I'm pretty sure this would be unreasonable but thought I'd check how bad it would be:
ExH has recently been quite weird about DD's things. She's starting school in Sept. While she's been in nursery the last couple of years he's been relying on me to pass on info, invitations etc. Now with school he has already decided he is going to ask for copies of all paperwork to go to his address, he's going to do school run at least one day per week (I have to go past the school to go to work & have very flexible hours), and he even has opinions on all the small admin details that never bothered him before.
He got angry with me when I filled in some forms for school (I was going to discuss them with him before sending them off), and he also got angry when I told him I've worked hard to involve him in nursery things. Apparently that just means I'm controlling and he can involve himself, thankyouverymuch.
Obviously that's all fine.
Now this week DD's nursery are having a party for all children and parents. ExH should know as I forwarded him the relevant emails etc, DD had shown him her dress, we've talked about it.
He wouldn't usually see DD that evening but because of his work has asked to see her then rather than another evening. That's fine, we occasionally swap things around and it's usually fine.
However, he didn't acknowledge the party at all, e.g. where to meet (he's never been to where it's going to take place), what to do afterwards. There will be food at the party around dinnertime, so DD wouldn't need to go to his for dinner, and she'll probably also be tired.
My conundrum: I always remind him of DD's significant events and he clearly doesn't appreciate it. He forgot her parents' evening a couple of weeks ago. I don't want to remind him about the party so that he'll get to our house to pick DD up and we won't be there because surprise surprise - I remembered the party because that is my job as DD's parent.
However, he will be very angry at me and would use this as a reason to be difficult in the future (even when he would have been difficult anyway), so it's giving him another reason to tell me how shit I am and how in trying to have all the power and exclude him from DD's life.
She wouldn't miss him if he wasn't at the party, but would be happy to see him.
What should I do? I tried dropping subtle hints about the party tonight but he showed no reaction.
I want to do the mature adult thing, but he's been such an arse about his involvement in school things that I want to show him up. Basically.