abusive ex (nrp) wants dds appointments sent to his address

[MissPricklePants]

as the title says really!i find it rather odd and unnerving if i'm honest. I keep him updated about dd and I am reasonable etc despite the abuse. Surely the appointments should go to dds address?he doesn't have a good relationship with dd and obv don't want him turning up and upsetting her iykwim?i know that i prob sound petty but can he demand that these details are sent to him?thanks in advance

'I told the therapist about the abuse and got told that he could have everything sent to him regardless. I do not want to create problems but we couldnt even get through mediation in the same room so dont want him turning up iykwim. Dd has witnessed the abuse and like i said in a pp she does get quite upset around him.'

In that case, can you escalate this above that particular therapist? It seems VERY counterproductive if your DD is going to be upset around him - I would try and take a very firm line on this one, and be clear that it is a domestic abuse situation. Also go back to your GP and HV on it. Make it clear that you are more than willing for him to be kept informed about progress etc. and also that you faciliate contact yourself - but you won't have her medical progress inhibited or be made to have unwelcome contact with him over and above the court order.

otoh, it may actually eb important that a therapist/profressional witnesses yr dd getting stressed around him.

if this is done at appts in a proper setting eg therapy room then your exP will have to try adn beahve. if he does not then therapsit shoudl ask him to leave.

if dd gets noticeably upset around him then this will be witnessed.

what happens on the contact visits?
how do they go?
how does her upset manifest?
what does he do?

you could agree to one joint appt at hospital/therapy office as a trial - if he is at all abusive to you or dd is upset then therapist will have to agree to separate appts.

i think if it went to court you would have to show you tried really - in the absence of any sepcific restrianing order on him etc then you dont want to look like you impeding him being involved in any way - it is important if she has delays that both are involved in what the therapist is saying in terms of strategies etc .

contact isnt going well, dd cries as soon as he picks her up and clings to me, she won't eat with him, he doesnt change her nappy etc and just plonks her in front of the tv. I dont want to be seen as restricting involvement but dont want to cause unecessary distress to dd due to how he is with her. He speaks to her like a dog and is very inconsistent.