CSA for step child

[helmaria]

Now my ex has a step child living with him, does this lessen my csa payments?

Holiday analogy is ridiculous. Comparing a non essential like that to rent as an analogy to feeding four mouths instead of two because you HAVE to feed four because the tax credits have gone? Sure.

Providing for your children is essential. Making the choice to go on and have more when you cannot afford them is very selfish. It is not essential to move in with a partner who has kids, it is also not essential to have more children.

What you're suggesting is that ex wife gets fully supported by state, ex husband, parents

There, right there says it all. It is not the ex they are supporting it's their fucking kids. She may get some support from her parents but that is their prerogative if they want to help out their daughter and Grandchild. It isn't about what the ex can afford to do. It is about doing the right thing and supporting the lives that they had a 50% hand in making.

If this means you wait until you are in a more financially sound position before making decisions that will affect the NRP children negatively then so be it. You made the choice to have your fiance move in therefore made the choice to relinquish your financial independence and now instead of your fiance providing financially for his children he is providing for a grown woman and her DC. It was your choice to put your wants and needs before that of his kids.

The alternative would be for me stay as a single parent and no government is going order anything where it increases the number of single parent households! Hardly an election winner.

That's very black and white. A more sensible alternative would be to sort out your finances before moving in a man who had existing responsibilities before you even got together with him and the squash them because your needs are more immediate than theirs.

So, I won't apologise for saying the certain NRPs aren't worth their salt. They aren't. I also won't apologise for making this personal because you were the one who has done that. Throughout posts most of the PP who have a similar viewpoint to me have kept it strictly RP/NRP in hypothetical situations based loosely around peoples actual experiences. Don't invite opinion into your real life situation if you aren't prepared to hear what you don't like.

Meep Meep for deputy

Why can't you get your support from your wages ?

But if he gives his ex 15% of hid wages you still have the other 85% supporting you.

Did I say he specifically wasn't I said some aren't.

It's too late now but every parent and partner of a parent should take these things into account before making the decision. You both made the decision either not bothering that he would lower his kids CMP or you didn't look into it your finances which is irresponsible in itself.

I appreciate you have a child with a disability and that would be difficult Serobin but while your eldest is at school you could work. If there was an issue at school your work would have to accommodate you situation and allow you to leave. My best friend has a severely autistic child and she is a single parent who works part time. It is do-able.

Sorry for the last comment have looked back and said you couldn't work full time. That is fair enough I can understand that entirely.

Meh. If she stops contact because of money and it's in the court she's going to get a rocket up her back side.

Seen it, done it, help get the court order.

Serobin - your situation IS slightly different - you have a DC with Autism, which prevents you from working FT. But surely the extra support you get from the state for that is not dependent on whether you are living with an NRP or not? DS3's DLA rates did not suddenly rise when his Dad left.

No, it doesn't make up for the wages I would earn if I was working FT, but DLA is not means-tested.

If you are talking about TC's, well, that's a different matter. IMO, the top-up on CTC if one of your DC's has a disability should be taken OFF CTC and added on top of DLA. Then if you lose CTC when you CHOOSE to move in with an NRP, you are not losing any more than any other RP.

However - surely, as it did with me, it was still your CHOICE, knowing that you were unable to work FT, to move in with an NRP that had an existing financial responsibility towards his DC's.

Just because YOU cannot work FT, it does not absolve him of his financial responsibilities towards his DC's.

The ONLY thing that should absolve him of those financial responsibilities is if those DC's are adopted by a new partner of the RP...

No overnights? Blimey. He really needs to sort that out.

It's common though - overnights are a real sticking point for many hostile RPs. Not sure why...I would have thought kids would come to less harm overnight while everyone was asleep than during the day when they do things like run around, fall over and break things.

On FNF...? Nice one.

LOL - we probably know each other by other names and I think I know who you are!

FWIW Serobin I truly hope your fiances Ex gets ripped a new one for the way she has tried to manipulate the system. I also hope your fiance gets the outcome he is looking for.

She sounds like a bitch to put it bluntly.

Hold on... Have you reduced CMP in order to raise funds for your fiance to fight for the right to see his DC?

Serobin can you arrange to reduce the debt payments down to the minimum possible while its all being sorted out? That way you would have the shortfall in CM to raise it back to what it was.