Partner and I are seperatingg, I am feeling in the depths of despair.

[trumphy]

I know that lots of people have gone through this and are going through this. I suppose I just want to connect and hear that everything will be alright in the end. I feel heartbroken. I feel devastated for my children, I feel hurt and used, I'm feeling so many intense emotions at the moment. Sometimes I want to scream other times cry. What do you do when someone tells you they should never have got married? That they've treated you appallingly for years because they weren't happy? I feel like such a idiot. I've lost myself along the way. I'm on anti-depressants and I've had counselling, but I'm still struggling. I desperately want to move on with my life but some days I feel like the pain of this breakup is suffocating me. :(

Just a thought but if he is leaving, why the fuck are you running round exhausting yourself cooking and doing laundry for him?

Stuff that for a game of soldiers.

Cook, clean tidy and laundry for you and kids only. You are not a maid.

Don't do it and don't apologise either. He is taking the piss.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to talk to me on here. I do appreciate it!:) I look forward to coming out of the other side of this.

Earthworms, I was doing his laundry and cooking for him, but I haven't for the last couple of weeks. Ridiculous as it sounds, I felt mean and petty if I didn't! I have struggled with asserting myself in this relationship, but that's definitely not something that will happen again!

YOu will come out the other side, it gets a lot easier.xx

Hi triumphy,

I'm new to mumsnet and have just read this thread. Hope you're feeling a bit better. My Dh and I are goings tell our DC on Sunday that we're separating and I'm literally heartbroken. I never imagined a sadness so overwhelming....and to top it off today is our wedding anniversary.

I've taken strength from some of these replies, so we must try and remember that (hopefully!) we're experiencing the worst part right now. I feel as if next week when he moves out I'll be losing my best friend, and think I've already started grieving. It's hideous. But things HAVE to get better! I have a sneaky feeling that if we let ourselves get so down we won't be able to cope at all, and in my case with 3 very very active children that cannot happen. I was exhausted when there were two parents in the house! Anyway, my message is Think Positive and take care.

Ups and downs, and everyone is talking great sense, of the feeling of loss etc....my decree nisi was granted yesterday....I wasn't fully prepared for the sadness that would set in....kids need us, and if your anything like me you may have parents that are happy about the divorce because of how unhappy I've been...doesn't make it any better...20 years I've known him, 16 of those together....it was hard, it is hard, but it will be good, and we will all be better - none of us have gotten here by taking it lightly.....downs are huge, but good times are coming in the way of a more relaxed atmospher for us and our dc xx

Hi, just want to say I'm in same position, been almost 5 months since he left us and I still cry most days. My LO was Ivf, his factor, and I think I'm at the stage now of accepting this and mourning the life I had dreamt of for us. you're not alone x

No, you are not alone. However if you don't know anyone in real life it's happened to, it can feel like it. I am a year in and tbh it is getting harder. At first, you focus on just surviving and getting through each day. After a few months I felt strong and people said how well I looked. I made a massive effort on my social life.

Now the reality of sorting finances and divorce is setting in (I couldn't face it before) and this is the really horrible bit. Also the social life is waning. Friends are still supportive but most are with partners.

I was going to mention the dc and their sadness but I am going to make you feel even worse aren't I? Sorry.

The good bits are the peace and freedom to be yourself. That is a massive relief.

Make sure you draw upon all the support you can, friends and family. Don't be on your own too much.

Hi all, only just read the last three replies. I guess all I can think is that I have to cry it out. This part is awful. Like my insides have been torn out and I'm living inside a horrible movie. But surely it can only get better!? I hope so. I know I am not the only one and I won't be the last. All the best to everyone. xx