Facing pregnancy alone?

[missmaybe]

Just wanted to start a new thread on this - I spotted the old thread but as it has 1,000 messages now it is closed to new messages. I couldn't see a replacement thread so I'm starting one as I think it is a cracking idea!

I'm 29 years old and I'm 7 weeks and 2 days gone with an unplanned pregnancy and really hoping I'll be able to cope. The situation is complicated but the man who got me pregnant isn't around, and won't be. It's a bit scary but I am also hoping it will exciting and wonderful to be a mum - I've always wanted to have children (though admittedly not under these particular circumstances! still...)

Hi everyone, can I join?

It's a while since I was pregnant but I did it alone and am now raising my son alone. I found it hard when I was pregnant because I had had this idealised vision of what it would be like to be preparing for a baby with a loving partner and felt sad that I was missing out somehow, but I definitely don't feel like that any more - in fact, I'm pleased that there's no-one else around because I get to make all the decisions, and if I'm finding making my mind up tricky I just ring up a good friend or family member and talk things through with them (and then do what I want anyway!)

This is only my own experience of course, and I know other single parents who do feel unhappy at being in their situation so I'm not going to pretend that it's all sweetness and light because it's not, but I know for a fact that it's been easier for me than it would have been if the father had stuck around - without him, I am happier and much more confident (I think being a parent makes you confident anyway) and can provide a more stable environment for my son than I could if his father had been with me. Quite apart from anything else, I get to concentrate on my son 100%, which I'm sure can only be beneficial. Don't get me wrong, I have friends, I go out, I socialise etc, but my top priority is my son, rather than running around after some man who doesn't appreciate me.

And congratulations on your bundle, xmasevebundle - you sound so loved up; it's great, isn't it?

^He did wee on me today though, all over my dressing gown

Little boys always do that, bless them. My son shat on me once while I was changing him at 2am!

wallison That post was good

How old is your DS now?

I dont even think his dad sperm doner even nos hes born. Hes missed out so much and he will never get it back. I feel sorry for him in a way!

Hahah! I think you win, his poo looks like tar and runny i would hate if he did that on my dressing gown

Xmas eve. Congrats and a big hug. It's hard but not as hard as I thought. Lo is 2 months now and is being interactive which is so rewarding. I do miss having someone to share stuff with like proud moments but have friends and family for that. Once you get over the stabbed in the back feeling..which I slowly am..you realise how amazing you are doing it alone. I hope you have some support. The first week I thought I was losing my mind due to lack of sleep. Been staying at my Mums which helps.

Keep posting if u need support. Xxx

Thanks xmaseve.

It wasn't a meconium poo, thank the lord - I would probably have chucked my clothes out if it was. It was a breastfed poo, shot out at high velocity. For several minutes I couldn't do anything other than sit there, sleep-deprived and nappy in hand, and laugh out loud. He was quite happy as well - just got a load off his mind! I lost count of the number of times he pissed on me/his changing mat etc when I changed him - the cold air makes little boys do it when you take their nappies off - I got to be quite a dab hand at circumventing the worst of it with a well-timed baby wipe.

I can understand what you mean about feeling sorry for your ex. I went through a whole range of emotions about mine but now the most abiding one is pity. As you say, they miss out on so much and those times don't come back. More fool him, and you get to enjoy your lovely boy.

Angelelle, that's so good that you get support from your Mum and that you're enjoying your baby's development. It's so special when they start interacting with you, isn't it? Those first smiles are moments to truly treasure.