Changing childrens names after split

[whoknows2010]

Hello, dont know if anyone can advise me, I am no longer with my childrens father and want to change my childrens surnames to my own.

I really dont think that my ex will give consent and from what I have read online it is easier to add my surname and make their surnames double-barrelled.

So basically I need answers please please please from a wise MNer out there who knows anything at all about this and can answer some questions-
In theory could I just use my part of their surname(s?)?
would I have to use the whole double barrellled names when filling out forms etc or could I use just my own?
When you have a double-barrelled name which part of it do you use in day-to-day life, ie whould I put my name first or second?
How difficult and expensive is the name changing process and how long does it take?

Thanks for reading this far, any advice, however small really would be appreciated

Scarlotti

I say that as from you previous post you said that your eldest has had 3 surnames since she was born to keep up with your name changes/preference?

I have never found a DC who likes a name change-they are often resentful.

amberleaf - fair enough, although it's always the details that are missing from these posts.
DD was under 1 when I changed her name initially to mine, her father and I were never married and he had no parental responsibility. He never saw her as was drunk/off his face until she was 5.
She then chose to change her name to my current DH's when she moved to high school. We were due to get married a year or so after that, and she felt she'd prefer to do the name change when moving to a new school rather than once settled there. Had she wanted to keep her surname then that would have been fine. Effectively for about a year or so I had a different surname to my children.

I am actually very much in favour of children keeping their names, as it's wrapped up with their identity. I do think sometimes though, some sitautions need a different approach.

I agree that different situations call for a different approach but in case of OP the main interests of the DCs is to have 2 parents who love them and can get on when they have to contact each other so it seems counter productive to get into an argument about names when it is already a big part of the DCs identity.

I think I might be being a bit thick here, but why dont you change your name to match your DC?

If having a different surname to them is what's bugging you?

You can change your name by deed poll and then you will all have the same name....

Scarlotti, yes details do make a difference, i can understand a name change if a father is absent and has no desire to be a part of the childs life. I can understand why in those circumstances someone would decide to change surnames.

Sometimes it seems a mum does it as a spiteful statement to the dad and i think that's wrong-i can see thats not the case with you and didnt mean to imply it was.

amberleaf - totally agree that some mum's do seem to do it purely out of spite which I also agree is wrong.

youknowme - I like the suggestion you've come up with ... wonder how many mum's would change their name to suit?!

Whilst the name changing thing can be good, and the dc happy with it, DD does get a bit when we apply for a passport and I have to send in a birth certificate and TWO legal change of name certificates...