beyond tired, beyond messy, beyond me

[cauliflowerfairy]

I can't cope. I can't even move in my flat. There is not one square inch clean. In tired, no support, two kids. Need a break so desperately but it can't happen. My life is over the house is so best in scared I'd be jailed if anyone saw don't know where to start

I have been on a course whre they recommended setting small tasks that you are confident of finishing.

I always said I would do five or ten minutes as then I would be able to start. carrying on once I had stared then was easier.

also the reward for completeing the task, whichmay be something simple like a hot chocolate and favourite tv programme.

my tasks for today are:

wash up.

clear up part of the living room. (started )

wrap the children's presents.. (we are horribly behind on presents as things went pear shaped a couple of christmases and things did not get wrapped and the children are about to grow out of them rapidly. they got this years but need the last two years unwrapped things too)

clear part of my bedroom floor. (picked up some of the washing the children scatterd last night)

off to wash up while the now show is on.

washing up done.
more living room tidying done.

ds has hidden dd's loom band loom thingy and blankets cushions have been scattered, and I have found one of my magazines in bits and ds has ripped up and scattered the inner tube of a loo roll. I may have spat the dummy.

Its not just me then.....I have two little ones and one on the way. I find it really difficult to keep on top at the min and I never get a break from the kids...even when dad sees them he sees them at mine. I basically hide the mess before he turns up because he makes me feel so shit. My mum is ok tohave a rant at but if I was to tell her how bad my house is she would just go mad at me. My dad is basically a bigger arse than my ex and my friends have families of thier own to deal with. I dont know what to do anymore im just so down. Im crying right now cs its so bad. I just need time to do it.....and motivation. ....but im so depressed. ....im a few mnths off becoming a 23yo lp to three kids, I dont know where to turn. Im so embarrassed that I have let this happen as my house used to be spotless.....

Fatty I am 26 and lp to 3dc

Ex sees them here

Not many friends around

Constant battle with housework.

But I am managing
I think you can too

Thank you. Its just getting on top in the first place! Once ive done that im pretty sure I could maintain it but it's so bloody hard when my dd wont let me put her down for even 5 mins.

Having quite a good day here. Managed to.tidy kitchen and half of the living room and change the sheets. Will try and do a bit more tomorrow. Ds in a good place today although not in bed yet so won't tempt fate! The trouble is when he tries not to hit he tends to run through the house like a tornado instead, thinking in particular of the time he pulled all the books out of the bookcase and emptied the ketchup bottle over the rug.

How old are dc fatty?

Wait! The reason you're not tackling this is that you feel you have to get it done in one go. Like when your sister had the kids and you stayed up till 1am cleaning/tidying.

THAT IS NOT THE WAY TO TACKLE IT! Who could do that?! Instead, you're going to do just 15 minutes a day. Just 15 minutes. Anyone can do anything for 15 minutes.

Forget the all-or-nothing, Perfectionist mindset and just do 15 minutes a day. It's SO much easier.

At the moment, the reason you're "frozen" and stressed is that you believe it has to get done in one day. It doesn't.

Read the FlyLady threads and/or the book "Sink Reflections by Martha Cilly".

Afresh.. my ds is 6 and my dd has just turned 1...found out I was expecting when dd was 9 months

I have similar age gaps but the other way round,

Dc1 is 6
Dc2 is 5
Dc3 is 1

Does your 6 year old do bits to help out? Put away some washing tidy own room lay and clear the Table?
I find giving older dc little jobs can help a lot

He has his jobs to do and I try to get youngest to put toys away by turning it into a game but i just dont seem to be getting anywhere!. I have made a list of what needs doing and hopefully i will be able to cross things off bit by bit and get back on top. But my ds is really good. He helps out whenever he can. ..he even went and filled his sister a sippy cup of water while I was on the toilet yesterday. ...cant fault him

That's good!

My elder two will help but sound less willing than yours!

I got lucky with my ds. Hes very helpful but I think I will have probkems with dd...she is already a vit of a terror. In xmas day she pretended to hug ds then bit him and drew blood. ...no reason just because she could! She also has a really bad habit of pulling the toys out then as im putting them away shes over the other side of the room pulling all the dvds off the tv stand!!

Sounds like my youngest I'm sure she has a personal mission to get every item in the house on the floor at the same time

Haha. I have to laugh at it though. She is quite funny and she always kisses me to say sorry. I suppose thats just babies ...I may end up bald once this ones born though as I dont think she will appreciate having to share me with another baba...and then when this one is mobile she will teach it everything she knows so double trouble. I bet your eldest 2 are the same....very close and uo to mischief together but at the same time argue like theres no tomorrow! My mum had three of us in 5 yrs and the fights we had were unbelievable but we always played together. ..so kind of looking forward to it but dreading it at the same time. I am looking forward to nesting though...im like a machine once that kicks in! Anyways off to bed. Going to read my book before the housework starts tomorrow. ...wish me luck

They are just like that yes!

I have never done nesting.

How is everyone today?

Im good today. Im feeling much better...my living room is clean and tidy and going to have a brew then start on the kitchen. Just pacing myself instead of trying to get it all done...seems to be working

That's good fatty!

We've been out this morning so not done any housework

Piles and piles of washing

Just had lunch and now on the pots

Im so glad ive seen this thread I thought I was the only one. Im a lone parent just me and dd 5 im normally okayish with housework but I started a new job in December and dd seems to have had every illness known to man and kindly passed it on since then. Its so hard to keep on top of housework when your both not well and wor, Christmas and all the other crap

When we had three under 5 it was often like this - you just cannot keep up with putting away all the things three small children take out (and was with two parents together and no children with special needs, although we both worked full time). i can say it is so much easier now they are teenagers - really easy. Also they don't by that stage usually play with lots of toys so if they've been in a room they probably leave nothing there when they leave except a few plates. So just hang on in there and it will get better.
Never go to another room without taking something from the first room which needs to be in the next one and ditto going upstairs if you have stairs.

It is deffently a battle with "stuff"

Managed to sort out downstairs. ..just upstairs now...but that can be sone tomorrow when dd naps and ds is at school. Slowly getting there.....

Well done

I don't feel i ever get to the point where I feel a room is done

Its not perfect ive not taken the dvds off the unit to dust behind or pulled out my tv stand to clean behind that etc but ive done most of it and considering the mess it was in I feel quite proud that ive manages to get it done even if its not perfect. I dont think it will ever be perfect or completely done though, thats an impossibility with kids

It is indeed!

Kitchen is 50% done

Washing all done and away

All upstairs rooms and landing hoovered

Stairs swept

Toilet and bathroom sink and surfaces cleaned

Had a productive last couple of hours!