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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Where would you put the maintenance money?

68 replies

Emmielu · 07/04/2012 19:45

After a rather large argument with the ex, he has finally (after 5 years) agreed to paying CM. Eventhough it will be £5 a week to me that is still something & a lot better than what he currently does for DD atm. (Nothing.) We had a "debate" over where the money will go. He assumes i will have the money & use it to contribute towards DD's lunchbox's for school but refuses to pay in the holidays as "she doesnt need anything" then. He then decided that he puts money straight into DD's trust fund account which again is a great idea but now im confused. Some people say that the money should be given to the main caring parent to help cover costs of looking after their child. Others say, put it in a savings account for the child.

Where would you put the money? Do you think it should be spent on feeding the child, school uniform costs etc or should it go into a savings account?

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purpleroses · 09/04/2012 11:10

They won't take his bill into consideration though - they just apply a fixed percentage, but unless his bill are very high it should be something he can afford.

If he has cash in hand work that the JobCentre don't know about, then the CSA are very unlikely to know about it either, so it may well just be the £20

Original poster

Emmielu · 09/04/2012 11:12

The jobcenter put him in that job for 30 hours voluntary work, that then turned into paid work one saturday a week which is why i think they cut his benefits. or one of his benefits.

OP posts:

karinajack · 09/04/2012 11:23

Take him to the Csa just for being a dick! How does he expect you to do her school meals for £5 a week? And in the school holidays she starves does she? My dad left my mum with 3 kids when I was 14 my sisters are both younger but she managed for a couple of month and then really struggled so she contacted the Csa as she had no contact with him. They got in touch fairly quickly however after they were married for 18 years he wanted a DNA test!!
My sisters have seen him a couple of times in 9 years and he is still a complete nobhead who spends all his money n alcohol!

Good luck with getting what you deserve and spend it however you want! How men can walk out on their flesh and blood is beyond me !

SuePurblybiltFromChocolate · 09/04/2012 11:32

Agree with CSA. What a knob.

Dee03 · 09/04/2012 15:32

I wish I'd gone to the csa 9 years ago about my xp

clam · 09/04/2012 15:53

What a twat. Who the hell does he think should support her? You and he created a child together but that basically it's your problem to keep her clothed and fed and with a roof over her head, and that he's doing you a favour by bestowing the princely sum of £20 a month for her. What does he think a child lives on, thin air? Supposing you were to "contribute" what he does, £20 a month. That's £40 altogether! Really? He reckons that should be sufficient?

As I said, twat.

Foxy800 · 09/04/2012 21:19

mine goes into my bank account once a month every month which I then take out and use on clothles etc for dd.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 09/04/2012 22:58

Fucking twat. I bet he's panicking now. That can only mean he's lying because if he were truthful he would not be worried as the CSA can't take more than his earnings allow. Jeez, what a pathetic tosser. It makes me really when NRPs think children live of thin air.

TeaTeaLotsOfTea · 09/04/2012 23:47

From what I gather (dont quote me)

The CSA take 15% of his income (not sure if its net or gross) for your DD and then the rest is his to pay his bills etc.

In the governments eyes your DD's needs come first over his bills.

He's panicing because he's lying and he will be found out.

He also can't dictate to you how its spent either.

I remember having a bit of a row with my sister about this.
Her ahem "delightful" boyfriend was not giving his ex actual maintenance but buying his son toys and clothes. My sister said that his ex would go on nights out with the maintenance. My point was yeah so she's spent all her money on maintaining the child and she has a right to free time as she's the resident parent. And what if he didn't need toys and clothes but he needed food and heating??!!
My sister has since learnt that said delightful boyfriend is just a tight twat because she now has DD to him and he's the EX.

clam · 10/04/2012 09:50

She needs to go through the CSA because not ony will they ensure the correct amount is taken from him, but also he will not be able to stop it at will because "she doesn't need school lunches this week," and other crap like that.

Andy6 · 14/04/2012 17:08

It is disgusting. Still a lot better then what I get from my ex which for the last 4 years has been nothing even when she worked and got over £90,000 in the divorce settlement and her parents paid for her own place via a special trust! It is not surprising really as although she worked she never paid a penny towards anything but more than happy to take me to the cleaners and even take my gran's and dad's home and money who both died a year after we spilt and I was the innocent one! Some people are nasty and self-centred beyound belief but they nearly always pay for their deeds in the end. Your children will know when they get older just how much your ex carer and supported his DD and will make their judgement then just like I'm sure my children will do with my ex. Good luck.

Original poster

Emmielu · 16/04/2012 15:39

He's now saying the job center have cut his benefits & he's lost his job. He didn't know until today & went to the job center & they said he has to wait for the letters to come through saying they have cut or taken it & a reason why. I thought they had to give you notice before stopping it?

OP posts:

purpleroses · 16/04/2012 15:44

Only explanation i can think of is that he's not turned up for work or somehow cocked things up at work so that he's been sacked - therefore loses job and gets benefit cut because it's considered to be his own fault.

If he'd lost his job for any other reason (ie not his own fault) then he wouldn't have his benefits cut.

Original poster

Emmielu · 16/04/2012 18:29

Still isnt going to stop me. Nice of him to tell me but wont make a difference.

OP posts:

Original poster

Emmielu · 16/04/2012 19:43

He left his job so he tells me because he was being underpaid. That explains the benefits stopping.

OP posts:

purpleroses · 16/04/2012 20:45

Yes, it does. Silly twat

Make it clear that you still expect the £5. His problem how he finds it.

Original poster

Emmielu · 16/04/2012 21:48

Exactly, he chose to leave his job there's nothing I can do about that. It's my job to look after our daughter & his stupidity isn't going to make me roll over & let him take control.

OP posts:

AdelaideAussie · 16/04/2012 22:22

If he left his job voluntarily he's likely to be sanctioned ( benefits stopped ) for 6 months, he'll have to apply for crisis loans to survive on.

He wont be made to make payments by the CSA while not getting any benefits

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