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Original poster

If you could get back with your Ex would you?

52 replies

Blondiebrownie · 04/05/2014 11:34

I have been a LP for 2 years but I would jump at the opportunity to get back with my Ex. I miss everything about being a family and my feelings haven't faded for him either; I'd do anything to go back to how it was.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Foxy800 · 06/05/2014 07:41

When we first split up yes but now nearly three years later absolutely not!!!

I miss the idea of a family unit but I don't want to be a family with him. He has done so much in the last few years that has made me realise how much he isnt the guy for me.

Dwerf · 06/05/2014 07:43

I did. After three years apart we gave it another go. Lasted nine weeks. So no, not a third time, though we still get on really well.

bibliomania · 06/05/2014 10:42

No, unless he had a complete personality transplant. I did like his body

Imelda, I understand where you're coming from, but your ex would still be EA if you were a family, and it would have been more confusing for the dcs, because it would seem as if you were condoning his behaviour. You can run interference to some degree, but not completely, and you unintentionally give the message that a bit of abuse is okay.

It's far clearer for dcs to spend time in a house where EA doesn't exist and time in a house where EA does exist - they see exactly what the difference is. To spend time in a house where EA sometimes exists and sometimes doesn't is to absorb the message that no place is safe.

FullySwindonian · 06/05/2014 13:27

Although he never properly lived with us as a family, just came and went as he pleased, and mostly ignored our child, I do sorely miss the family aspect of it all. Day trips and even mundane stuff like supermarket shopping.
The way everything became a whole instead of a disjointed me, the kids, sometimes him too, back to just me and the kids, etc. Even though I know he was just faking that anyway at the time.

I so poignantly feel like a single parent family now it's almost palpable. I don't feel like 'head of the household'. I miss the idea of joint decisions, someone to share the day with ithe evening, making future plans with, life revolving around the children, shaping their little lives and the whole building a family memory bank thing. Making a life as a unit.

I wouldn't go back to him because I left him for a reason.

One day, OP, you'll recreate those feelings for another man and everything will fall into place.

NettoSuperstar · 06/05/2014 13:30

Good fucking god no.

rainbowfeet · 06/05/2014 13:33

Yes, but not now only if we could turn the clock back. It was outside stresses that was the major factor in our split... Wish we would have been offered councilling Hmm

Longdistance · 06/05/2014 13:33

No. I'd rather stick pins in my eyes!

WeebleOfWombledon · 06/05/2014 13:46

No, never. We've both moved on. Both married and had other children. We are/were better off as friends. However, since he's had his second child he's starting to show his true colours with regards to DD. Her new sibling is around five weeks and she's yet to be introduced or even see her dad because it's "too much at the minute with the new baby." Despite him previously having EOW access.

justtoomessy · 06/05/2014 17:50

Not if I was paid a million pound and him and his now wife (was OW) are most welcome to each other.

RedBushedT · 07/05/2014 21:56

No. In fact, I told my parents just last night that if I ever got back together with him, they were to have me committed as I would definitely be having a breakdown of some sort! Grin
It did take some adjustment being on my own but I don't regret leaving the drunken arsehole for a second.

feathermucker · 07/05/2014 22:26

Wouldn't spit on the motherfucker if he was on fire. Very messed up individual who ruined the chance I gave him to get to know his son spectacularly Sad

Nope, never, never Hmm

iMacHunt · 08/05/2014 09:02

No fucking way.

It wasn't until I was out of the relationship (and reading the Relationships forum) that I realised just how abusive he actually was. And still is.

I now have a lovely bf who loves me for who I am, wouldn't change me for anything and is so much better than the ex in all the ways Wink

lostdad · 08/05/2014 13:19

My ex is doing to her latest victim partner what she did to me. She has no regard for him as a person whatsoever and he comes across as being happy to be her doormat. Good luck to him...not for me though.

On reflection my ex and me were a bad match and us splitting up was a case of when' and not if'.

It's not a fault on either our parts that we weren't suited each other.

Ava7Susan · 14/08/2017 01:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mum2oneds · 14/08/2017 18:54

I'd rather shit in my hands and clap 👏 than get back with my ex...

Chasingsquirrels · 14/08/2017 19:00

No.

It's been 9 years (omg!) and I met a new partner, remarried and am now widowed.
I don't dislike or hate exH, I've just moved on and don't have any real feelings towards him other than as the gather of my children

However I do wish he'd never left, mainly for our children, although I find that hard to reconcile with the joy I experienced with late-DH which I wouldn't have had if exH hadn't left.

alittlepieceofme · 25/08/2017 02:27

At the moment yes as he only left us on Monday and I'm really struggling to come to terms with it but I know he's not coming back, he's made that quite clear! Seeing what other people have posted definitely gives me hope as at the moment I can't see where to go from here! I still love him but he has said he doesn't love me anymore! We only had our baby 8 months ago but he couldn't ride out the toughest months!

RoseNarene · 25/08/2017 17:46

My ex sent videos of himself wanking to another woman so no, I think I'll pass on the prospect of getting back with him.

kittybiscuits · 25/08/2017 17:53

I'd rather die.

What were the circumstances of your separation that you want him back?

GettingScaredNow · 25/08/2017 17:57

Never ever ever.

Unlike all the posters saying they miss the company etc, I don't. Not his anyway.

But then again, he was violent, abusive and threatened to kill me.

pinkunicornsarefluffy · 25/08/2017 21:07

Five years ago I would have given anything for him to come back. Now? No way.

I've seen another side of him since, verbally abusive, lying, short temper, failure to see his DC regularly or have regular contact.

I couldn't be with a man like that.

I do wish it had never happened and the bubble had never burst, mainly for poor DC's sake. But that's different to wanting "him" back.

IrritatedUser1960 · 25/08/2017 21:12

Hell no, not with either of them.

KarmaNoMore · 25/08/2017 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Starlight2345 · 25/08/2017 23:25

Nope...I left my ex because he was abusive..

He told me when I dropped DS in contact centre he wanted to try again.

I informed him I didn't and even if I did I wouldn't risk losing my DS going out with someone abusive..

RedastheRose · 26/08/2017 01:12

Nope nasty narcissistic emotionally abusive prick. Glad to be shot of him.

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