having a major wobble

[littlenervous]

im really fed up with everything.
Probably brought on by yet another loser on a dating site.

Ive been single for almost 2 years. Ive been online dating in that time as have not found one single nice man. Not one.

I have, quite literally, no friends. I have a few,maybe 3 aquantinces. But no actual friends.

Going out in an evening is impossible, i cant afford a babysitter and the few family members ( 2) who live near rarely want to do it.

Having just spend the afternoon with an aquanitce we have organised something for a few weeks time, and she is really nice. But she is married and said 'she really feels for me' so i feel its a bit in sympathy.

Ive never had a problem making friends before, and i dont thnk i would have a problem now, the problem is i do not get the oppurtunity to get out and see them. I work and then have DD.

My aquantince was saying how shes now going to a yoga class once and week and leaves her husband with her child. Im so jealous. It must be amazing to be able to do that. The she asked if i had a boyfriend and said she was really shocked when i said no, as according to her im stunning and lovely.

I just dont get out to meet men, or even friends. I dont know how to change this.

I dont know, its just feeling very hard work with no reward.

Apparently I give the impression of always being busy and not needing anyone - not sure if that if that is true.
I go out and about a lot with dc's. Ex was useless and horrible to be around so i would be out all the time when they were babies to avoid him.

I do love the freedom of going out where and when you want and a lot of the time the dcs realy like it (to my surprise) .When out with a friend and her dc to soft play during half term. Dc told it was good but next time they want it to be only the 3 of us!

I hate having to alway plan ahead to avoid not seeing adults for a long period as I go mad but am getting used to my own space.

I am lucky in that family will babysit and ex had them some weekends which is great but my social live is usually midweek meals with colleagues/friends with husband and I become non-existent to them at the weekend.

Anyway ex yesterday when picking up the dc was obsessed by a spot on my face and kept going on and on about it (he is obsessive about such things ) and when I lived with him would not have let up all day - that would have been a much worse weekend.

I glad you have found a couple of sources of meeting new people - I hope something good comes of it.

Great post gilly

ive had a few more replies on NM. So im going to meet with them all.

Have cancelled all my dating profiles and decided to concentrate on friends and just forgett everything else until the new year.

You say that you've been single for 2 years, but that yoyu've also been on dating sites for 2 years. Can I ask what the hurry was? I too have been single for 2 years and it's only very very recently I've felt ready to date at all.
I hear you loud and clear about wanting friends. But what I also hear is someone who, and I hope you'll forgive the cliche, needs to learn to be OK to be in her own company for a while. As soon as you are happy in yourself, then you will be ready to date. Being so miserable and lonely being single is not the best way to approach dating imo.
Makign friends is more difficult. I too moved when I had dc and had no established friends in the area. Most of my friends have been friends of friends that I have clicked with. You may just get lucky and meet someone in your situation, so you can share babysitting duties. I have just come to this arrangement with a friend and it's working really well.
Another thing that strikes me about what you've said is that you are concerned about being labelled a single parent. You Are a single parent, but don't let anyone make you feel bad about that. You're a single parent because you're the one who sstuck around and took responsibility for your children. I can thik of few things you should be prouder of tbh. Hold your head high.
As far as babysitting goes, have you asked the staff at your dd's nursery? I know at my dd's nursery the staff were happy to babysit, and actually one became a good friend this way, her family have supported me through some really tough times.
Good luck x x

booboo- im not concerned about being labelled a single parent. What i dont like are peoples automatic assumptions when they hear that, and yes, it is totally their problem and i shouldnt care but lets not kid ourselves, people hear ' single parent' and automatically make all kind of negative associations.

Im more than happy in my own company. Ive been single for 2 1/2 years and on a dating site for just under 2. Took me about 9 months before i even met up with somone. Im not one of those people that cant bear to be alone.

I just thought it was an easy way to get out and about and explore and new town, and maybe meet some new people along the way.

try "single with kids" they have a web site. I went on one of their holidays over the summer and it was the best thing i have ever done. I made some fab friends and we facebook and chat a lot. since my first holiday i went on two of their very cheap camping trips and made loads of other friends.Their holiday suit all budgets from very cheap to quite luxurious. They has have lots of pub meets, day trips, and all sorts.