someone through dating site quite by accident....he seems genuine, I have even met his daughter....have only chatted to him though.....

i think its hard however you meet to start dating again - I feel like a teenager again

Original poster
rickman · 23/10/2006 21:27

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MistressMiggins · 23/10/2006 21:30

been chattin to him since June & have met him loads of times...was unsure to begin with but met in open space & seemed to click

there do seem to be lot of weirdos on the net - I wasnt actively looking - it was an accident rather than money that we got chatting

Original poster
rickman · 23/10/2006 21:42

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Original poster
rickman · 25/10/2006 23:46

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WaitingForGodKnows · 26/10/2006 08:00

Sorry you're feeling bad about this chap, rickman. It sounds lilke a case of right bloke wrong time, maybe?

FWIW, I don't think online dating is all bad - although I would avoid 'chatrooms' like the plague. You can't avoid the weirdos completely (as in real life, after all) but you can sift quite thoroughly on a 'reputable' site, ime!

My brother met his lovely girlfriend through Guardian Soulmates and I've used datingdirect - as have several of my completely normal and delightful friends, male and female. None of us have ever had bad experiences, although some disappointment is inevitable!

I'm a bit like Xenia - I have strict criteria, don't give my mobile number out etc. Of course it doesn't mean I'll never get caught out but if a man is genuine he will understand all of this. Tbh I don't really see how it's that different from meeting men in any other environment - you just have to be a bit careful.