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Lone parents

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Original poster

HOW AM I GOING TO COPE?

58 replies

amy2811 · 28/05/2006 15:11

I need some help me and my husband have seperated this week and I am a mess. I am breaking down in tears every 2minutes and my dd who is 2 1/2 is really feeling the impact of it. She is bawling her eyes out with me everytime I am. I am a walking distaster at the moment. Everyone is telling me to put my dd first but I am finding it so difficult. I want my husband back so much and its killing me. The hardest thing is I cant stop thinking about him meeting someone else and being with her and that is ripping me apart. I have got to go to the drs on Tuesday for anti-depressants and sleeping pills because I am just not coping. How can I get over this and stop the pain? How can I accept this and move on! I have even thought about putting myself out of this misery for good but I dont know what is stopping me and the worst thing is I dont think its my dd! That make me a terrible mother I know but I cant help it! PLEASE HELP ME SOMEONE!!

OP posts:
Cam · 28/05/2006 15:14

amy, please try to calm down, put the thoughts of harming yourself out of your head. Try to focus on immediate practical issues such as giving your child meals, etc. Have you got a friend or relation you can phone for emotional or practical support today?

Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 15:17

It just feels like all my friends have "taken his side" I feel like I have got no one. My mums works all the hours god sends and I haven't got anyone else my best friends are also his friends but I have falln out with 1 of them at the moment because of the way I acted when he left me and stayed there no more than 30seconds away. I feel so alone an no one can help!

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Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 15:26

I dont know what else to do some one please help me!!! I am in tears now as well and my dd is getting really upset. I feel like I cant cope. Am I turning into a bad mother because if this?

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fairyjay · 28/05/2006 15:32

You need to speak to someone. Do you think you could call the Samaritans?

It must be awful for you at the moment amy, but you need to work through this. And you can do it - your dd needs you to.

lastrolo · 28/05/2006 15:34

can you ask someone to look after your dd so u can sort your head out. take every day at a time things are still pretty raw at the moment but they will get better. it is awful to have no where to turn

tortoise · 28/05/2006 15:34

You are not turning into a bad mum.It will be hard but you will be ok.Is you mum someone you can talk to when shes not at work? Do you get on well? What area do you live in? You dont want to end your life because you dd needs you.Good luck.x

Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 15:39

Im in Portsmouth. Me and my mum get along like a house on fire me and my dad however dont! I dont feel like I can be on my own at the moment and I have never felt more alone than this. I know my dd needs me but I cant snap out of this. I am so scared of what I am going to do but I cant face this. I cant see a future with out him and I keep begging him to give us another try. My mum keeps trying to help but its just not working. I am thinking about letting my husband having my dd full time I am not stable enough to be a mother!

OP posts:
nellie245 · 28/05/2006 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaintGeorge · 28/05/2006 15:45

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2100&threadid=177610&stamp=060528154143#3680499\Responses on your other thread also}

Ring the Samaritans please. 08457 90 90 90

nellie245 · 28/05/2006 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YellowFeathers · 28/05/2006 15:51

amy
I've never been in this situation before so can't offer much help but like nellie has just said it is very early days. Don't make any rash decisions that you may well regret later on.
FWIW I'd feel exactly the same as you if this did happen to me and I'm sure others on here can tell you that they did too.

MN is a great place for support but as others have suggested if you feel you can't cope. Call someone.

xxx

fairyfly · 28/05/2006 15:55

The first thing you have to realise is that what you are feeling is normal. It doesn't make you a bad person or a weak mother. You are grieving. I felt exactly the same as you. Could your husband heve your child for a week and you go and stay at your mums? It is incredibly difficult to look after a child when you're upset, we are human and you cant just close off your feelings because it's expected.
You will get through this if you want to but the feelingfs you have now stayed with me for months. Looking back i had to go through the process of utter despair as i needed to not bottle it up and shed myself of him.
Please above anything else get rid of your you are entitled too feel all that you are it is an incredibly scarey place to be in.
If you want to talk further you can msn me

bhuna at msn com

i want you to know that is does end and you will feel happiness again.

fairyfly · 28/05/2006 15:56

it should say, get rid of your guilt

Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 15:57

I have rang the samaritans and all the done is listened witch I know is theit job but its not really helping me! I just wish someone would take the pain away I have never hurt this much, or cried this much or wanted just not to be here so much before.

OP posts:
nellie245 · 28/05/2006 16:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 16:06

This is whats tearing me apart even more me and 1 of my best friends fell out because of the way I reacted when he left me and stayed over there, less than 30seconds away and my mum works all the hours that god sends and really cant afford to take any time off! I have thought of all this witch is why in my head at the moment ending everything is going to be the only way I can stop all this heartache!

OP posts:
nellie245 · 28/05/2006 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puddytats · 28/05/2006 16:19

Amy2811, I am near chichester, do you want to meet up, can i help in any way? I drive so can get to you if needs be?

Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 16:20

Im not making excuses I promise. I have tried contacting her and she just wont talk to me. She hasn't even told me why Im just assuming. My mum is working today yea and the neighbour that I am friends with (the rest have moved away now, I am in Military quaters!) is visiting her husbands parents and isn't back until next weekend! As I said there really is no-one. My best friends boyf is my husbands best friend so she is like piggy in the middle and her dd isn't very well at the moment!

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Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 16:22

Puddy I dont want to burdan myself on you. I really am in such a mess at the moment I am a physical and emotional state.

OP posts:
puddytats · 28/05/2006 16:24

You will not be a burden, this is what mumsnet is all about, helping eachother thro the good and bad times. My dh has the car atm but should be home by 6. Do you want me to come over? Do you want to talk a bit more first - i can give u my email address and or my phone number later if you want to talk?

Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 16:26

What kind of person am I? I have no-one of my friends or family to help me! Im depending on strangers! I just wish someone could give me a way through this!!

OP posts:
AllieBongo · 28/05/2006 16:26

what a kind gesture puddytats. Amy, people do care about you x

nellie245 · 28/05/2006 16:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 16:32

Puddytats I didnt realise that you had problems of your own. Please concentrate on yourself. Thank you so much for your kind offer tho!

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