Any men answer this? Do you think of future financial burden of dating a lone parent?

[waitingfornaru]

I'm hoping for a male point of view on this too.

When you start dating a woman who is a stay at home mum and learn she has very young children (eg age 4 and under), right from the off, surely it must cross your mind, if this relationship develops and you move in together, as the working man, you are going to take on the lion's share of financial responsibility, because she will lose many benefits if she moves in an employed partner.

Yes, she may return to work again once the youngest starts school, but until then, it's a big financial burden on the man, surely, enough to put him off moving in thus developing the relationship?

After time of course when in love this will not be an issue, but I am wondering right at the start when you're a few dates in, does it cross your mind it could all be a bit costly? :(

From my experience of dating men when my DCs were pre-school, I'd say that, as others have mentioned, the difference in lifestyle between free and single men still in their 20s/early 30s and me as a parent was a far bigger issue. Shared finances comes much further down the line. If you start dating now, you could date for a couple of years and by the time you'd be thinking of moving in, your youngest would be at school and there's no reason why you couldn't be working quite substantial hours a week.

The men I dated were all OK in principle about me having kids, but the whole differnece in lifestyle made things hard - as Bandwithering says. I'm currently dating (and considering moving in with ) a father, and find and it's lovely being in a relationship with someone who really understands what being a parent is all about. The finances have not been an issue in our discussions about moving in together, as I earn enough these days for the tax credits that I'd lose not to be not a huge amount.

Online dating is good as most sites allow users to say whether they are happy for a partner to have kids, so you avoid wasting any time on men that say no!