In mid pregnany, 2 small children and facing single life, anyone want to join me in this journey and support each other?

[himynameisfred]

Hi, is anyone else in a similar situation who wants to share asdvice or support.
Even on practical things, like what help there is, etc.

Come say hi! :)

Hi sillywmama sorry to hear you're feeling stressed, maybe don't tell exP any of your plans so he can't try and muscle in on them? I agree with you, I'd certainly not want him coming to playgroup, just stay really calm and explain that when you have spoken to your lawyer and planned access/shared parenting/however you're going about it, he will have his access set in stone and can start from there. Would make things easier on you, and keep it mature and rational, when you just want to kick him in the head

I am trying so hard to focus on the good things, like being a single parent is twice (or maybe four times?!) as hard, BUT you are the one they turn to usually, you get to reap the rewards of that hard work, all without some loser dragging you down. It does help to see that you would do the same as I am, I think every reply has said the same thing too! eg. get rid of him and enjoy life.

But seeing as he's still here, I admit I've wavered, thought it's nice to have him come home and take over a bit with the DDs, he's being super helpful becasue he knows hes utterly in the wrong though so it's all bullshit really. In fact I might look right now at property-to-let websites in the area and see what's available and what he can afford, to spur me on a bit. Dragging it out like this is incredibly stressful!

How far gone are you in your pregnancy? Im 30wks today, not long now, eeek

I'm nearly 4 months. So far just feeling extremely tired but that's probably the emotions as well. I have SPD but it's not kicked off as badly as I feared it would, yet. I sympathise with him being in the house :( that's a really hard situation. I don't know yet if XH will move out when I go 'home' in 10 days. I want him to, but I don't know if he has anywhere to go. It is utter bullshit, I agree.

I spoke to a lawyer to get my facts straight and have to face meeting him tomorrow to talk about the basics (money, access etc) which just makes me feel sick sick sick. He still hasn't said anything about the fact that he has been shagging someone else, except to tell me (14 hours after I found out) that me and DS would be 'fine without him' and that he couldn't have told me about her before because he was 'heartbroken' about the possibility they might not get to be together. No apology, no regret, no remorse. Nothing in fact that would make me see him as remotely human. He has only asked after DS once, by email, as an afterthought, in the last 2 weeks.

I feel exhausted by the whole situation and just wish I could get rid of him as easily as he feels he can get rid of us. But I want my kids to have a dad. Even if he is a shitty selfish prick who was more heartbroken about not getting laid with his OW than he is about not being around when they grow up. I mean, seriously, what a fucking stupid thing to say to me. Think it, fine. But say it? Within a day of being found out? I wish I could be as heartless and self-obsessed as him.

Thank god for the kids I'm not :(

Hello! Can I join? Finally separating, i have a 30month old and 12 month old but I found out about the affair while pregnant. Its taken me this long to work through everything but now the flat is nearly sold, I found somewhere great to live and things looking up!

But frankly quite terrified about the next steps - how to work out shared parenting, whats best for the babies, working full time....

And eg about timing, I mean where I live my little boy will start school soon - wont it be too much if I move house as well? Even if down the road... I don't know! Just keep feeling guilty about embarking on a separated life and the potential impact on my lovely LOs...