Nearly burst into tears at a playgroup today - was asked "Does she never see her father then?"

[ATourchOfInsanity]

And got the lump in my throat. Ended up shaking my head and making an 'uh-uh' noise while staring at DD feeling tears pricking. Now, don't get me wrong, I think it is probably for the best he doesn't see her. It was completely his choice as he was trying to avoid paying via CSA and wanted me to produce a legal doc saying he will never see her again if I detach him from all financial responsibility - I refused to do this. However he has apparently been advised not to ask about her at all before the tribunal he has taken us to, to try to wriggle out of payments. It's been 9 months now since he saw her.

I felt like every mum in that room was thinking either 'oh poor girl' or 'how did you pick such a dick?' or 'at least my child gets the benefit of both of us'. I know they probably were all to wrapped up with their own kids, but I was quite shocked at how alone I felt at that point.

What do you do in these situations? Do you have a set line that you feel protected by that explains things? I don't know whether I should even be worrying about explaining things. I tend not to as I can get bogged down in the nasty details once I start Maybe I am just having an off day

Oh well, it's nice to hear that! I watched a doc that said men are usually better at teaching language (not so much fluffy lingo as we use) and teaching them independence (not as likely to help them up a slide, they have to get there themselves; encouraged to take risks), so I almost try to do both. Quite hard sometimes.

Thank you all for replying to my post :)

@ atouchofinsanity my x tried to invent a story that he was exempt from paying maintenance because we'd entered into an agreement whereby he wouldn't prosecute me for my various crimes (leaving him) in return for my not pursuing maintenance!!! no such agreement was ever in place though. He dredged up some email that he believed proved this! I said to my solicitor 'does he think this is relevant? or that it makes him look good ?'. Mad really! I suppose he is just stalling. AS somebody else said I think my x is a client that is managed and steered by his solicitor. His own solicitor must be thinking dickhead for god's sake, pay up and stop being so stupid.

I dread the husband chats too! they're so boring. WHy the fuck would any married woman care how somebody else likes his steak done. ONce I approached a group of mums at the school gate at fathers day and they were all in full chat. They were struck dumb when I joined them. I said to them, "carry on, I have a father, I'm getting him a toblerone. And my children have a father too for that matter! " but I'm not usually so bold. I see them as just other mothers and weird silences like that make me wonder if they see me as some totally different species!