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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Honestly, what proportion of available men

40 replies

hobbgoblin · 29/07/2010 17:24

actually want to start up a relationship with a woman with 4 children?

Especially a woman who teeters on the edge of financial meltdown depsite being very resourceful and quite brainy...?

OP posts:
SrStanislaus · 29/07/2010 17:30

Well I don't know about proportions but I do know that it happened to someone I know.

A lovely bright girl who had 4 children by 3 different fathers . Just unlucky I suppose as she wasn't just throwing herself at any passing bloke. Met a lovely man who moved in and they had a DS together . All 5 children christened together and soon all 5 will be pageboys and bridesmaids very soon.

As the old grannies used to say "If its for you it wont go past you" or something like that

Original poster
hobbgoblin · 29/07/2010 17:36

Brilliant. That's one good story.

If I can achieve a whole list of anecdotes here that will be soothing.

OP posts:
primrose22 · 29/07/2010 20:33

2 children, financially almost ruined and distraught to discover that my father had a life threatening illness. I was a mess, late 30's, failed marriage etc but hey ho who should come along but a lovely man, (considerably younger than me ) to sweep me off my feet and love and support me unconditionally. We are still v.happy together, children great too. Does that help hobgoblin? x

Original poster
hobbgoblin · 29/07/2010 21:20

Yep. All good to hear. And congratulations to you.

May bump this for the (available) dads that cruise here for dates a la the MrsM threads.

OP posts:
primrose22 · 29/07/2010 21:24

How long have you been on your own? With 4 children do you get much opportunity to socialise in the 'adult' world?!

taokiddy · 29/07/2010 21:28

I've fairly recently seperated from father of my 4 children and went on 'Match' and met the man of my dreams! Lucky lucky me . Obviously you're not gonna get out much with 4 children and no money (like me) but there are lovely genuine men out there who jut see you and not 'Mummy' and dont care about money. Good luck!

meltedchocolate · 29/07/2010 23:06

I know a woman who had 4 girls by two men and she met a lovely (and GORGEOUS!) man. They have had a DD together and are getting married in weeks!! (thought I knew the same person as you for a second there SrS!!)

jamestkirk · 29/07/2010 23:32

hobbgoblin - dont exactly beat around the bush do you !

i did have a gf with 4 kids many years ago, tho with me having 3 it was like the brady bunch and then some. mine are alomst grown now, last gf had 2 of her own and it almmost seemed do-able...then she came to her senses...and here i am

Original poster
hobbgoblin · 30/07/2010 00:26

Ha ha!

No. I am known for it. Always honest though!

So, now you're here and MrsM is nursing her hangover (probably)... do you like short haired 35 year olds?

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 30/07/2010 00:38

Some will, some won't. Just remember that the fact a man is willing to take on a woman with 4 DC isn't the only factor that makes him a good, desirable partner. Hold out for one who likes the DC but is also attractive, housetrained, interesting and employable if not currently employed.

Original poster
hobbgoblin · 30/07/2010 00:42

Yes, when I had 3DC and got with my most recent partner I think I thought I had to prove myself to him rather than the other way around. It was 3 years of frikkin subserviance.

OP posts:
jamestkirk · 30/07/2010 23:54

hey hobb - you still collecting anecdotes?

short hair and 35 - what isnt there to like?

pinemartina · 01/08/2010 15:39

Just found this....

Me too,hobgoblin.I had dc5 with mine,and believed him whn he reminded me how grateful I should be...

I think my chances of sailing into the sunset must be less than zero now...

Original poster
hobbgoblin · 02/08/2010 00:21

Funny pinemartini, that was something my exdp would say. I'd hate to think he was right!

I'm sorry you maybe feel a little doubtful as I do.

james, you could have quite the pick of ladeeez if you follow this thread.

Are you weird at all? And do you have hair?

OP posts:
jamestkirk · 02/08/2010 23:28

am i weird at all? you sound positively hopeful!

as for hair - yes, in various places secreted about my person...oops - probably the retort of a weirdo

and as i may have gone to the same school of quick wit and charm - do you have a dodgy eye or gimpy leg?

Original poster
hobbgoblin · 02/08/2010 23:52

Yes! Yes! I have a gimpy leg. You're gonna love me!

My eyes are fine though.

My gimpy leg is going to be ungimpified before summer's out.

I will leave you with that thought as a conversation starter should it be required at any point...

OP posts:
pinemartina · 03/08/2010 10:36

Damn,legs are ok - but wait,toenails not too hot...

Strong competition...

Original poster
hobbgoblin · 03/08/2010 17:29

one of my legs is okay, just so we're clear

OP posts:
lou33 · 03/08/2010 17:36

That would be me and my bf lol

jamestkirk · 03/08/2010 22:48

never heard of vases on the mantlepiece? pot dogs by the fire? ducks on the windowledge? they always travel in pairs - so you have to be different - only one ok pin to hold you up - so lean on me ...not my best anecdote - honest.

hope you dont mind me sarcastic northern sense of humour

roundthebend4 · 09/08/2010 08:41

same problem here 4 dc and ds3 has sn so my time in a adult world is zilch .plus its the raised eyebrows when they ask ages and then my age .

Think i now reached point that unless i trip over them or ds 2 runs them down in his powerchair for me single i shall stay

GirlofCadiz · 09/08/2010 08:53

I knew a women who had 7 children. She got divorced and remarried a few years later to quite a wealthy guy. She is absolutely gorgeous though.

roundthebend4 · 09/08/2010 09:09

now im Envy

Original poster
hobbgoblin · 09/08/2010 09:10

Gorgeous in the looks sense you mean or personality or both?

roundthebend you;re on the Blind Date thread aren't you?!

OP posts:
BigBadMummy · 09/08/2010 09:13

I met my now DH when I was on my own with three and unemployed.

He didn't have DCs of his own so has taken me on, and them and is the most wonderful step-father to them.

Friend of mine met her DH when she had two DS. She was pregnant with #3 and had been dumped when she met him. All had different dads, and he was there for her from week 14 of the pregnancy and raised him as his own, along with the older two, and the next two that they then had together.

He didn't have any DCs already and is 12 years younger than her.

So it does happen Grin

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