I am such a rubbish judge of men, please give me your thoughts

[brazenhussy]

Ok . . .

I met a guy on match.com who seemed to tick most of my boxes. We have been emailing each other for 5 weeks, talking on messenger and on the phone.

He told me he lives about 40 miles from me and works as an engineer finding fertile soil, gas and oil underground for companies.
He said he is currently working in Malaysia and that his contract is due to finish any day now.

I really like this guy, he is funny and clever and has a lovely way with words and he seemed to like me too and was always telling me about how hard he was working to get his contract finished asap to come back to the uk to meet me.

However on Saturday I woke at 4am (midday where he is) to a phone call from him telling me that he couldn't return to the UK until he had paid the workers he had hired over there to work for him and could I please send him some money
He said he would pay me back next week when he got home.

I told him in no uncertain terms that I wasn't able to send him anything as I was a lone parent and that I couldn't believe he was asking me!

He apologised and explained that he won't get paid for the work he has done til he gets back to the UK and he can't come back til he has paid the workers.

I was gutted to say the least as I felt that the last 5 weeks had been a complete waste of time as money was all he was really interested in.
I didn't expect to hear from him again and wondered how many other women he had who had been taken in by him.

However yesterday and today he has been mailing and phoning as usual and didn't mention the money until I asked him if he had booked his flight home yet and then he repeated that he couldn't come home until he had paid his workers.

Please ladies, as I said in the title I am completely useless at judging people, I see the best in everyone, am I being taken for a mug?

that should have been everyone on Mumsnet

Well done you!
If he's not a scammer he's nothing to worry about has he?

Good job you! And even if he isn't a scammer (which I'm pretty sure he is) then do you really want to carry on any kind of relationship with a man who's going to tap you for money?
I hope all the other women he's tried it on with are as smart as you.

It's interesting - I've just replied to a message on PoF and as I'd just read this thread I noticed at the bottom of the reply box it actuall says

"If a user requests money on this site it's a scam, and you should report it here along with any other type of scam/spam."

Perhaps more of these websites should have that warning below the reply box to warn women (or men - I bet there are women playing the same scam on men too) about such scams

Obviously PoF are clued up MaMoTTaT, shame this is not more regulary mentioned

Oh it's done to men as well - all those 'Gorgeous young foreign lady seeking English gentleman' ads are pulling exactly the same numbers game (and may not be female at all eg may be a bloke with a set of photographs, though women do scam as well).

This is on THIS MORNING itv right now. a woman got scammed by loads of money i think she said £4000! by someone who claimed he was a soldier in Afganistan. xx

I just got this in my spam folder...good grief!

My Dearest,

   I am writing this mail to you With due respect trust and humanity, i appeal to you to exercise a little patience and read through my letter i feel quite safe dealing with you in this important business having gone through your remarkaable profile, honestly i am writing this email to you with pains, tears and sorrow from my heart, i will really like to have a good relationship with you and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you, i decided to contact you due to the urgency of my situation, My name is Miss.Vercious Kipkalya Kones, 25yrs old female and I from Kenya in  Africa. My father was the former Kenyan road Minister. He and Assistant Minister of Home Affairs Lorna Laboso had been on board the Cessna 210, which was headed to Kericho and crashed in a remote area called Kajong'a, in western Kenya .. The plane crashed on the Tuesday 10th, June, 2008.... You can read more about the crash through the below site:<a class="break-all" href="http://edition.cnn.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">edition.cnn.com/</a> 2008/WORLD/africa/06/10/kenya. crash/index.html

After the burial of my father, my stepmother and uncle conspired and sold my father's property to an Italian Expertrate which the shared the money among themselves and live nothing for me. One faithful morning, I opened my father's briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I travelled to Burkina Faso to withdraw the money for a better life so that I can take care of myself and start a new life, on my arrival, the Bank Director whom I met in person told me that my father's instruction to the bank is that the money would only be release to me when I am married or present a trustee who will help me and invest the money overseas... I am in search of an honest and reliable person who will help me and stand as my trustee so that I will present him to the Bank for transfer of the money to his bank account overseas.

I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well I will say that my mind convinced me that you may be the true person to help me.. Moreover, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my stepmothers have threatened to assinate me. The amount is( $9.4 USD )Million United State Dollars, and I have confirmed from the bank in Burkina Faso on my arrival, You will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venture in your Country. However, you will help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can complete my studies. It is my intention to compensate you with 40% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. As soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely. Awaiting your urgent and positive response. Please do keep this only to your self for now until the bank will transfer the fund. I beg you not to disclose it till i come over because I am afraid of my wreaked stepmother who has threatened to kill me and have the money alone ,I thank God Today that am out from my country (KENYA) but now In (Burkina Faso) where my father deposited these money with my name as the next of Kin.. I have the documents for the claims.

Yours Sincerely
Vercious Kipkalya Kones.

OMG lilac, you must be over the moon. I wish my luck was that good. When do you get the cash?

Brazen, you are not a rubbish judge of men. A rubbish judge of men would have sent the money. A professional scamster set out to trap you. You saw that, and even after establishing a relationship with him, you did not let yourself be sucked in.

nah youre not a rubbish judge - youre quite scarey doing all that reporting lark - bet he really was gutted:o - not to mention his men lol!

better luck next time - not all fellas are such tossers :o

Good for you for not falling for it!

As if an engineer would need you to pay his staff!!

This site is great! All about these sorts of people:

www.419eater.com/

OP, I've read a thread about exactly the same situation on another site, a year or two ago. Sorry you wasted so much time on this man, but glad you saw through him.