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Original poster

i need some advice about my new relationship and my daughter

85 replies

lilworthy · 10/12/2013 14:33

can any one give me some advice about my new relationship. do you think it was too early for my boyfriend to meet my daughter only after a month. my daughter loves him. and her dad did the same. so im confused her dad cant say nothing as he did the same. but i would like someones views on it. no negative comments please

OP posts:
Original poster
lilworthy · 10/12/2013 18:55

Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
lilworthy · 10/12/2013 18:58

That is true. And that's all she does think.
I dont like to be maded to feel bad about it.
Hes met her twice because he came round for a brew and then he went after a while.

OP posts:
KellyHopter · 10/12/2013 18:59

So we're all making the mistake of thinking they spend lots of time together- but it's you who's saying your daughter loves him and he has promised not to disappear out of her life. After a month Hmm

Look, do what you want, you're a grown up, it's one of the perks. But there is no reason at all for your dd to be involved in this at all, a new relationship can be formed and tested without your dd being a part of it at this early stage. Lots of people seem to need immediate intensity and full-on living in pockets type stuff and I imagine its hard to do that without involving the child/ren.

I know of only two people in rl who introduce kids so early. It's never been the 'one' though they always think it is, but one of many and just another part of general fucked up-ness.

But if it feels right and normal to you then there's nothing anyone else can say to you that will make you think twice.

Original poster
lilworthy · 10/12/2013 19:00

But after that he hasn't been round because hes been in hospital after being hit by a car. But me and him are taking it slowly.
I told him that before I got into a relationship with him

OP posts:
OddFodd · 10/12/2013 19:18

Nothing you say is consistent.

He's only met her a couple of times in the street.
He's come round for a brew a couple of times.
He loves her and she loves him.

Which of these statements is true? Because they can't all be.

I think you might get a more sympathetic hearing on nethuns.

CheckedPjs · 10/12/2013 19:22

Maybe they met a couple of times in the street and he then came over for a drink?

Children love everything, do they mean love love? I doubt it. My son loves our christmas tree is he going to be emotionally distressed once it's gone in January I very much doubt it!

Original poster
lilworthy · 10/12/2013 19:25

Thank you checkedpjs

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Original poster
lilworthy · 10/12/2013 19:28

My dds dads gf has walked out of her after only a few months of spending time with my dd and shes fine with it. Not fair on my dd ovb

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sutekidane · 10/12/2013 19:29

I think it's all a bit bonkers to be up in arms when your ex did this but now it's you, it's a-okay. Hope you apologise to your ex for any drama back when it was him introducing too early.

Original poster
lilworthy · 10/12/2013 19:30

Im not saying its okay thanks.

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Original poster
lilworthy · 10/12/2013 19:32

I do not have any contact with my dds dad!!

OP posts:
JanineStHubbins · 10/12/2013 19:32

Are you going to introduce your new boyfriend to your ex, OP?

sutekidane · 10/12/2013 19:34

Calm down. I don't know the ins and outs of your life. All I know is you started a raging thread when he introduced a woman to your dd too early but it's you, it's not too early at all.

Original poster
lilworthy · 10/12/2013 19:34

My exs family and himself said they dont care and dont want to meet any partner I have

OP posts:
OddFodd · 10/12/2013 19:35

What a pointless thread. You don't want advice, you want affirmation (which means you want to be told that you're absolutely in the right).

In future, I'd wait but what's done is done.

sutekidane · 10/12/2013 19:35

Now it's you*

Original poster
lilworthy · 10/12/2013 19:36

What you mean and yes I did. And I spoke to his family about that. Ive always said If my ex wants to meet my new boyfriend he is more than welcome too. But the only reply I got was they dont care what I do and they wouldn't want to meet him!. What do you mean its not to early at all??

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Original poster
lilworthy · 10/12/2013 19:38

And no I dont I just wanted abit of advice and peoples views not negative comments against me. Like you said what is done is done!.

OP posts:
JanineStHubbins · 10/12/2013 19:40

OP, she means that ironically, given that you raged about your ex introducing your dd to his girlfriend when they had been together for 'under a year', you seem to think that introducing your dd to your boyfriend after four weeks is perfectly acceptable. There is a contradiction there, don't you see?

sutekidane · 10/12/2013 19:41

You moaned when your ex introduced his girlfriend to your dd when he'd only been with her a few months.
Now you are introducing your boyfriend four weeks after getting with him.

When he did it, you thought it was too early.
When you did it, you think it's not too early.

It's just a bit odd really.

KingRollo · 10/12/2013 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KingRollo · 10/12/2013 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lilworthy · 10/12/2013 19:41

They were together the same amount of time me and my new boyfriend has been together when he did it.

OP posts:
KingRollo · 10/12/2013 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sutekidane · 10/12/2013 19:43

Oh. My. God.

That's the point, you donut!

Why did you have a problem when he did it but when you do it, it's okay?