Don't you just hate the smug marrieds on here who obviously are perfect mothers!

[MrsS01]

Grrrr

I had a so called friend who has recently let me know about her true feelings of LP's. She knows full bloody well I am one of them as I was at her place crying the day he left.

It's a shame but I couldnt keep letting these little snide and downright nasty comments go anymore as I had been for the past 18 months.

I havent spoken to her since.

"Like when i came home today and found his fucking gym gear that has been festering for 3 days in the bloody bag."

That sounds much easier to deal with than "I looked into my bank account and found maintenance is delayed by 3 days and my account is already in overdraft.

However I agree, one of the things I have found most surprising of being a single parent was that actually there is far less work to do when DS and I were on our own. Obviously, the financial worry puts a bit of a downside to it but hey ho, there are worse ways to have a miserable life :)

Maelstrom - don't start me on that one! I wish I got maintenance :(

My XH doesn't think he needs to work to help support our DC, he's given up 3 jobs that I know of and hasn't paid anything for years :( However, I know he does work for cash in hand but can't prove it, and he's forever pleading poverty if I ask him to help. I don't know how he can live with the guilt, he knows I've asked for extra hours at work to try and cover my ever increasing costs

He's said he'll try and help in the summer. Maybe if not financially he could help with childcare while he's sitting on his arse and I'm at work or even help pay for holiday club. Oh is that a pig flying overhead! Oh dear I'm ranting again!

The other thread is still p'ing me off! They're now on about I've introduce kids to NP too soon. Its a bit bloody hard not too if you've both got your children 24/7, work with little help, no money to pay for sitters. It must be great to live in Utopia!

Rant over - Again!

I believe the idea of waiting for years on end to introduce the NP to the children is ridiculous if you have been in your own for a long while. I have done both things, introducing early and introducing late.

I would introduce early (with care), there's nothing worse to find out that the lovely man you already adore is absolutely incompatible with your children. But then... I only learnt this through trial an error.

So don't let them wind you up.

I haven't noticed the smug marrieds, but I agree that being a LP is bloody hard. One of my dear LP friends was saying the other day that for her the worst thing is that there's no one to talk about the ordinary stuff with, no one is as interested in your child as you are so you can't have the "aren't they brilliant/fascinating etc" conversations.

And let's not even go there with the time/money issues...

I just need to add how much I hate "effectively a lone parent" I always feel like saying "really? Explain to me exactly how you think ur an LP? No? I didn't think so!"

I have one particular friend who bangs on about how "I wouldn't understand how hard it is that her DP had to work on a weekend" he worked once. I wouldn't understand?! Really??!!

I had the "effectively a single parent" with a woman I normally find difficult to tolerate.

She was complaining about her parents being "too helpful" to her sister who is a single parent to 3 kids. To be honest... I couldn't stop myself... So I asked her... "Could you please explain me how you are effectively a single parent or how you can compare your situation to your sister's? you have a nanny, she doesn't, she has 3 children, and you have 4 but to be honest, you may as well have only 2 as in the 4 years I have met you, I have never seen the youngest ones as they are left with the nanny all the time, you don't even travel with the 4 in go, you take 2 at a time. You work part time so you can be lunching here with us at the expense of your husband. He may be away all the week but you know you can expect him to return and entertain the children during the weekend, so you can see the light at the end of the tunnel every week. Your sister can't."

That's amazing :) I'd love to say stuff. Maybe I will start! Well done :)