Your first step....what was it?

[Bearslikehoneyintheirtummy]

I mean when you left. What did you do first? Find somewhere to live? apply for financial help. I know I need t find somewhere before I try for housing benefit right? So would I need to pay a deposit and first month rent at least out of my own money? Not done benefits before so not sure how long it takes to process etc........Currently DP works and we live from that (I am a SAHM and dont really have any savings)

I know this is possible because so many of you have done it where I need to know where to start.

will do better answer later, but u could do worse than look at entitledto.co.uk and shelter's web site, as well as your local council's web site

Thanks simple. I will have a look at the website.

Right, slightly better answer -

It all rather depends on your current circumstances, and why you're leaving. Is there a timescale / need for urgency?

Since you're talking about leaving and renting, your Council's homeless dept should be able to point you towards places that do deposit schemes (if they don't do one).

If you're on benefits, you could do a lot worse than apply for a Community Care Grant to help with the cost of moving.

But if you're escaping DV, this is all by-the-by.

If that's the reason to leave, then get in touch with Women's Aid (or your local variant), and go from there.

Hi simple. Its not urgent as such (no DV/Physical involved, I would prefer to have some kind of a plan as I have a young daughter to think about. Currently my H works and I am a SAHM I don't have any savings though myself - never been on benefits as I worked before I was with him.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1202071-Sick-and-fed-up-of-this

A two year old and a baby due + no savings = Income Support = full Housing Benefit allowance, as well as a "passport" to several other benefits.

That said, unless you get a Council property, it's likely you'll have to find something towards the rent.

I'll read your other thread and I'll be back later :)

Thanks simple. Myabe it doesnt have to be as complicated as it sounds. am sure its possible somehow!

I've started reading your other thread.

Did you speak to Women's Aid? The other posters are spot on - he may not hit you, but he most definitely does abuse you. It's still Domestic Violence. The fact that it's not physical violence is utterly beside the point - the emotional and psychological abuse is more damaging, as it attacks and chips away at the most fundamental "you".

Also, you need to get in touch with a solicitor that will do Legal Aid cases: www.lawsociety.org.uk/home.law look to the right of the page.

Counselling for yourself - excellent idea.

Don't know where you've gotten with it thus far, but MIND do free, open-ended counselling.

Yes, I'm posting as I read ;)

this site is another must - CSA calculation page for how much he should be paying to you.

Ok, I havent really got anywhere yet but I think the first thing to try and set up this councelling.
I'll have a look at the MIND website (actually worked for them many years ago in admin!)
I have just sent an email to my mum and dad today explaining whats going on.
Its been 3 days now so far in this silent episode(also won't eat dinner/meals I cook for him!) and I am trying to convince myself that I must do this even if tomorrow he is the nicest person on earth- its happened too many times now and I hate to say it but I don't have any feelings left.

I think the aswers on this site have really helped a great deal and given me some strength to deal with it too. I'll look at these websites tonight.

and finally, when you're feeling low, re-read the thread you linked to - see how there's support, how there's light at the end of the tunnel, and how you must do it for you and for your dc's.

Thanks again simple! :) I am just trying to find a low cost councelling place in my area as a start. Will email MIND also to see if they can help.

You're welcome

Nearly two years on, I'm still having my counselling with MIND. Lovely folk.