No mummy anymore, should I talk to the kids about mothers day,...................?

[jmg1]

My kids are 7, 5 and 4. As many of you know their mummy died just over 3 year ago and my mum died 3 year ago.

I am at the point when I am often wandering what to say to the kids and whether to talk about their mummy more and things such as mothers day or just leave these issues alone and see what the kids ask. They don't ask much. Two weeks ago ds(7) said 'I miss my mummy' and I just said 'I miss her too'

On the surface they seem to be doing well.

I just need some opinions cause I don't want to overwhelm them but also feel it is nice if they understand more.

Jmg1 I'm so sorry for your loss, I had no idea. My father died when I was 2 and our mother never mentioned him afterwards. I think my two older sisters missed him terribly and I grew up with no idea of who he was or what he was like - I would ask but our mother would never talk about him. I know I would have loved to have had one day to mourn for him, to go to the grave or garden of remembrance and lay some flowers, talk and hear my sisters and mother reminisce. I don't know if that helps. I can't imagine how painful it is for you and your children. Bless you all.

Crikey, posts crossed almost Prufrock

Thanks for your posts, advice and nice comments.

We've had a nice day.

Hopefully dd will be feeling well tomorrow, she managed to eat a bit and has been sipping water.

Glad you had a nice day. It must be difficult,but you sound very strong. Mums and dads on here are aways around to talk to! I think its important to keep your dps memory alive!
Good luck x

Hello everyone - I'm adopting a small child and therefore have no practical parenting skills yet - so take everything I say with a pinch of salt!

When you adopt you have to do preparation courses to enable you to help a child deal with the sense of loss they inevitably have for their birth famiky and one of the techniques is a life book for the child. Its a book with photos, momentos, maps, descriptions of birth family (if you have any) or guesses if you don't. It's something that ideally the children get involved in themselves and it's a great way to talk to them about their past whilst doing something practical.

Have you thought about doing a life book for their mother with the children? It can take several years, adding a bit every month. Get them to draw pictures of her as well as putting in photos. Draw maps of were she went to school, they can write everything they remember about her and so can you. Most adoptees I know treasure their life book for many many years.

You can buy little scrap books and they could have one each.

Good luck.