help me - just lost it with the kids but so angry at H for leaving

[MrsMiggins]

H left on Sat (incase you havent seen my thread)
thought I was doing OK today

then left work at 3.30pm as just had enough

went shopping instead of coming home crying & bought some clothes - but not really a shopper so cheered me up momentarily

have just lost it with the kids and shouted at them
left them eating icecream in the kitchen

DS said "you're good at shouting" as if it was a compliment
"you're good at whinning" I said and left

am crying
why is it fair that bastard H has gone off with HER and all he has to deal with is work?
while I have part time & kids and am scared stiif about money & house & work etc
he will be living 2 1/2 hrs away so it will onlyu be weekend access

and DS keeps asking why daddy isnt coming back and I keep being nice & fair but I just want to say "because he is selfish and lies"

mrs m jus read most of the threads.
My mum is going through the same thing at the moment (for the last year to be exact!!).
My dad had an afair and decided after coming back and for on many occasions that eventually he is going to stay with the thing he had an afair with!
Mum has found it extreamly hard this last year as so much has happened between my dad coming and going like he pleases!
But my mum is finally divorcing him.
I am 22, my other 2 sisters are 20 and 13 and my brother is 12.Me and other older sis dont live at the family home - we both live with our partners.
So my younger siblings have had to see alot of abusive and physical violence - which no matter what age you are you never want to see your parents like that!!
Me and 13 yr old sis (although what my dad has done is completely wrong!)are the only ones are still wanting to see my dad, and the other 2 hate him soo much for what he has done!not surprising really!
....BUT it may seem strange talking about divorceb but if thats what you are going to do, then like some have already said he def can not take the house from you - it is your FAMILY home!
If there is still mortgage to pay on the house (which like my dad the mortgage came out of dads wages)make sure you get a court order for him to keep on paying the mortgage, if in case he changes bank accounts and stops any dd's that are to come out of that account (as my dad has done this - with the help of the whore he has gone to!)
I also agree with what someone else said on this thread, get all the kids xmas presents out with his card, he cant say take them back!
My mum is also planning on buying my dad out from the house so that she is souly the one who holds any ownership of the house.
As if she was to get my dad to carry on paying the mortgage when it comes to sell the house(which if the funds are not there you may have to)there could be at least a 50/50 split, which really wont get you much of a house....!
Really sorry this is extreamly long!
Hope it all works out for you.xxx

I am a bad bad mother
lost it with the children again and all cos of H winding me up

my children only wind me up when Im on the phone to him so I should go back to not speaking to him but then how do I sort out access and money etc with him living so far away and rushing off when he does come to visit?

Im so cross with myself - I even read a different thread earlier where ggglimpopo said "better to walk alone than badly accompanied" and that is ME - I even said to H on phone (before I lost it) that I didnt know why I missed him as he never did anything round the house or help with the kids & went on the computer while I cooked tea - he laughed and siad I probably missed having someone to cook for

why have I allowed him to get me so upset?
Im scared about losing the house - hes seeing a solicitor (finally) on Tues and so scared he will change his tune once had advice.

he is living "the attached no kids loads of money life" apart from 1 minute phone call to DS every night and 5 hrs once a fortnight visiting kids

he keeps harping on about me rushing into a divorce & cant see I need financial closure so I can move on

I guess rejection even by a tosser hurts

I need to write down the wonderful phrases & advice people have given me and stick them up round the house

Message withdrawn

the law doesnt use blame to give one person more than the other

he is so lacking in empathy or regret for the way things have turned out that I believe he will just look at the settlement from what he can get regardless of the children & me

he still thinks he worked at our marriage and his affair had nothing to do with it AND that I didnt try hard enough