Shall I contact the CSA?

[HappyMumof2]

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Why will you not be better off? Are you working or on benefits? If on benefits, you have no choice but to involve the CSA. Also, it will do your daughter's self-esteem a lot of good if she finds out in the future that her father helped to fund her upbringing. Think how she would feel if she found out that his sole contribution was the occasional visit and £10.

I would contact them - if you claim benefits they normally make you provide details anyway(?)

Got lost when you started talking about not getting much and them keeping some(?) but think I have got wrong end of the stick.

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i have a 8y old dd1 when i found out that her father was expecting a baby with his new partner i contacted them asap. just for the fact that , yes, i was peed off that he didnt provide for my dd1 but that his new partner had quit work so he was supporting her and spending money on a new baby when he already had a child that he took no responsibility for . petty or not i dont see why my dd1 should of missed out
i have been getting money for about 9 months now and although im not on benefits , and i get to keep the money , you may not.
regardless , when he got you pregnant he had a responsibility to provide emotionally and financially for that child and whoever gets the money he needs to know that he cant keep breeding and disregarding the children or child he already has . if you feel that getting any money from him or he will get nasty then csa are great at doing it for you as i have found out.

i know this may sound harse but it really makes me angry that men seem to be able to have a child then move on and forget the responsibilities that they have left behind, your daughter has a right to some of his money and if he cant afford it then TUFF he shouldnt of had any more children
ok ok ok rant over please forgive me but this subject is close to my heart and i have had to fight for my child

also do it now else it will take csa ages to contact him, you will only get paid from the day they contacted him
hth xx

didnt you have to fill in a csa form on back of IS form ? normally they tell you to provide as much info on your exP as poss unless you considered it to cause the child distress by them contacting exP , even if you didnt you could always say that you did and you didnt have any choice ?

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phone them any way give them all the info you can and then you have peace of mind that you have done your best for your dd even if the selfish race could men cant .
they will be able to contact him and get the money for themselves - at the end of the day they are providing for his child you would of thought that they would of wanted some money back from him seeing as they are such tight arse
let me know how you get on x

arghhhh
grrrrrrr

hand his name gladly over to the CSA
or you could blackmail him and ask for extra pounds per week or you will contact CSA

make him squirm
good luck
xxx

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try asking him to pay for a new coat or something , if he agrees then subtly mention that i wouldnt hurt if he gave you some money each month to help out.
be nice and calm at first and see what his reaction is then if he turns funny with you just tell him that the csa have been in contact with you and you have to tell them his details .
explain that it would be in his best interest to offer maintenance volunteeraly else he could end up paying a awful lot more?

try to find out his address and work place first , thats all they need to know (csa) then hit him with it

csa can make things worse and ruin the relationship you have with him or your childrens relationship with him. he should pay something towards his kids obviously but it depends on yours and his situation, everyone nees to be fair

doesnt sound like ex has a relationship with either of them ( or on/off one with dd)
like i said ask him calmly to pay for a coat or something? if he does get narky then explain you had to fill out the form when you clamed IS and they have only just got into contact with you
it for your dd sake
i think thats is fair

yeap, if he refuses to even buy a coat when he hasn'y been paying you anything then maybe CSA is only way, I have experience from the other side of things and CSA actually helped ud in the end.

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how long have you been on IS? they dont normally contact you their no. is 08457133133 even if you dont get to keep any or much of it it is the principle

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only asked because if they were going to contact you they would of by now , give them a ring and explain .

Happymumof2,

I hope my experience will help you....I split with Dp before I found out I was pregnant and then we got back together after 4 months after deciding to give our baby a chance of a family.
When our DD was 11 months old I received a letter to inform us that he had fathered another child and she is now a few months youger than DD.
He has no contact with this child as agreed with the mother and we have another baby due in a few days.
However I still maintain that the adults actions are not the fault of the childs and although we could do with the extra money (he pays about £250 a month)I would never resent nor stop the rights of this other woman being able to provide for her child. When I was facing pregnancy alone I would have done the same.
Therefore, i agree with you and think it's a principle thing just as much as a money thing it is not your worry to care about how bad off they will be...just look after yourself and DD. Any mother knows it's hard enough bringing up kids and the GF surely knows he has another child and would want the same for your dd as she would expect for her own kids. if not she's a cow and you shouldn't care then anyway!!!

happymum,
i have been trying to get dd's father to pay up for two years. (well nearly) and i can safely say that the CSA are completely useless. if you are going to go to them make sure, from day one that you:

make a copy of any forms you fill in.
make a record of any phonecalls you make to them and the information you give. dates, times, who you spoke to etc. keep your phone bills and highlight the calls.

the csa have put me through hell with their mistakes and im still no closer to getting anything from them. i wont write too much here for fear of a rant but have you still got my email address? if not cat me and i can tell you the whole story and the ways the s**ts use to get out of paying.

YES!!!!!! CONTACT THE CSA & MAKE HIM TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS CHILD!!!!!!- if I hadn't fannied about for 13 years worrying about being "fair" and the impact on XDHs subsequent children (by women various) then I'm pretty damn sure my DD would be getting more than the £1.75 per week she was finally awarded at the grand age of 15(and yes, the decimal point is in the right place!!) as I was working full time & he wasn't I thought I was being "nice" by letting him see her regularly but not pressuring him to have financial responsibility. Probably for fear of her not having any relationship with him. Mug mug mug mug mug!

(think I should have parped myself on that one - sorry (pg & hormonal) - will go away & calm down )

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