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Original poster

How much maintenance does you ex provide?

54 replies

muddykittenheels · 19/07/2012 01:08

My soon to be ex H is suggesting £400 per month for 2 teenagers - is this reasonable ? He earns about £65000 per year and I earn about £22000

OP posts:
ToothbrushThief · 19/07/2012 22:07

Zero.

A court order based on CSA calculator in 2009 said £250. He didn't pay. So ... zero

Went back to court to ask that it was registered to make him pay. He made himself unemployed and they said they cannot get money from him so ... zero.

He got another job (lower pay). Went to CSA - they said £200 this time. He didn't pay and said CSA had agreed it needed a review. Contacted CSA who said they were reviewing. 3 months later they were still reviewing and I got ...zero.

He then lost the new job and CSA said he didn't have to pay back pay although he should have been paying the full amount ????????

Unemployed for 9months? so .... zero........

In employment now and CSA have been reviewing and setting a figure since April. Meanwhile ......zero.

I'm underwhelmed.

LadySybildeChocolate · 19/07/2012 22:14

God, what goes through these men's heads? Where do they think the money for shoes/school uniform/food comes from? Angry

MirandaWest · 19/07/2012 23:21

If the NRP moves in with someone else who has their own children, does that reduce the maintenance they would pay for the NRPs children? Was wondering that as I imagine at some point XH will move in with his GF, who has children already.

WildWorld2004 · 19/07/2012 23:45

Zero zilch nada is what my dd gets. My ex moves from job to job n his employers always seem to b unhelpful aswell.

When my ex was paying it was only like £20 a week. Id think yourself lucky u get so much.

ATourchOfInsanity · 19/07/2012 23:52

Recently started a case with CSA. Ex earns £650 roughly a week and we get £96 for one child. Hope that helps. CSA wouldn't take your salary into consideration i don't think. Fairly sure I read it is roughly 15% of their salary if you go via CSA.

FrankWippery · 19/07/2012 23:53

Fuck all for the past 7 months. He had been paying £1600/month since we split two years ago but decided he didn't want to pay it any more after making December's payment. He also hasn't bothered to see our three year old DD since early April either. He is a cunt of the highest order and I wish him nothing but ill will. If I never see him again it will be way too soon. I would dance a happy dance on his grave.

ATourchOfInsanity · 19/07/2012 23:56

Although I prob should mention I haven't seen a penny yet! CSA have been great but he has been doing everything poss to avoid them which has delayed things. Thankfully you get a back payment from the date you call them, so, if he doesn't leave the country or die of liver failure (his honest responses to them and me over last 3 months!) then I should get a lump of back pay too.

STIDW · 20/07/2012 01:03

The effects of children living with the NRP are this. The NRP's assessable income is reduced by 15/20/25% respectively for 1,2 3+ children living in their household before the usual CM calculation. That includes new partner's children from another relationship and natural children the NRP and new partner have together. However, when the NRP earns more than his new partner their tax credits will be added to his income before the calculation. If the NRP earns the same as the new partner half the family credits are added to the assessable income and nothing is added if the new partner earns more than the NRP.

The percentage above will change when the new gross income scheme is introduced later this year.

ToothbrushThief · 20/07/2012 06:38

The reason that my ex didn't pay the figure the CSA set, was because they hadn't taken into account his g/fs 3 DC (not his DC and ironically she is getting maintenance for them)

I couldn't get my head around the fact that her DC got maintenance from 3 men (different fathers so 15% from each one) and mine got their maintenance reduced so their father could support them???

The CSA said this was correct and hence investigated for 3-4 months throughout which he didn't pay....before losing the job and the CSA wrote off the backpay.

On the topic of CSA and backpay - they told me I would not get backpay unless the payments were registered to come through them.

I do feel aggrieved that with one father to your DC with 3DC and you might get 25% whereas 3 fathers gets you 45% and at least if one doesn't pay it's 15% off 45 that you lose. It doesn't seem equitable

CSA do a lot by telephone and they do seem less caustious about what they say (accruacy and honesty) than if they put into print. They admitted it's highly unlikely I'll see money even if they accumulated backpay because they'd only go to court for a substantial sum (>£3000) and even then most men get asked to pay £5 a week

LesleyPumpshaft · 27/07/2012 18:19

XP pays nothing. He jacked his job in to claim benefits and work cash in hand, this was just to make sure he didn't have to pay any maintenance. Wanker Angry

DS is 13 now and I'm not exactly rolling in it. I feel like phoning him up and asking him if he'll constribute something, but tbh there's actually no point. Sad

Scarredbutnotbroken · 28/07/2012 10:11

500 a months that's exp 15%. Makes me sick that dd is worth the minimum Sad

PiratesMolMabel · 29/07/2012 18:33

I get £5.00 a week, doesn't even pay DS's bus fare to school!

ExP gave up job so he wouldn't have to pay - said he'd never pay a penny to me when I left Angry Actually I fled with black eye, split lip & bald patches where he'd pulled my hair out.

Scaryfeet · 29/07/2012 19:52

You are all lucky! My ex pays the grand sum of... 0!! I tried to set up an agreement but he moaned he couldn't afford it, I knew if I went to the CSA he would lie (he is self-employed) and it would affect the kids, so I've just left it as it is.

MikeLitorisRings · 29/07/2012 20:59

£15 A week for 2 dc, 11yo & 8yo.

I'm supposed to be greatful that I get that. Csa calculated £5 per week as he works part time and his new dw has 2dc.

Like a previous poster I get pissed off that the maintenace she receives isnt taken into account. Let alone the fact that x works part time on the books and the rest cash in hand. Funnily enough I started a thread here last year and was flamed for saying that.

LucieMay · 31/07/2012 23:38

A big fat zero! Never had a penny off him in six years and I never plan to pursue him either.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 31/07/2012 23:49

It really sticks in my throat that xh has a reduction from the amount he has to pay in CM for dd because his wife has two children for whom she is also receiving CM.
He does pay, pretty much on time and as per the basic CSA calculation. However, we're currently having a disagreement over school trip fee's and passport. I don't believe they should be included in the regular monthly CM as they're not necessities. His words "I already pay enough, it's not up to me to tell you what to spend the money on but any contributions towards any of her expenses should come from the money you already receive". Nice. He also doesn't mind if she doesn't go on the trip (which will not happen, I'm working 55 hour weeks right now to afford it), as "we'll just have to deal with the fall-out".

gettingeasier · 01/08/2012 20:31

Every case will be individual but the % being quoted are right I think.

A wise MNer once urged me to make sure I stood my corner re finances because once you've agreed terms and divorced thats it. I felt somehow mercenary but am glad the DC and I are secure as xh never tires of telling me

I am grateful that xh isnt mean and has stuck to his word of doing the right thing financially

doinmummy · 01/08/2012 21:52

Nothing. Not a penny. He never has. He's on benefits but has 3 lodgers.

moomoo1967 · 03/08/2012 14:43

Precisely £0.00 in 10 years

moomoo1967 · 03/08/2012 14:46

Case is with the CSA but he deliberately works cash in hand so that he doesn't get collared for the other two children too. I have one DD age 12 and work part time, studying with the OU too and yes it is a struggle

Numberlock · 03/08/2012 15:01

My ex doesn't provide any maintenance, never asked him for or expected any (nor has he from me). We have our boys 50-50 split time-wise and share equal costs of school trips, major expenditure etc.

Not sure how our salaries are in relation to each other's these days, we've been divorced ten years.

zara206y · 07/08/2012 12:21

My x wanker pays me £196 a month. He is on i am guessing 30-40 thousand a year. He has my son every other weekend and we share the hols almost. (i have more than him). He is now moved out from living with his new shag piece who incidenlty had two other kids to other men, which my x said he was supporting. SO shall i inform the CSA he has left them and now has more money to himself? WIll it make any difference? He pays nothing else...wont help with school trips,clothes etc has NEVER asked is our son needs anything. I am on my own and working on about £12000 a year. What a easy ride they have!

MakeItALarge · 07/08/2012 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zara206y · 07/08/2012 22:13

I would rather he paid nothing then i would stop his access to be honest! I HATE HIM

PissyDust · 07/08/2012 22:41

If you claim through the csa how are the payments made? If the csa claim through his employers payroll will the company deduct straight from wages or are you still dependent on him paying it to you?

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