So, how would you define single parent?

[veryconfusedatthemoment]

Just curious. Another stroppy email from exH, ending with you are not a single parent. Urr, yes I am after you fucked OW and I threw you out. You are still DS Dad but I am a single parent.

What do you all think defines being a single parent?

I don't know. I am sort of living as a single/lone parent at the moment and have been for the last year, but I have a DP, in fact fiancé, so it's not really the same as I get to offload to him, can discuss DS stuff with him, can text him with ever-increasing stress texts when I'm sitting outside DS' bedroom door waiting for him to sleep, etc, which I wouldn't have if I didn't have a partner. Plus his family are like an extra support network for me, and he sends money etc if I'm struggling.

I have all the day to day stuff, like having to be responsible for everything, having to do everything myself etc but it's not the same as it was when I was really a lone parent.

I think because I see the word "single" as describing the parenting status rather than relationship, "I'm a single parent and this is my boyfriend" would be clear to me. Its pretty obvious that the boyfriend isn't the father, or she wouldn't be describing herself that way, she would be parenting with someone. It works exactly the same as your lone parent example so I do agree in that context its just semantics.

Even if "lone parent" becomes more widely used, people will still understand "single parent" to mean raising a child alone. A dad who sees his child once a week is not raising the child so shouldn't call himself a single dad because of that understanding iyswim.

I think I should also have said I define myself as a single/ lone parent because I don't have the intimate/ partnership support that I'd have if I were to parent my DC with their biological fathers.

I have to admit I've tended to have the DWP/HMRC definition of a 'single parent' in mind when I think about the term, as I've had to be so careful to not overstep the mark into 'living together as husband and wife' to maintain my tax credits! In their terms, LTAHAW doesn't actually mean living sleeping every night under the same roof, it can mean spending some nights together and also sharing meals, shopping etc. They don't take into account whether your partner (who might not be your child's father) takes on any parenting duties with your child!

I see myself as having been a single parent for 10 years. I got a lot of help with parenting from my parents and sisters, but DS never had contact or any maintenance from his dad. I don't think you have to be coping with everything completely on your own to be regarded as a single parent, I don't like the idea that the fact that I'm fortunate to have had the support means that I'm 'less' of a single parent than someone without it. I know other parents who have had lots more support than I have, probably more than many mums who are married (did well out of divorce, big family/friends network around to help) but they are all still definitely single mums.

I think I link the 'single' bit to the relationship rather than parenting - because that's what the DWP do, I suppose. I do find it acceptable for non-resident fathers to call themselves single dads, I don't find that odd at all. I normally expect them to be non-resident, as most of the single dads I've met have been.

I have a DP now but I still regarded myself as a single parent until he moved in. He never had sole care of DS before then, although we'd go for days out and spend lots of time together, and he'd listen to my concerns/moans. But we didn't become a unit until we lived together, and started sharing finances, chores, responsibilities etc. I don't see myself as a single parent any more (the DWP would have words with me if I ticked that box!), although for the major decisions like schools, DP isn't involved.

Hmm. I consider myself a single parent because I have no couple-relationship with DS' dad and he doesn't live with us. He's a good dad, sees DS regularly, contributes financially and we consider ourselves family (including all the other relatives on both sides). But DS two parents are his parents and not each other's romantic partners.

I think the term 'single parent' is not very well defined generally. My understanding is that a parent who is single, as in has no partner, is a single parent. They do however have other 'support' around, usually in the form of family and friends. I recognize 'lone-parent' to define the same as above except with no family or friends around, what-so-ever. Alone.

Whilst myself and ExH have 50:50 shared care I still myself as a lone parent. Why because he does all the Disney stuff. I do all the doctors appointments, parents meetings, school uniform buying, homework enforcement. He cares for DD yes, I parent.

lonecat agree with you completely. We have 50-50 but I do all the homework, doctors, school trip sorting etc.

I definitely consider myself a single parent. I get more time off the kids than most, but equally I have to deal with a twat of an ex, I miss the kids when they're gone and struggle to get over them not being there

I am a single parent. i am not in a relationship and DS has never met his dad. i think that if both parents are actively involved and both doing a good share of parenting (even if the child spends more time at one place) then you are not technically parenting on your own, however the term "single" tends to make people think of relationship status too so i suppose if i was in a serious relationship with a DP (ie. living together and he/she helps parent your children) then i wouldn't say i was a single parent then.

i do all my child's parenting, take him to all clubs, nuersery, make all decisions about medication, feed him, clothe him etc. his dad doesn't contribute anything and i don't have a partner so to me, that is a single parent.

i think it means different things for different people.

Very interesting.

I am a single parent in that I am the only parent in resident, with 3 young sons. I do all the parenting, all the household jobs, everything by myself (family live couple hundred miles away).

However, we do see their dad about 5 times a year when he's back in the country and comes home for a couple of days. He sends us money which we budget and live off. Apart from that, we only speak on the phone once a month.

Although this fits the definition many of you have come up with, I don't feel like i can claim to be single parent. But now I'm not sure why not.

Ha, yes. My exh was a 'single parent' too despite NEVER having my dds overnight. He had them once a week for tea unless a better offer came up.
I was a single parent from when he left until my now eh moved in.