Being a single parent is not so bad....

[crackcrackcrak]

I have been sitting in my kitchen for an hour, reading mn and eating a meal only of Brie. The shopping is still on the counter, bags still packed. I can only hear the clock tick. Dd is fast asleep upstairs. This would never ever have happened with exp!

I agree. Ds is in the crib next to me. I've eaten a healthy tea that I wanted and I'm mumsnetting and reading without being told off. I've had a lovely bath listening to my music and I've had a great day with my son today. Everything's good.

Wait! You mean you weren't obstructed in any way? Complained at or generally had the fun sucked out somehow? Amazing!

I took dd food shopping after nursery. We played games and sang songs while she sat in the trolley laughing her head off. There was lots of cooing by older people. Shopping was utterly joyless once because exp had tantrums in the shop!

tis good! I am worn out but we have actually had a good school holidays, we've done stuff!! No one floating about on Saturday or Sunday mornings with a hangover moaning that it's too expensive to go out (there was always money for beer!!!!) or that it might rain later and we might get wet! Fantastic!

Camel- yes that too! It's great to just be relaxed and enjoy being with the kids having fun on purpose! Dd has had a great summer and had lots of days out quality time with me and her little friends. I just get ready and we are out of the door - nothing is a problem!

Ex had weird thing about you could only have a day out (cheap or spendy it made no difference) of you'd cooped the kids up for days whilst they watched you do housework. If we has one day out it wax am excuse to deny them for so long it almost wasnt worth it.
Dd watches cbeebies for a bit in the morning and I do laundry/washing up/quick tidy then a bit more afte she's in bed - house is still standing!!!!

Thank you for the positive thread...much needed :)

How did you split up and how long ago crackcrack? Is your ex properly involved with the dc? Great to hear you having fun and being positive.
xx

Hard to say without outing myself but I have thread on otbt. Been separated 6 months.
I used to read the lp threads about it being better as a single mum almost with envy - they were utterly right it is better to be an lp than an abused parent

Re involvement -sort of - £ being paid but big contact issues.

well done you. Pass the Brie

I bloody love it.
Me and ds just go with the flow. We make plans but can change them whenever we want, we have the run of the house!
I don't remember the last time I had an adult argument with anyone (used to happen all the time in a relationship).
When the weather is warm, we spend all our time outdoors and don't bother with housework.
MY spare time is MY spare time.

i love being a single parent would not have it any other way. its ace :)

And I'm not exhausted so life seems infinitely more enjoyable. I juggle dd, a job, I'm heavily pregnant but no one is wearing me out with their crap anymore so I'm actually managing quite well for a change

We leave the house on time and stick to plans as we aren't held back by someone grumping around the house with a hangover. XP missed the DC's first few visits to the swimming pool as he was sleeping off the night before in bed. Ok, these days I might shout a lot in the mornings but we jolly well get out on time and do things.

Never having junk food in the fridge is bliss. And not having a games console is great for the kids, they are 5 & 4 and will still happily make dens and mess about in the garden - I doubt that would happen if they had a dad playing a playstation all day.

And a king sized bed to myself is very nice thankyouverymuch. I am such a bad sleeper that I really don't think I could share a bed with anyone again.

A wonderful positive thread. I love being able to do what I want. If the washing up doesn't get done the same day within 2 hrs of eating it doesn't matter. It's liberating being able to sleep late and feel no guilt, to watch what you want on TV (not that I have one ) and stay up as late as you like. I've bought a new house and I get to choose all the decor. I ate cereal for dinner, and have been MNing for the last 2 hrs. It's wonderful!

I ate cereal for dinner too, woo hoo! And yes, having double bed all to myself is fab, because either I have it all to myself or ds sneaks in for cuddles and there is plenty of room for him.

I love it too!

Meglet - god yes the leaving on time! That used to be backbreaking every day. If I ever tried to hurry exp he would argue about going out at all even to scheduled, paid for activities rather than just be responsible. Dd has not (and will not be) missing a single swimming lesson/any other class she attends and enjoys ever again because her Dad has an attitude problem.
I also have a king sized bed

I could not live with a games console either. I didn't but I did live with someone who thought he loved in an airport therefore required sky news on at all times regardless of how violent/scary/inappropriate the content was for a 2 year old. Now she only ever sees cbeebies and peppa pig

Feck the washing up - it gets done but no, it is not a priority above (insert whatever you like)

I love not waiting for the key in the door with dread and apprehension.
I love not having someone sneer at everything I do, because his mum didn't do it like that.
I love not having to witness Extreme Disney Dadness and Miserable Fuckerness when his kids weren't here.
I love my girls being able to laugh as much as they like, as loud as they like, without having doors slammed in their faces.
I love putting wet mugs straight into the hooks without drying them and leaving milk carton tops on the kitchen counter
I LOVE not Sleeping With The Enemy!!

Life is vair good!

And not having my driving criticised constantly as if he was a paid examiner from my insurance company.

Oh yes, to the driving thing he was a shite, aggressive driver. I am fab :)

We do what we want, when we want - I could never have it any other way now. I watch my kids grow into strong, independent females and feel proud that I've shown them what not to put up with in a relationship!

we all have the same x

sad though actually that some dads never get first dibs on all these wonderful experiences we can enjoy. Some of them dont deserve a nano second of it ( my exh buggered off to thailand abandoning our ds so I am meaning people like this)

but the woman nearly always gets the dc. I do sometimes feel empathy for the dads as I couldn't bear to lose my ds.

I don't like the sense of triumphalism.

Unlikely - my ex had 3 years to get his act together. When you are unable to out the needs/welfare of your wife/child above your own perceived needs of drug use/alcohol/being a dick then the entitlement of enjoying all the amazing stuff about having kids dwindles in my opinion.

Plus my ex does get decent time with dd -more than he would have spent on her one to one than before. She is getting a better deal this way - decent time with her dad but a safe calm home environment that is never disrupted