what does the term "single mother" say about you?

[Nightynight]

When I was talking to a recent new acquaintance (unmarried, childless), I mentioned that I was divorced and had 4 children. I hadn't said anything about my job etc.
She said "Oh, so you're a single mother then?"
I said yes, but afterwards, I wondered what exactly she meant.
Do you think she automatically assumed I was on benefits?
Does the term "single mother" carry any associations to you?

I made the choice to be a single mum if you count keeping the baby rather than aborting, though for me personally it wasn't really a choice.

I find it harder i think dd being from a one night stand than from a "failed relationship", in terms of what people might think. (I also wonder what the hell i'll tell dd when she's older). But on the other hand i am in the very easiest position i could be in, dd's dad lives abroad, we get on very well and have good email contact, he sends presents every christmas & birthday etc ,i am very lucky not to have horrible hassles with an ex.

Not sure what it says about me yet, too soon to say i think.

Knackered is the first word that springs to mind.

Yep, I'd go along with that!

Jamsam asked if anyone had chosen to be a single mother. Yes I'm adopting this year as a single mother at the grand old age of 41. You can't get much more single than that!

Hi, I'm new to the site and this is the first thread I've read. I'm a 'single mother', I have a 7 month old daughter and I get very embarrassed about it, not about her but about the situation. She is the best thing that ever happened to me but I dread people asking about her dad. He's not around and I doubt he ever will be and I always worry about what I'm going to tell her when she's older. I have amazing support from family and friends but I feel the same as mummypumpkin. I graduated last year but not working as yet, I'm claiming benefits and I hate it. Have to say though, you have all cheered me up!

I think it is very much down to your state of mind and your vulnerabilities as to how the label makes you feel.

I used to feel like it was a message to the world that i couldn't keep a man, or an advert to the local community that he had run off with a beautiful woman. Maybe even that i was obviously slightly thick and my children weren't getting all they need.

Now i just think that it shows i work my arse off and can juggle a million things quite confidently.
Nothing ever to be ashamed of.

I'm a 'sahm' and don't feel the least bit of
shame for it.

It concerns me that the role of 'stay at home
parents' is so undervalued generally. Not least because the very term is innacurate (at least in my case) - my pre school children and I are rarely at home. We're out and about every day, learning all sorts about life, together. It's joyous, in my opinion, to share this time with them and I wont be forced (by shame or practicalities) back to work at this point in their lives.

I find it ironic that people with partners who work and earn enough for the family to survive on a single wage, don't tend to be considered 'lazy' 'thick' etc. They tend to be considered 'lucky'. Why? They are, after all, just another set of people surviving on someone elses money.

This thread has really cheered me up :)
Single mum to me is an achievement although many narrow minded people fail to see this.
Im managing as a full time student with my ds (2.5) and am looking forward to going where i want us both to, wherever that may be...