Parental Responsibility & Schools

[halfa]

Posting for brother ... Also posted in legal, but hes desperate for advice.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

My son has now been proved to not be mine biologically (5). I was on his birth certificate and as such had PR. We have court approved DNA test saying i am not father.

Ex has taken this into school and stated her intention to remove me from BC, and requested that school do not share information with me. First i heard of it was when i turned up today to make an appointment for parents evening next week.

They have said i am no longer entitled to information!!!! Is this correct? At the moment i am STILL on the birth certificate, so surely i still have PR?

I appreciate it will go eventually, am currently refusing to sign the declaration the registry office sent to me and i will be applying for a PR order in the new year.

But in the meantime i could do with advice on the legailities of the school. Dont want to go in all guns blazing if they are right, but dont want to just accept this either.

Thanks

Yes, because there was and still is a court order in place telling her she has to.

Hi.

Im not going to say DB has been blameless, he hasnt. I also have no idea whether mum would carry on with contact without the court order or not. DBs opinion is of her as a manipulitive liar, and obviously isnt her biggest fan, so hes not willing to stop court and see what happens. Hes well aware that if contact is stopped completely, he will have a bigger fight on his hands,

I sometimes question whether DB is in the fight for the fight if you know what i mean, but i also dont question his love for his son.

Its tricky.

I sometimes question whether DB is in the fight for the fight

I think it's something that you can easily consider and weigh up when you are on the outside looking in but can any of us say if we were in his shoes, we would walk away from our children if we found out (not a possibility for a Mum, but say it was) that our child wasn't biologically ours. Nothing changes in the relationship for the parent or the child. It's a horrible, horrible situation I would never want to be in.

ChocHob - it is a possibility even for a mum I'm afraid. There are (rare) known cases where children were swapped by accident at the hospital. I am thinking of a case in south africa that I know of in partiular here.
Neither of the mothers in that case walked away from the child they raised for 6 years before they found out. But they do also now have contact with he other family and their bilological child too.
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/may/15/wrong-cot-dna-mistakes

Unfortunately, schools seem to do what they want. Dh had terrible troubles getting information and contact from his dc's schools. He has pr for his kids, but school still made it difficult for him and doctors never treated him as an equal partner in medical decisions for his kids.

Chandra, it's a load of nonsense what you have said. Dh is a fantastic father and his ex made up a pack of lies and successfully prevented him with having adequate or reasonable contact with his dc's on and off for years. There was absolutely no legitimate reason for this, but she manipulated the courts to keep dh out of his children's lives whenever it suited his ex. They are now teenagers and completely scarred by the experience (neither child talks to their mother any more and call dh when they need help or support).

Halfa, I wish your brother the best of luck. It is a sad an awful situation, especially for the poor child who will be completely traumatized by his mother's evil actions. I admire your brother for trying to make that trauma a little easier for the child.

ChocHobNob, at that level of contact, the mother can ignore the order and she would only get a slap in the hand at court, but she won't get to prison as she is the main carer of the child, and the court will put the child's need first.

I have seen this happening. IMO the woman was bang out of order, but then... I only knew one side of the story, his. BTW he seemed like a very decent chap, and I do still think that he is.

I have seen other cases, where the fight for the fight sake is so bloody evident you feel like slapping BOTH parents.

And have also seen a particular case where CAFCASS, court and lies of father allowed for contact between child and father get substantially increased. The effect of such contact on the child has been such, that that child is now protected by social services.

So it's not all black and white, I'm afraid. That is the point I'm trying to make here.