Going from supervised access to home visits...

[StopBreakingMyStuff]

I'm a little confused about some stuff, hoping someone with similar experience can help.

DS is 2.1, he has seen EXP six times so far, in a contact centre, for 1- 1.5 hours every fortnight. Several of those visits DS had to be taken home after 10 minutes or so as he was screaming etc.

The court have now ordered that the contact centre visits continue for the next 2 months (so 4 visits) for 1.5 hours once a fortnight, then EXP can have DS visit his home.

I am quite worried about this. I don't think DS will know EXP well enough by then to be alone in his home with him. Obviously at the age he is DS can communicate a little, but mostly only in ways that his close family understands. EXP has asked me several times in the contact centre to translate as he cannot understand DS. Also, I have concerns generally about DS being so young. EXP's house could have any number of hazards, and as he obvs doesnt know anything about toddlers he might not see them. EXP has never changed DS's nappy, fed him, given him a drink etc.

Im just scared something will happen to DS. I know some of it is just mother fears at leaving him with somebody I basically don't trust. But tbh I wouldn't let DS go to many peoples houses without me, especially if he didnt know them very well. Also if he takes him out..

Argh. Any advice? Can the court make me let him go so soon?

ask CAFCASS to a) visit you at home and b) visit ex at home. and c) accompany ds on one of the cc visits so they can see fo themselves.

they should have/would have interviewed both you and ex before anyway ?? or was the contact centre ordered without any cafcass invovlement/reports from profressionals ?

I think you should look at ways that you can support your son to have a healthy relationship with his dad, not just look at all of the negatives in the person that he is. You did after all have a child with this man, you didn't seem concerned when you slept with him!?

How about you make sure that your ex actually knows what your son is trying to say by jotting down a few words and maybe having some extra contact before he spends time at his home.

It's a shame that you are not alone in feeling like you are fighting a battle to stop access. Your son won't thank you for that when he is older though, be warned.

Be the bigger person and get some praise by doing what is right. Build a better relationship with the dad and perhaps make a few (reasonable) suggestions about adaptations he could make to his house to make it toddler proof.

I am not fighting access. I just want it to be in a safe place. I hate people who say 'you slept with the guy si you have to let him do whatever he wants to your child's. Obviously I didn't know I would get pregnant, and I happen to not agree with abortion. I am just trying to protect my son.

Carcass have done a report, I will contact them. Thanks for the helpful suggestion.