their dad doesn't care about them at all

[Amitolamummy]

My ex was emotionally abusive and a rubbish father really. He was good at the public act, still is, but underneath that he only cares about himself. I'm just feeling sad for my son's that he doesn't care about them. Our youngest is 9 months so changing all the time, but he isn't interested. They are doing so much better without him around, but they deserve a dad and I feel so guilty that they don't have one. I feel to blame for having children with him and whenever I see loving caring dads I wish they could have that too

sorry to hear this
Bumping for you.

I have experience of your situation, with my 2 DSs, and felt exactly the same as you when they were little.. but it's not your fault you know, please please don't feel guilty!

Your boys will do just as well in life with such a loving caring mum as you, honestly they will.

My DS, 23, is happy, has done really well academically, is balanced and caring.. i could go on.. but at the end of the day, not having a caring father around hasn't held him back at all. We've talked it over many times and the whole dad thing honestly doesn't bother him.
DS2 is 14 and although he sees his dad once a year or so (after years of nothing) it doesn't affect him either, he's too busy getting on with his life.
I am telling you this as i can see how things turn out years later, and believe me it's all good.

You can see that your DSs are doing better without they're dad around. Male input can be achieved from other family members and friends, you are their constant source of love care and security, and it is enough, it really is..

Thank you Jellykat, that is very reassuring :)
They will see their dad over the weekend but my 4 yr old is far more interested in when he will see his little girlfriend. Its sad to see how poor their relationship really was and I do wonder if he will keep bothering with them as they get older. I don't have family and my ex's haven't bothered seeing them at all since we split, so it really is just the 3 of us. They both seem quite happy though, i guess i'll see how they are after seeing him :/