does single parent mean bad parent.

[gem1984]

I'm a single mum with 8 wk old. im worried bout my bab in case i cant provide for him what 2 parents can. does being a single parent men bad parent?
i feel i cant share things and evrything seems to be on my shoulders as parents live far away.....
they say mothers instint you'll know what to do but i feel im crap and my baby hates me.

Hi gem - just wanted to say a few things that I hope will help and you won't feel alone.

Even with a DH I felt completely useless as a mother when DS was 8 weeks old. I spent most of my time when he was asleep sat outside his room crying. It's nothing to do with being a single parent - it's your hormones and the shock of having another little person to look after who needs you so much. Happily for me I had a good health visitor and I don't know why as I wasn't going to but on one of her visits I told her how I felt - she was great and referred me to homestart and they've been fantastic.

Also, ignore anyone who looks down on you - they're not worth thinking about. As someone who does have support I have so much respect for you and other single mums with tiny babies - I really don't think I could have coped and I think it's amazing that you do it all by yourself. Mother's instinct doesn't always happen as naturally as people make out, it grows on you. Take the time to get to know your baby and you'll figure it out eventually! It does get better - soon it'll be smiles and gurgles along with the crying and poo - it makes it so much easier.

I'm not a single mum, but just wanted to say that I have alot of respect for single mums as being a mum isn't always easy, and being single can make that it even harder. It certainly doesn't make you a bad parent. Just think you are doing twice the work so you must be twice as good!

I'm a single mom. I have an 8 month old son. Being a single mom definatley does not mean you are or will be a bad parent!!! As long as you love your child, provide everything he or she needs, you're doing a wonderful job! A lot of parents who are still together are worse parents than a single parent.

I haven't read all the replies, but the first thing I want to say is... first time mum with an 8 week old - I remember sooo vividly feeling crap and that she hated me (and that was with a partner) - perfectly natural feeling. As long as a child is fed, watered and loved, you are doin fine

Second is - I was raised by a single mum. Not from babydom, granted, but still single for a fair portion of my childhood - and I wouldn't change a thing. Single mum or married mum - it is the love that matters.

hi gem, im a single mum twice over, from day one with dd (second baby). if there's one thing i remember vividly its when we got back from the hospital. there she was snoozing in her little car seat. i put it down on the sofa and thought "oh...what do i do now?" and i stood there for quite a while feeling totally lost and hopeless! horrible feeling, but its certainly not like that now. 8 weeks is very early on and it really does get better. of course i still have times when i want to tear my hair out but then most parents feel like that! im sure you will be fine, believe in yourself and it will all come together. dont beat yourself up about feeling low right now, its completely normal. there's no such thing as the perfect parent whether you're single or not, we're only human and we can only try our best. im sure you'll do a great job