If you're a lone parent, is it realistic to think you can work full time?

[Caligula]

I've seen a job I'd really like to apply for, but it's full time. And immediately the difficulties spring at me: what happens when your kids are ill (someone was telling me today about how school refuse to give her DS anti-biotics so she has to go and give him the medicine at lunch time, the alternative would be not to send him to school until the course of anti-biotics is finished); how do you get homework and reading done; when on earth do you fit in ironing, housework etc., are your houses filthy (even working from home for only 16 hours, by evening I feel so exhausted that I can't physically force myself to do housework - how much worse would it be if I'd been out all day?) How do you do parent's evenings? All these things you can get round incident by incident, but after a certain amount of time, do you find it impossible to carry on? Last time I had a f/t job it was only for a short term contract and I had a childminder and au-pair, but the salary on this one won't run to both. Am I being totally unrealistic even considering full time work? Does anyone do it successfully?

[Rose32]

Hi -

I work fulltime, with one DD who is nearly three.

I take work home and get up at 6am to do it, or else do it over the weekend when dd is sleeping. I have an hour commute to and fro, which is the killer, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone.

I think working full-time is doable as a single parent, but I am not sure I would choose to do it - all my free time is dd's, but it never seems enough. Housework, I blitz on Saturday morning when she is with her dad, and by keeping up with the washing etc in the evenings (load the machine while she is asleep, then you only need to switch it on when you get home, empty it once she is asleep and load tumble dryer, switch it on in the morning and so on), also part of our evening routine is tidying up the toys she has been playing with and deciding which ones are coming upstairs etc. I am currently doing up our house to sell so that I can move closer to where I work. If I am honest, I don't consistently work effectively - I have periods (like now) where I feel totally burnt out and I am just treading water in the office and sneaking off to the park to see dd (the nursery take them out in the afternoon) and periods where I am literally working non-stop (except when dd is awake or I am asleep). The nature of my job means that I can take work home and organise my own workload. I do just have to accept that I will get less done than a single, child-free person, but I think this would have been the same as a married working mother - or worse, as then I had to clean up after ex-dh too.

I am constantly questioning whether this is the right life for me and dd, I guess I am waiting until we have moved house to see how much of a difference losing the commute makes. If it doesn't make any difference, I'll go part-time if I can make the sums add up, becuase life is too short!

R