I just simply cannot get over how awful CAFCASS is

[whiteandnerdy]

There's nothing so soul destroying than to be a parent trying to convey your concern about the quality of service a govenment body is providing to your children only for them to put the phone down on you.

Yes I've written to my MP, my disgust for an organisation of such amateurs given the task of safeguarding the interests of our children in the most difficult of times for me is inexpressible.

diary - do you do it with latest at the top or latest at the bottom?

i have done this both ways - latest first is good - but sometimes it doesnt make sense becusse you need to follow the thread

limping - who paid for the psych reports? who asked for medical reports? not dissimilr here - tho his "letter from GP" has come for fincial hearing not contact. for contact issues (he currently no cotact after assaulting DD in october) am waiting for family group conf under SS to be set up - at which the childrens wishes and feelings are expected to be heard.(sorri whiteand nerdy -am hijacking - not sure if any of this relevant for your ex)

whiteandnerdy - CAFCASS do set up family group conferences and maybe this might be way forward for you? (we were offered this but ex refused to attend...in 2009) becuase the children would be very much at centre of this - plus profressionals like camhs could attend

Hmm I think I've come to understand that CAFCASS is an organisation with an under siege mentality, where actions are based upon a philosophy of how little can we get away with, rather than anything based upon what is in the best interests of children.

Don't accept that or even try and justify it!
The government white paper is 'Every Child Matters'. It does NOT say 'Every Child Matters unless CAFCAS are under presure which means that they can make excuses that this child doesn't...'

My children have been made party to the proceeding so all the reports etc have been funded - the psych report alone is costing over 8k!!! Our has been a long trial with their Father changing his mind and not turning up etc. He has challenged the last final judgement on grounds of his mental health and then wonders why the court are interested in his mental health!!!!!!!!!!

Every child does not matter - if a parent keeps challenging the process just goes on and on - with me and the children jumping through mant and varied bullshit hoops so we can tick boxes. On the whole cafcass and the psych and the previous cafcass officer have been nice to my children but really it has been beyond intrusive. Interestingly they couldn't be less interested in their step father who has parented them for over 4 years.....

when you say they "have been made party" what does that mean exactly?

why is it 8k for a psych report??? i was told 750 or 1000 ....

hmmm - my exP challenged last financial heaing on MH grounds... ugh, could be in for long hall.

contact - I am not taking it back to court (order is for supervised contact but he is refusing the supervision bit so really he is the one not complying); he could do so and that is at back of my mind - however he doesnt agree with court full stop. so current plan is to get a profressionals meeting with his MH team SS etc - then maybe move onto family group conference.

anyway - to go back to WandN - the ex's MH is presumably not in quesiton as such, she is just being awkward and not taking DC views into account - which could be explained by her jealousy etc ... but doesnt justify it.

and doesnt justify CAFCASS response in this instance.

I received papers last month from my ex saying I had to attend court last wed as he wanted to start seeing our son and also wanted parental responsibility rights.
We split up when I was pregnant he saw ds a handful of times in the first few months then nothing at all until he was 6 this only happened because son asked to see his dad so I made arrangements to introduce them. This went well and dad eventually started picking ds up from school once a week and taking him for a couple of hours then 18 months ago I asked dad to mind ds over night and then take him to school in the morning .
To my horror I find out that he only took him out for a walk in the woods at 1am . This I see as putting our child at risk and this is not acceptable
So I told dad that I wasn't happy but didn't want to stop contact all together as this would not be fair on ds1 so I was happy to agree to take ds to the swimming baths, park , McDonald's and wait in my car whilst they spent an hour or 2 together. To which I got a lot of abusive texts back for a day or 2 then nothing at all until these papers with a court date.
In the last 18 months ds has come out with a lot of little comments about what his dad used to let him do all being things I would not let him do like play 18 rated games and light candles it has also come to light that whilst driving around with ds in the car he was under the influence of drugs and had a couple of minor bumps in the car. his dad also encouraged him to lie and keep secrets from me about these things ds said dad told me not to tell you because you would be mad.
Anyway at court a lady from cafcass spoke to me and I aired my concerns about the above and due to this I did not feel that he is a responsible person who would not put our son at risk. I offered supervised contact and also the choice to have phone contact once or twice a week . The lady said at one point ds was only 7 when he kept these secrets from you he is now 9 and less likely to be influenced to lie and keep secrets from you and I think this was when she took a dislike to me as I told her that opinion was pathetic. If an adult is allowing a child to take part in activities there resident parent would not allow of course they are going to lie about it .
When asked in court if she had any welfare concerns her reply was no. I will be closing this case. I couldn't believe my ears.
Sorry for waffling on , it's ok for him he has a solicitor whereas I have to represent myself as apparently he saw his solicitor last year and applied for legal aid then so it still stands . So I have till next we'd to write my statment to the court and send one to his solicitor, just don't even know what to do now all I want is the best for my son and to know that he is not being put at risk.