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Original poster

HOW AM I GOING TO COPE?

58 replies

amy2811 · 28/05/2006 15:11

I need some help me and my husband have seperated this week and I am a mess. I am breaking down in tears every 2minutes and my dd who is 2 1/2 is really feeling the impact of it. She is bawling her eyes out with me everytime I am. I am a walking distaster at the moment. Everyone is telling me to put my dd first but I am finding it so difficult. I want my husband back so much and its killing me. The hardest thing is I cant stop thinking about him meeting someone else and being with her and that is ripping me apart. I have got to go to the drs on Tuesday for anti-depressants and sleeping pills because I am just not coping. How can I get over this and stop the pain? How can I accept this and move on! I have even thought about putting myself out of this misery for good but I dont know what is stopping me and the worst thing is I dont think its my dd! That make me a terrible mother I know but I cant help it! PLEASE HELP ME SOMEONE!!

OP posts:
puddytats · 28/05/2006 16:33

amy2811, everyone is a stranger the first time you meet them. You are relying on people who can help pull u through. I have never been in your situation but have been through some s**t the last year so can understand to a point. Please talk to me.

puddytats · 28/05/2006 16:34

We all have problems, we all help eachother thro. That is how it works. I am here ready and willing to help

nellie245 · 28/05/2006 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 16:39

Managed to stop crying but just keep thinking how much I am going to be on my own and how scared I am of loosing all my friends that are his friends. I haven't eaten in a few days just been drinking water. Have tried but made my self sick with it!

OP posts:
puddytats · 28/05/2006 16:42

Eat just little bits at a time. You have to keep your strength up for your dd. Can u get an emergancy drs appointment?

Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 16:44

Ive got 1 for Tuesday afternoon thats the earliest they could fit me in!

OP posts:
nellie245 · 28/05/2006 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puddytats · 28/05/2006 16:47

I can be with you as soon as dh gets back with the car - typical he is over in Fareham!! Please eat. Please try and stay calm. It is very early days and things are bound to be very raw. Give yourself time.\Can you tell me why you seperated?

Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 16:50

Yea my cupboards are full with all sorts. I just dont want to eat I dont want to do anything at the moment! I want my husband and my marriage back. I no this is all probably just self pitty but I cant snap out of this. I was ok until I discovered that my friend is pissed off with me and then it all went wrong from there! Started realising that I might loses all my other friends because of this as well!!

OP posts:
puddytats · 28/05/2006 16:52

One very important lesson i have had to learn recently is that true friends are very hard to come by. All of us have people that we know, now is the time true friends will start showing their colours.\Everyone else is not worth the worry.

nellie245 · 28/05/2006 16:58

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Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 16:58

I just cant handle loosing my friens and my husband as well. I need someone! The reason we seperated is because we have been having a rough period in the last 5months. We got back on track and then he went out on a lads night out and kissed another woman. I thought I could get over this and we stayed together and I kept digging and he told me that he has been feeling like crap over the past 4weeks (the time he kissed the woman) and he isn't in-love with me any more and he wants the divorce!

OP posts:
puddytats · 28/05/2006 17:02

I am so very sorry you are having to go through this. As i said, at the moment everything is very raw, you are acting on emotions. Has he left the house? Is it possible he could look after your daughter for an evening so you can get your head sorted.
All that is important now is you and your daughter. You have eachother, you must draw strength from eachother. I know it is easy for me to say, i am not in your situation but life HAS to continue, the minutes still tick by regardless of whether you want them to or not.
He kissed the other woman, he was in the wrong, not you. This is a devestating way for a marriage to end but you WILL get through it. You are stronger than you think

nellie245 · 28/05/2006 17:12

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
amy2811 · 28/05/2006 17:25

Thank-you so muucfor everything you have told me and advised me. I am going to have to go now because my dd is hungry and I need to make her some dinner. I hope to speak to you all again soon take care x

OP posts:
nellie245 · 28/05/2006 17:31

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AllieBongo · 28/05/2006 17:32

take care of you x

mistressmiggins · 28/05/2006 20:13

just wanted to add to everyone's support

of course you feel terrible - its early days

my H left in Nov and I STILL have bad days BUT things are looking up

MN has been my source of strength - people not afraid to say what they think but equally fiercely supportive

you are NOT a terrible mum but you do need to find support for you

we're all here to sound off at
xxx

nicnack2 · 28/05/2006 21:59

could you approach the padre for a chat or family liason/ wivves club at the base? I knew you feel out of control at the moment please think before you do anything re dd. I remenber asking my mother when the hurt would end and it does. You cant see the end but it is already on the horizon. Make a safe place for you self. I promisied myself that i would not cry in my bed and i didnt and that were i felt safe aweay form the hurt. Yes i was ill and needed ad but they were a stepping stone and lever that i needed to see the end. Take care

puddytats · 29/05/2006 10:10

How you doing today?

Original poster
amy2811 · 29/05/2006 18:24

Not as sucicidal as I was yesterday thanks the advice really helped x

OP posts:
AllieBongo · 29/05/2006 18:25

glad you feel a little better. it shows that each day you will be a bit stronger x

Original poster
amy2811 · 29/05/2006 18:27

Cant honestly say I feel much stronger but I haven't sat in my kitchen today clutching a bottle of Vodka and bottles and bottles of pain killers or holding a knife!

OP posts:
AllieBongo · 29/05/2006 18:36

well, that's a start!

puddytats · 29/05/2006 18:44

Have been there and done thqat so can totally feel for you there!! The one thing that stopped me was my children. I am responsible for putting them on this earth, the least i can do is be there for them when they need me.
The offer of a coffee, chat, shoulder, etc is always there. U will not be putting me out at all, it as always nice to meet other mothers, esecially ones with children the same age.
When is dd birthday? ds was born 21 November 03