Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Parental Responsibility & Schools

107 replies

halfa · 19/11/2010 12:08

Posting for brother ... Also posted in legal, but hes desperate for advice.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

My son has now been proved to not be mine biologically (5). I was on his birth certificate and as such had PR. We have court approved DNA test saying i am not father.

Ex has taken this into school and stated her intention to remove me from BC, and requested that school do not share information with me. First i heard of it was when i turned up today to make an appointment for parents evening next week.

They have said i am no longer entitled to information!!!! Is this correct? At the moment i am STILL on the birth certificate, so surely i still have PR?

I appreciate it will go eventually, am currently refusing to sign the declaration the registry office sent to me and i will be applying for a PR order in the new year.

But in the meantime i could do with advice on the legailities of the school. Dont want to go in all guns blazing if they are right, but dont want to just accept this either.

Thanks

OP posts:
booyhoo · 19/11/2010 16:20

how do you know they were in an exlusive relationship at the time of conception? you are still assuming she has cheated. why?

booyhoo · 19/11/2010 16:22

OP when you say tehre hasn't been flexibility for teh last 3 years do you mean ther has been regular contact agreed or none?

ChocHobNob · 19/11/2010 16:22

A court approved DNA test does not necessarily mean the mother has gone to court to ask for a DNA test to remove the child's "father" (which lets face it, at 5, he will be the child's father and that child will care diddlysquat about genetics) from the birth certificate.

It may just mean it is a DNA test that will stand up in court if needed. Many don't.

And I'm another poster who read it as/interpreted it as/assumed it meant that the father has now only been made aware he isn't the child's biological parent and is trying to be booted out of his "child's" life.

There was nothing in the post to indicate it was in fact any different, so everyone is "assuming".

OP, I'm not sure 100% of the legalities, but I would make an appointment with the head. Take the birth certificate I have proving my PR. I would then ask if they have anything other than the Mother's word that I no longer have PR and appeal to them to follow through with the correct procedure which is PR = PARENT.

Good luck, it's a horrible situation to be in.

HappyWithLife · 19/11/2010 16:23

Well if they were on a break, as the OP says, it would lead us to assume that they were in an exclusive relationship Hmm

booyhoo · 19/11/2010 16:23

ah i see he has weekly visits.

i think if your DB can show that he has a benficial influence on the child and that removing contact would have a detrimental effect then it is possible he will be granted contact once he loses PR.

booyhoo · 19/11/2010 16:24

happy, niceguy made these comments before OP clarified.

ChocHobNob · 19/11/2010 16:24

Cross posted. Your brother needs legal advice. Does he have a solicitor or could he access a free 30 min consulation?

Poor bloke.

booyhoo · 19/11/2010 16:24

and if tehy were on a break then they weren't actually in a relationship.

HappyWithLife · 19/11/2010 16:26

But if she told him he was the father then she did in fact lie and cheat did she not?

ChocHobNob · 19/11/2010 16:26

No but she still led him to believe he was the father and had him sign the birth certificate to say so. That's illegal and a horrible thing to do to another person.

HappyWithLife · 19/11/2010 16:27

What chochobnob said

booyhoo · 19/11/2010 16:28

choc i agree. my problem was with niceguy automatically labelling this womana s a cheating lying slapper based on very little information and none that indiacted that she was any or all of the 3.

ChocHobNob · 19/11/2010 16:29

Well it would have been illegal if she had knowingly put the wrong name on there but it appears she didn't know for certain. Anyway, that doesn't help the OPs brother in the slightest.

ChocHobNob · 19/11/2010 16:32

I read it exactly the same way with the information given, but maybe that's because I have first hand experience of this and know that some people do do it.

He wouldn't have needed proof that he wasn't the father unless he had been led to believe he was.

HappyWithLife · 19/11/2010 16:33

That was my point Choc...but Booyhoo didn't get it. It was actually clear to me.

booyhoo · 19/11/2010 16:35

he wouldn't have needed proof unless there was doubt that he was.

that is different to being 'led to believe'

doubt can be there without him being led to believe that he was. it could have been as simple as. woman had sex with man 1, then has sex with man 2. gets together with man 2 discovers pregnancy and says, "i can't be sure this is your baby" there is no leading to believe tehre but a DNA would still bve required to prove paternity.

HappyWithLife · 19/11/2010 16:35

Booyhoo...I'm afraid there were very clear indications that she was at least 2 out of the 3.

booyhoo · 19/11/2010 16:35

btw, i am aware this isn't the case in the OP i am giving an example.

booyhoo · 19/11/2010 16:36

from the OP alone happy?

HappyWithLife · 19/11/2010 16:37

OP....can you confirm for us please....did your brother think he was the father? Not might be...but was.

HappyWithLife · 19/11/2010 16:37

Booyhoo...yes from the OP alone.

booyhoo · 19/11/2010 16:39

well if from that information given in the OP your first thought was that the woman was a lying cheat then you have a horrible opinion of women.

booyhoo · 19/11/2010 16:39

OP confirmed her brotehr did not know he wasn't the father. he believed he was.

HappyWithLife · 19/11/2010 16:40

Um....no, just of women who tell a man he is a father when he's not, or might not be. I have a horrible opinion of liars in general

HappyWithLife · 19/11/2010 16:41

So you are saying then Booyhoo that the ex is a lovely person and did right by her child and her partner by leading them both on as to the paternity?

Swipe left for the next trending thread