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Original poster

What is the best way to get out of paying CSA?

58 replies

seaofyou · 24/11/2012 19:57

My ex has not pay maintenance for many years and fled from the court orders twice last 12 months ago. As it is the anniversary of a year of not paying it spurred me to have a look how these fathers get out of paying maintenance!

It took me 3 minutes to find an internet site where a father asks

What is the best way to get out of paying CSA?

The first response....

kill her

Two simple words...first response!

there were several others saying to kill the mother too, one saying 'it's the only way!'

:(

I thought my ex was a rather unique Psychopathic Narcissist who left petrol bomb warnings and kicking my door in when he received a court letter or anything! I was wrong! I am so not alone and so :( this is the easy way for some sick bastards to get out of paying for their children!

Wonder if the deadbeat who wrote kill her was my ex?

OP posts:
kittycat68 · 13/12/2012 09:21

fathers that dont pay child support are not fathers they are sperm donors in my book. Makes me sick how a father can take a mother to court continually for more contact residence orders prohibited steps orders etc claiming to only care about the childs best interests and how much they love them yet refuse to pay child support or rearrrange there finaces in order to only pay a few pounds a week.
Its an absolute disgrace. fathers for justice and the like should be ashamed of themselves for all the free solicitors they give to parents like these.

Helpforyou1 · 13/12/2012 10:22

It should be simple..

50/50 starting point (like in Denmark ) therefore no CSA liability form neither parent? also all the benefits should be split between the parents..

Now if you don?t or can?t deliver 50% of the time, you should pay CSA to the other parent to ?cover? the days you are not caring for your son..

MissKeithLemon · 13/12/2012 11:33

sanityseeker in an old job I had, the company deducted the csa attachment from a non-compliant nrp but never paid it over to CSA (along with not paying employees tax & ni deductions either). The company eventually went bust and I doubt the poor woman who the csa was meant for ever saw a penny Sad as it was never paid to CSA though I think it will remain as arrears.
The CSA don't 'pay' anything themselves (and nor should they) they simply hand over payments received from nrps. It takes the NRP and/or the Employer to comply for the system to work. Ther are many many employers also, who are only too willing to help the NRPs avoid making the payments. Utter twats.

BertieBotts · 13/12/2012 11:34

Nice. That's a chilling thought isn't it? Shock

sanityseeker75 · 13/12/2012 13:02

MissKeithLemon I agree that this does happen but in the end the CSA admitted it was because I was on manual payment system and that basically meant that someone had to actually sit there and see if payment came in the physically pay out to me and they admitted they did not have resources to do this and that is why I hadn't had money.

On a separate note my DH pays CSA to his ex and they phoned us whilst on holiday with the kids saying that they hadn't received payment and if we did not give bank details there and then they would put him on attachment of earnings - he had always paid by standing order and then because he gave details he ended up making two payments and they refused to pay back over payment. I know some people will go to any lengths to not pay and I find this shocking but CSA are also guilty of not being completely honest also :(

MissKeithLemon · 13/12/2012 13:16

Ok sanityseeker I see. Thats bloody shocking Shock. Have you thought about some sort of claim for interest while they were witholding your money? Just a thought.
I'm no fan of the CSA btw, took me over ten years to get a penny for dd via the CSA. To be fair I never actively persued it for years, but still a bit rubbish on their part nonetheless. Still took nearly two years when I did persue it and that was phoning all the time, providing them with info re addresses and employer etc. I knew that he had a decent job with a large national by then though and the attachment of earnings order has so far been working for over a year now.

Bertie its shit isn't it? I have a friend who's ex works for his family firm. They are part of the ruse to pretend he earns bugger all and shaft his own children

Basically an NRP can duck and dive for years on end if they feel like it. I have been told that arrears never disappear though, so its worth keeping claims open in the hope that one day it catches up with them. I read a thread on MSE site once where a lady was receiving hefty maintenance payments for children that were well into their twenties by that time! Iirc she was using the money to buy frivolous luxuries and the like as a big up yours to the Ex paying it Grin

Lookingatclaus · 13/12/2012 13:37

I have an ex like mampam's too. He refuses to pay maintenance, and even refused to get dd some Calpol the other night claiming he didn't have £3 for it. She's getting a Kindle for Christmas though Xmas Hmm. Still, I'm grateful that she is at least getting a gift from him this year as she hasn't for 2 years or for her birthday this year.

kittycat68 · 13/12/2012 15:36

my ex bought a gift for two of the children but not the third (all his kids) last year for xmas cant wait to see what happens this year (not!)!!

BluebellBangles · 14/12/2012 11:43

Ignore all letters and phone calls, and when they eventually track you down (or your ex manages to track you down and inform the CSA as you post all your work details on Facebook Hmm) and contact your employer you simply need to just quit your job and either sign on for a while or work somewhere else and the cycle starts all over again.

iwantanafternoonnap · 14/12/2012 15:32

Does anyone know if they manage to get hold of people if you don't know their address, phone number or email? My ex is in the Army and I don't know where he lives but do know that he gets a pay rise every year and so I want to make sure I get an increase to. I know I am lucky to get anything and it now comes straight out of his wages as he kept messing about but I want to annoy him by getting it increased when his pay goes up every year.

CatchingMockingbirds · 14/12/2012 17:40

If it comes off his wages then wouldn't it just automatically be increased with his wage increase?

CheungFun · 14/12/2012 17:42

It is totally depressing :-( my Dad used to claim benefits and work on the side so he never paid a pennies maintenance. Arsehole!

iwantanafternoonnap · 14/12/2012 18:08

catching that is what I thought but the CSA said I have to request to have it recalculated every year and to do it in August when he has to give the last 3 months so all three show on it. Which will be a pain but worth it even for a few pennies as it will annoy him no end...yep still a tad bitter that he has walked away and only gives what he has too while always boasting about holidays on facebook (one mutual friend on facebook) He is on his 4th 5* holiday this year and that doesn't include the weekends away!!

However, I know no amount of holidays can really make up for losing out on your childs life and one day it will bite him in the fecking arse and it'll be too late to come back into DS life.

CatchingMockingbirds · 14/12/2012 18:55

Sounds like my ex Angry

InNeedOfBrandyButter · 14/12/2012 19:12

iwantanafternoonnap contact the army with his sull name, regiment and number if you have it. They should sort it out for you and pay you direct before paying him.

trustissues75 · 02/01/2013 11:50

Easy

trustissues75 · 02/01/2013 11:52

Quit your job, move to America, refuse to pay maintenance until RP puts dc

trustissues75 · 02/01/2013 12:51

Bloody phone...

Puts dc on plane to states, lie to judge saying rp kidnapped child and apply for full custody and removal if child to united states thus terrifying the hell out of abandoned patent who has no money to fight...job done.

chrystal1234 · 24/09/2014 14:37

my ex hasnt paid child support for 16 yrs . he has his own buisness and refuses to pay . its been to courts but nothing ever happens,he goes and comes out and just keeps appealing . but the csa have done nothing as they told me theres nothing they can do they cant force him to pay .he has a big house car goes on holidays all the time . but never sees his daughter . so if anyone really wants to avoid paying just have your own buisness and keep appealing .and dont hand over any money.

Punmum · 18/11/2017 10:38

Reading through this thread has anyone claiming from the csa ever thought of paying for their own children? It's so easy to make the decision to have a child when you don't have to meet the consequences of paying for them because you can just scrounge from the csa? At least I can hold my head up high and say I pay for my own children without having to force someone to pay, how degrading. I can completely understand the frustration of men trapped by that system which is effectively encouraging irresponsible behaviour and ruining lives. I'm amazed by the number of women who think it's an acceptable thing to do! Have some self respect and pay for your children yourself.

missisipii · 18/11/2017 11:20

If a child had 2 parents
Why don’t both parents pay!
You think that’s a radical idea??

Punmum · 18/11/2017 11:35

I think a system where women just get money no questions asked and with no thought or care for the man's life is crazy. I guess there are some legitimate cases but all too often it's a punishment tool by bitter women to punish the man. Why should the children a man lives with and chose to have suffer? It's a bit like prostitution; man has sex, woman gets paid by man. I know my view is controversial but there is another side to this csa system. It's a disgusting binary system that destroys lives. But no one ever talks about that because it's expected that men should shoulder some responsibility. Responsibility that not all men wanted and had it forced upon them. A woman can choose to either have a baby or have an abortion. That's her right. What about if a man doesn't want that child? No rights. Oh except the right to pay for 20 years. Great system.

ilovesouthlondon · 19/11/2017 09:37

Punmum STFU

Punmum · 19/11/2017 10:20

Sadly that's exactly the uneducated and unproductive response I'd expect from someone who agrees that it's a woman's right to freeload from a man and that's always the right thing. How on earth can a woman who's claiming for a child ever be in the wrong? I'm not going to lower myself to swearing at anyone, because as I said in my earlier post, I can hold my head high and have the self respect from paying for my own children and not expecting someone else to pick up the tab. Clearly from all the bitter posts on here the CSA doesn't make for happy relationships. How lovely that mumsnet is inclusive of all views and people can post their opinion without getting sworn at. Grow up ilovesouthlondon, your view isn't always the right one and if you can't accept people have different ones then you shouldn't be posting. Try to calm down, have some decorum and be happy because it doesn't seem like you are.

CosmicCanary · 19/11/2017 14:44

You have lowered yourself far enough already Panmum there is no lower to go.

It takes 2 people to create a child and the responsibility to raise that child falls to both.
This is not the 1900s and birth control is widley available to both men and women.
If a man does not want a child then it is up to him to ensure he does not impregnate a woman. If abstinence is the only 100% way to do that but he chooses to put his sexual need above that risk then that is his choice. He has not been gorced in anyway.

Why is it you view a mans sexual need above taking responsibility for a child his choices helped create?

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