do you feel your child is safe at sleepovers?

[bellbottom]

Hello, single mum to my dd of 2.5 years. Dad has never been part of the picture and we live alone abroad without family.

I never went out for 2 years and only now started to do it with a babysitter now and then.

Since she was born lovely offers come in from mums I become friends with, saying ' bring her to my place. My dh can look after them and we can go out for a night. Or " bring her to ours for a sleepover so you can have a night off"

Its all very kind and obviously they dont give it a second thought, but how the hell can I just hand my dd into the care of a man that I don't know very well? Children are at such risk of abuse and I just don't feel I can judge if a man is totally safe just by knowing him casually. I mean, GOD! Some fathers do it and the mothers would never susepct! And they are supposed to know them inside and out as their wives. But clearly its impossible to know anyone inside and out.

So - how to handle this? I feel so awkward about it. Dd has a new friend in our street. I started hanging out with the mum and the dad sometimes as he goes to same swimming class. They're so happy the friendship between the 2 has started. The boy came to play here the other day and then the dad said he'd do the same for me on his day off. He also suggested dd come for a sleepover one night. I just turn dumb at those moments, because how can I explain I'm not comfortable with it without them taking it personally? How can I ever expect them to understand???

Does anyone else battle with this issue?? I feel SO alone!!!!!!

Thanks Meglet. You have made a point that a few have now made and it's been on my mind to ask why? Can everyone please explain to me your own personal reason why a sleepover at 2.5 is too young?
I've only done it 3 times with the single mum opposite, when I really needed it. And if I'm honest I'm not entirely happy with the way she goes about things in general....but that's another matter. (so I'm thinking I won't do it again)

But my point is, I don't see a sleepover as an ideal option by any means. My dd on the other hand is such an independant miss, that she'd be happy with a sleepover every night! Seriously I'm not kidding! She asks for them all the time!! She loves it! BUT, I feel my role as her mum is not to push her further into that independance at such a young age, just because she thinks she's all grown up! I feel I want to maintain a bond and a connection with her so that she stays aware of where she belongs and to maintain her security, before it all slips away from her!
So, even though I could have it easy and send her off to different places all week, I don't want to!!
I did start this thread because of wanting a feedback on the child protection issues. Mainly because of the offers that have come in from 2 parent families to care for her. Also because it's not just about the sleepovers but also that they offered to have her over to play, just like I had their ds here to play.
Also, when dd was 9 months I was taken into hospital unexpectedly and being a single mum I had to pass her to some friends for 2 days and it was my worst nightmare as I didn't know the dad so well. So I do sometimes think I have to have my options covered in case, god forbid, that ever happened again. The prospect of that is hard when you're on your own with no family, abroad.

I am curious to know what reasons others have to outruling a sleepover. Is it similar, or perhaps it's just because your toddlers would find it traumatic?
Intersting to discuss I think!
Thanks :-)