Thanks for all the replies. My thoughts were running everywhere when I posted yesterday, feeling a little more calm and centred today.
The question about moving away was just in case things did escalate and of course, would not be a decision I would take lightly at all and would be one made only in terms of safety, if that makes sense.
We can't do drop off and pick up from school because of work hours. At the moment he takes her to school every day and I pick up every day. The reason I was in his house was because things have been very amicable! When he drops at mine he'll often stay for a cup of tea and a chat, on Father's Day dd and I made lunch for him and he came round, that's how it's been.
The argument was over her clothing. I was picking her up to take to a party on a farm. Bearing in mind it was 32oc I did look a little shocked when I entered as she was wearing a multi layered pink, sparkly, organzer esque party dress over black leggings and with long brown winter boots on. I laughed, as it was quite a funny site and said something like "oh dear, you've been dressing yourself again haven't you, let's see if we can find something more suitable" . . . Of course I'd put my foot right in as Daddy had selected said outfit. I apologised and pointed out that the party involved a tractor ride, feeding animals etc etc and perhaps something else would be better . . . he just snapped. I started to make my way to the door, thinking I'd just pop back to mine and change her when he started a tirade, not yelling but raised voice about how nothing was ever good enough for me, and that I should have dropped something suitable off etc etc. I put daughter in the car and went back in to initially, reassure him that it was fine, not to worry. Just smooth things over (previous emotional issues from our relationship and this is the best way to deal with things, otherwise he'd have a long sulk and make life as difficult as possible) that's when he shouted, told me to just fuck off, and pushed me out the door. He had asked me to leave, it's true but I was quite worked up by this point and just felt that if I could smooth things over the rest of the week would be so much better so asked him just to listen. I didn't raise my voice once during this (well practised from 8 years with him).
Equally I realise now I should have told dd the truth about it, kicking myself slightly as honest is the only policy with me.
I just can't believe that this is happening, this is the main reason why I left, to prevent this.
How do I report this to the police? Do I literally just go into the station and say I need to report something?
A huge part of me feels that I should not be allowed dd there right now, that if he can do this to me, what is he capable of doing to a child who winds him up? I realise this is unfair of me, and that the two are very different things.
I've sent him an email, explaining that we need to talk. I told him what Rachel saw, he didn't know I'd fallen so badly as he'd shut the door. He told me he was sorry I'd lost my footing, but he just wanted me out of his house. I've replied, saying that I agree I should have respected it was his house and left the minute he asked, not tried to finish my sentence. I also said, that I certainly didn't lose my footing and was disappointed he was trying to pass off what had happened as my fault. No reply yet.
Blue