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Original poster

Christmas arrangements for dc & their dads...what do you do??

59 replies

Fluffybubble · 21/10/2006 17:34

My ex-h and I are about to launch into negotiations regarding our ds and how to manage christmas this year (this is our 2nd year apart, and the first christmas did not go well for any of us).

We have quite different views on how to proceed...how do you "split" your dc between you?? (Btw, ex-h will be staying about ten minutes away & our ds is nearly 3 - ex wants one of us to have ds from lunchtime on christmas eve to lunchtime on christmas day, and the other to have ds from lunchtime on christmas day to lunchtime on boxing day).

What works for you??!

Thanks.

OP posts:
happyatlast · 21/12/2006 09:13

I meant thats life at the end of that, not last life!!! Sorry, rushing cos got to bath the kids!!

7swansaswimmingup · 21/12/2006 09:29

if its your exes contact day then he should have them,end of story, very selfish of him not too and he'd probably moan if the tables were turned. arrange to go out and then just tell him. you deserve to go out as much as him,you sound like a great mum who needs to let her hair down

SnafuOutOfHiding · 21/12/2006 09:30

This is how our Christmas is working out:

Christmas Day: ds's dad comes over to us for lunch and pressie-opening

Boxing Day: After a day at home, ds will go over to his dad's in the evening and stay the night

27th Dec: Ds will go to his dad's girlfriend's place to get spoiled rotten for the 3rd day in a row, this time by her parents

I'm pretty happy with this year's plans and am hoping they may set a precedent for years to come. I think it's important that ds sees his dad on Christmas Day - luckily he lives close by atm. Equally, I cannot bear the thought of being without ds on Christams Day - it would break my heart. Hopefully this way everyone is happy...hopefully!

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 21/12/2006 21:30

Xh visits on Xmas day am(usually nearer to lunchtime) then they spend the day at his parents(he lives with them) on Boxing day.he has never expressed an interest in Xmas evebut they will be with him for most of the day this year as its a Sunday(coming home early o go to Church though)

nutcracker · 21/12/2006 21:32

Xp is visiting the kids at about 10:30 on xmas day, staying about an hour and then leaving us too it

persephonesnape · 21/12/2006 22:01

my children generally go to their dads mid afternoon on xmas day, then stay as long as they like or go to his parents for a few days. the first couple of year were very rough as i had no one else to share xmas with and would sit in on my own with a bottle of vodka crying heartily. now i've established new friends and new bf, so we all sit in together watching crap tv while we communally drink the vodka.

hell would freeze over before my children wake up anywhere else on xmas morning. as a previous postyer said, I do all the hard work, day in day out and the children wake up in their home on xmas morning.

as an aside - i hate that children get two sets of presents etc at xmas. they shouldn't profit from a family break up. non residents should contribute to one joint present, so the absent parent doesn't lavish huge inappropriate gifts on them.

Meteora · 22/12/2006 01:09

Hi everyone - I have enjoyed lurking for a while so here goes.

My XP left just before Christmas when DS2 was 11 months old -DS2 is now nearly 10. I agree with many posts that as I do all the hard work with v little support there is no way he is having them on Xmas morning. But for the last 9 yrs I have woken up with them Xmas Day, XP has picked them up about 10am to spend 2 hrs with XP his mum and whoever he was seeing at the time! They then come back to me and my family for the rest of the day. On boxing day XP takes them to his aunts with their nan and the rest of their family. Has worked well as quite frankly he is just not that interested in our DS's, and the kids know exactly what to expect.

This year however he has said he will not be around Xmas Morning and the poor boys were gutted.

Never mind, only 8yrs till DS2 is 18, and I never have to see XP or be nice about him again. Can't wait!

airy · 22/12/2006 03:48

My Exp is in Dublin so makes it a bit hard for us to share Christmas. Last year was an absolute nightmare for both of us we wern't getting on at all and everything got messy. So this year I've decided to go over there for Christmas so dd can spend it with her dad and nana and grandad, who she never gets to see at Christmas.
I'm not really looking forward to it! lol but dd will love it.
We hve said next year he will come to us for Christmas if it's practical, of course it only works because neither of us have partners atm otherwise it would be too awkward!

happyatlast · 22/12/2006 08:33

My sons dad said something that really annoyed me the other day, we were sorting out christmas arrangements and my kids are staying with me christmas morning and then going to their dads house christmas evening and my sons dad said " he's got the best of both worlds, presents at yours and then presents at mine" so I replied " oh yeh, its fantastic, all parents should split up so the kids get two christmas's, lets spread the news!" MUPPET!

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