lone mothers and employment

[mia90]

Hi, I'm doing some research for my university project on lone parents and unemployment. I would like to know what you think are the barriers lone parents face in gaining suitable employment. For example access to childcare, suitable working hours and financial situation.
I have posted something similar before and had a few good responses, however I would appreciate some more feedback. Thank you!

Im currently looking for a job with more hours - i currently work 6 hours a week over the weekend and obviously i need and want more.

The biggest barrier for me is childcare, and the work times - for example i've seen a 18 hour contract job today, was perfect until i saw the actual hours yeah it did include weekends, but also one day in the week starting at 7:30am, not with a 7 year old to get to school and what about the school holidays?!?!

Most jobs i have found state they want the candidate to be "flexible" well that's me out of the window straight away.

and as for the single mother factor - one of the managers where I am at now makes a big deal out of it! when really it shouldn't be! the stigma against single parents needs to be lifted too, just because we are single parents does not mean we are incapable! i actually think its just a symbol of how strong and successful we are

To paraphrase a post from elsewhere:

There are some real issues with childcare for the lone parent.

1. Yes, you can claim up to 70% in childcare tax credits. That leaves 30%+ to pay. And 30%+ of a lot of money remains quite a lot of money.

1. Whole day fees. A lot of nurseries and settings require a full day fee or session fee regardless of how little time your child actually needs to be there. You can end up paying full time fees when in a part-time job.

1. Availability. It is very hard to find childcare out of hours. Most of it - the kind that is registered with Ofsted/LA and for which childcare tax credits are applicable - runs from 8am to 6pm. A lot of work currently available is shift work, eg 6am starts or late shifts.

I work FT in a reasonably well-paid professional job. It's nigh on impossible - the long hours, early starts to get to the airport, overnight travel etc are all only made possible by relying on my ex-H. If he was unwilling to help, there would be no way on earth I could do my job because I couldn't get childcare for the long, unpredictable hours I work. And I only really get by because I'm lucky enough to have a great boss who looks at what I do, not how many hours I take to do it, and doesn't fuss if I work from home when my son is sick.

It's virtually impossible to find a well-paid senior job which is anything less than FT. The alternative is a 'junior' low paid PT role which would barely cover the childcare costs (and probably still end up working a FT workload). So, my son spends long hours at daycare, we spend very little time together during the week and he has separation anxiety as a result.

I have no idea how other LPs manage it.

I ended up being one of the lone parents whose Ex wanted no part to play in caring for his own DCs at all. I ended up having to take a PT role at a senior level but for a junior salary. Even that required far too much juggling when they were youngrer - even if one of them were off school ill for a day, the whole house of cards came tumbling down.

Frankly, it has been horrendous, and has made me ill.

All Of the above. But also the sheer relentlessness of it
Working 5 days full time is hard enough, but when you have all the cooking, cleaning, washing, being the taxi to activities, the bedtime routines etc all becomes exhausting.

When you have no-one to hand over to just to have a break it does make you wonder why you bother. Especially when the holiday cover works out to be more than I earn in a week!

Lack of suitable childcare.

Lack of term time only jobs.

DS has SN so even though he's 13 he still requires childcare, particularly during school holidays. There is nothing suitable locally as he has quite severe needs and would need someone with qualifications and experience in his SN, as well as being absolutely reliable as DS can't cope with a change of staff.

DS often gets sent home from school due to his issues, so I'd need any work to be very flexible in case I need to leave suddenly. There are also regular meetings and training sessions related to disability and SEN that I need to attend, plus regular reports to write and analyse, so I'd need a job that would allow me to have time for those.

At the moment, I spend my time when DS is at school as an opportunity to run errands, follow up paperwork, and focus on my own needs, like going to the gym and doing creative arts. That's important for my wellbeing as I can't get time to do that at any time when DS is out of school. So if I started working during school hours, I'd need more respite to allow me time to do the things that I currently do during those hours.

Financially, we get additional benefits as I'm a Carer and disability tax credits, so it's harder for a wage to outweight the benefits we get currently, especially when you add in various means-tested charitable grants etc.

Yes to what dynamoboy said as well, I also have a child with SN.

What DollyTwat said, and add in the bastard politicians, media whores and arseholes generally who think it is somehow fun or appropriate to slag off 'single mums'; and I reserve special venom for Headteachers who make snide passive-aggressive remarks that they would not make when discussing a similar issue or supposed infraction to a couple.

Well, just in case you're still checking for replies, mia90, I can add my bit of misery as a working LP. I worked PT for about 5 years. It didn't pay off. I would have been better off and less stressed not working. The pay was shite, the rent ridiculous, so I depended on housing benefit, WTC and CTC.

It was a total mess. I still wonder whether it was incompetence or a subtle form of bullying. During those five years I was unable to establish how much I was really entitled to. One year I had a total of 14 tax credit award notices with different amounts. Three years in a row I received a letter just before Christmas telling me I had to pay back between 1500 and 3000 pounds.

I was nearly screwed over by council tax and just about managed to get around jail. Thankfully, I kept the paper work, so I was able to prove that they had messed it up. I had handed the docs in 4 times (with photocopy and receipt) and they waited about 3 years and then sent a bailiff. There was a note on my files telling them to send paperwork to an address unknown to me. I knew that because I persuaded a guy who was obviously new there to give me a copy of the files. It was really dodgy and worrying. Most people probably wouldn't have kept those receipts. I dread to think how many times they do that kind of thing. Frightening.

The worst incident was about 1 year later. It still sends a chill down my spine. The agency messed around with documents to make it look like I was defrauding. I remember insisting on a photocopy of the documents I handed in. They sent it via fax to some other office and I wanted the fax header to be on the photocopy. They wanted to give me a silly little receipt stating 'documents handed in'. Thank God I insisted. I actually refused to leave until a sulking officer agreed to give me the copy. The office they sent it to then actually manipulated the paperwork. I'm still horrified. I was able to prove that I hadn't done anything wrong. I tried to report them via a 'benefits fraud' phone number. As expected, you can't even report them. When I went to CAB they told me I wasn't the only one. Apparently it had something to do with fraud targets. The case worker there told me they had even had a suicide.

Housing benefit regularly asked for up-to-date paperwork and bank statements. That always meant they froze benefits and it always caused a delay (even though my circumstances hadn't changed).

Needless to say it was a nightmare whenever my daughter was ill and I was put under pressure by my employer. I didn't have enough money to socialise and still find the isolation unbearable.

The lack of child care and the costs ... I don't think I need to mention that to anyone here. It would have been virtually impossible to go full-time. If you don't have family nearby, you are really screwed.

In total, I spent about 2 years just waiting for money. Even my first employer, after becoming LP, didn't manage to pay me on time. I waited 3 months for my first pay. One of my colleagues, also a LP, had cancer and worked from home for a while. She didn't get paid for over half a year. It's criminal. Absolutely outrageous. WTF do they think we live off?

I've had about 2 weeks proper holidays over the last 10 years. I'm bloody exhausted, lonely and totally disillusioned. The only thing I think can make a real (financial) difference to my life now is probably setting up my own business.
It's absolutely infuriating when people rant on about lone parents not wanting to work. Then again, it probably doesn't matter whether you work or not. They'll rant about you anyway. You left your partner and you shall suffer.

Honestly, it all makes me want to turn criminal. I can still hardly believe how bad it was. I made the terrible mistake of telling some friends about it. I think they thought I was making it up or I was the kind of person who attracts trouble or something. I still have a box with some of that paperwork. I'm still tempted to upload it and name and shame all the bastards I had to deal with.

Employers being quite nasty when you get called away mid shift. Childcare being expensive. Employers wouldn't take me on once I mentioned I have epilepsy. If the interviews are sent via jobcenter you don't tend to get them. The strain it has on kids. DD hated me working summer hols to the point where she'd cry when I had to leave. It was heart breaking. I felt like a bad mum.

Arrrrrrg! This thread makes me soooooo angry! It makes me laugh that last year after the riots David Cameron said we need more dads around and all I could think was "Errrr or you could stop screwing over and marginalizing single mothers."

I would love to work but can't find anything that is decent and not full time. And the salary would have to be significant to make up for the loss of benefits and the cost of childcare. I am very good at my job but I feel like I have been turned invisible and shoved to the side.

I don't know why there aren't tax breaks for companies who provide on site childcare - how much of a difference would it make to parents to be able to have lunch with their kids - not to mention the time commuting together. Childcare (& the offsted only thing) is crazy.

I expected to take a bit of a step backwards in my career by having a child - I didn't think I would have NO career.

Sorry for the rant but I hate how women are becoming second class citizens at the moment!

I work p/t doing admin and have done since my dc's were 3 & 1 (they're 5 & 3 now).

Lack of employer flexibility. My job involves minimal contact with other people, no phone calls, no e-mails and can be done as and when. My boss said it would be possible to do it on compressed hours, but other members of staff would whinge if they couldn't get the same benefits . So I'm currently stuffed because my boss doesn't want to rock the boat.

Not having flexi-time is a fucking nightmare (I had it in a previous job) If the dc's are ill and I have to leave early I then have to make up the time the next day when I've probably been up half the night with calpol / cleaning sick / dashing to the gp's chemists. If I had flexi-time I'd be able to accrue some hours that I could then use up when the dc's are sent home from school/ nursery early. My mum has the dc's when they're ill but I've had to take un-paid leave a couple of times when she's been busy.

Childcare. It was fine when the dc's were both at nursery as it was open all year round. Now ds is at school my mum will have to have him in the holidays and I'll have to take un-paid parental leave some of the time. And yes, we might get 70% paid for but 30% of a stoking great big nursery bill every month is still a lot of money.

Health problems. I'm costing the NHS a few quid as I'm burnt out (and I'm a pretty healthy person). I get blood tests, consultant treatment for my IBS (I'm 'nice' and thin these days) and the odd diazepam as I simply can't wind down. Luckily my employer has to let me go to the medical appointments, but I wasn't this ill until I started working as a LP.

When I applied for my job I said I was a LP (who has some family support) and I still got the interview. They knew what they were taking on when they employed me, so far I haven't had any hassle from them.

And work isn't the answer to meeting adults as some people would have you believe. Funnily enough I work when I'm at work, not stand around gassing. I don't get a lunch break as I have to leave to pick up DS from school. As a result I hardly get to talk to people and socialise 2/3 times a year. People might moan about feeling isolated at toddler groups / being a SAHM but bloody hell at least I could see people if I did that. My life revolves around dashing to school / nusery / work / supermarket etc. TBH I've accepted I'm not going to be able to enjoy my dc's very much and just have to bring them up as well as possible and hope I'm in one piece in 18yrs time!

as amberleaf said. Lack of term time jobs. I thought I could be a dinner lady (and study) when ds started school. But dinner lady hours aren't 16hrs a week so I'd have been screwed on the working tax credit / childcare tax credit costs. Only SAHMs with partners who don't have to worry about tax credits can be dinner ladies AFAIK (slightly bitter about this TBH ).

Childcare.

I work full time and have done since they were born (barring 8 weeks of maternity leave).

Like Snorbs I am in a position where my career will never recover from the hit of becoming a single parent. I have no family around to help out so am 100% reliant on professional childcare. All well and good and I am delighted with the child care I have organised except for the fact that it means I need a lot of time off to cover health care appointments and sick children, since CMs etc cannot cover this.

I am under no illusions that I have only kept my job because my boss is so understanding and flexible. I am treated exceptionally well where I am and earn a fair wage for what I do, but I am working way beneath my abilities in order to keep juggling work with being the sole parent.

At the same time, because the childcare element of WTC is cut from 70% as soon as you start earning more than full-time minimum wage, I am losing a huge proportion of my income in childcare. Things aren't as bad now DC are in school (though there are still 14 weeks of full days to cover, as well as after-school hours) but at one point when my DC were pre-school age I was literally sacrificing food in order to make ends meet. It still costs me about £7000 a year even with them both in school though.

4 out of 5 working mothers (combining both single and coupled mothers) rely on family and friends to provide the vast majority of their childcare. Only 1 in 5 uses professional childcare exclusively. I don't know what the breakdown is for fathers who are lone parents or the secondary earner, but I suspect it would be similar.

I am effectively stuck in my role, I was lucky enough to be "allowed" to return to work 4 days a week. Any positions in my company are pretty much full time or 1-2 days p/w which isn't financially viable. My commute is 2 hours round trip each day so I see my DD for approx 1 hour Monday-Thursday. DD is in nursery. £48.95 a day. Its painful. Kids eat, I dont. I am guilty of sending both DD and DS (7) to Nursery and School with temperatures etc, as I cant afford the leave (I get 20 days per year) and if I were to take time off to look after either, it would be unpaid. I have a laptop and company phone, but working from home at my grade is not permitted. How many lone working mothers have had to call in sick themselves, to cover their DCs, I wonder? I know I have. I have bosses who will disappear for half days to attend sports days/plays etc, I have to take it as leave, which results in me missing alot of DS's school activities. Sorry, bit of a rant. Just having one of those days :(

Thank you all so much for these responses. They have been extremely helpful to me whilst writing this project. I'm always interested in reading more responses so if anyone has any more thoughts and feelings on this issues it would be greatly appreciated.