The positives of being a single parent...

[RedBlueRed]

I make all my own decisions re life/career/future.
I choose my friends.
I wear what I want.
I can do my exercise video/cross training in the living room without waiting for him to go out or having to put up with comments.
He doesn't come in at 2am pissed and wake me up any more.
I can flirt without shame.
No one undermines my self confidence anymore except me.
I get the whole bed to myself and I can go to bed when I want to.
No-one knees me in the back/stomach if I make that little clicking noise in the back of my throat when I'm asleep.
I don't have anyone to resent anymore for not helping out enough.
I have the joy that is my son ALL TO MYSELF!

Feel free to add to the list...

Haha, that reminds me of when I was in halls at Uni, I stripped down my motorcycle engine in a spare bedroom. The rest of the girls that I shared the flat with were ... hmm ... how should I put it ... not impressed!!!! Hey it was only a diddy 125, what were they complaining about really sheeesh!!! Mu-ha-ha-ha

LOL at you all.

I suppose I should be grateful that when dp was alive at least his obsession was music.

Still I am pondering as to what to do with the 3 large amps,3 guitars,bass,keyboards,16 track digital studio,wah wah pedal,huge stereo system and bongos that are currently taking up space in the loft conversion.

Scratch the guitars bit.I really couldn't part with them unless to close family.

The rest though.WTF to do with em?

in addition to the things many of you have already mentiones

my favourite things about being single are that I;

can go shopping and buy something without feeling guilty/ having to justify that I or the children really did need another skirt/ whatever.

alsoI am not woken up by someone swearing down the headset of his xbox in the early hours of the morning

Can get up and take the children out somewhere for the day for no reason than we want to go there

I can visit my family more than once a year

ebay some of the more nerdy stuff in-order to finance music lessons for the kids??

I can remember as a 12 year old stubling over some of my dad's stuff burried in a store room, was like an aladins cave! He had a hobbie (well before me and my brother came along ) of model building, both ships and planes!

being able to be a slob
do anything I want to do whenever I fancy it
if I leave the house tidy, it's still tidy when I get home again
I can take pride in everything that is here knowing that it was solely my hard work that has paid for the roof over our heads/the beds we sleep in/the food on the table/the flowers in the garden
my DS knows that his mum (and by extension all women) are equal to men in being able to do DIY/earn a living/support a family

I'm laughing at cars and bikes in bed rooms.

I used to have my old mountain bike stripped down under my bed but its now back together and DS rides it to school everyday.

I seem to have earned a certain reputation with DS's mates who bring their bicycle maintenance issues to me to sort.
I think I should start charging!

obsession? cars are simply an interest - and being single i have four...and currently on the lookout for another

You decide everything re: the children and can get on with it without disagreement.

Hmm, I guess being single means I get away with having four motorcycles in the garage, though I'm not currently looking for any more ... building a shed in the garden first

Also I have 8 computers in the house and 1 in the car

Coming to think of it, is being without someone else to temper your hobbies and obsessions really such a good thing then again .

lol my obsession is painting just as pricey but v v space saving

Wow what a fantastic thread! This has really cheered me up this morning and has probably made my day! I have been a single mum for just under 2 weeks now and have days I feel positive and days where i just want to cry all day. I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old and we had just moved away from all my family and friends

I totally agree with most of the great things everybody has come up with.

To add my bit:

• Double the wardrobe space!
• Half the amount of washing/dirty dishes etc
• I don't have to feel bad everytime I sit down for a cup of tea or a bit of mumsnetting
• DC see me happy and not arguing with DH all the time.
• I get time to myself/time to do housework when he does come and see them for the day.
• I don't spend all day looking forward to him coming back from work so I can have a 10 min break from the kids, only to be disapointed when he does get back and just moan/do nothing helpful and just cause more stress
• I can spend as much time gardening as I like
• I have total control over money and once I have got everything sorted, it should be much easier to manage.
• I can get as many sheds/gazebos/garden toys as I like!
• When something needs doing, I just do it, instead of hoping he will do it and weeks later do it myself.
• I have no junk food in the house except some treats so the kids eat healthier.
• I can cook what I want, instead of his fussy meals.
• I can feel proud to know that my daughters are amazing and it isn't down to anybody else.

Oh dear, I think I could go on all day can you tell I am better off on my own?

cook what I like or better still not at all
Not be mocked all in the name of banter / humour
Nobody speaks to me in the rude terse way he did
Sitting by myself in the evenings with self respect instead of being home alone while hes at the pub
No more puddles at the base of the toilet
No more bad atmospheres for the dcs
No more open or tacit criticism of my taste in everything
No more being disturbed in the night by crashing around drunk h

Being honest though still finding it tough a lot of the time but I will get there and this thread is a great one to help me along

ah, the joy at no longer being woken up by drunk / abusive XP is a major bonus .

Having a king sized bed all to myself.

Not having to step over laundry that he refuses to put in the laundry basket, apparently it was beyond the capabilites of a 30yr old .

Not having him spend £££££ down the pub every month leaving me to figure out the budget or take money from my savings.

Not being yelled at or scared. Or having to listen to someone being a twat.

No shit food in the fridge.

Not having to watch him eat a foul mixed grill in a restaurant. Heart attack material FGS.

eeewwwwww!!!!!!!

no more puddles at the base of the toilet???!!!

i'm so hoping you had some plumbing issues or i'll be having nightmares tonight

..... feel the need to add a " m'darlin " in a scott mills offve radio 1 stylee - just for a bit of levity

glad its getting easier

Oh I totally agree with the washing on the floor thing! My ex is 25 - but stil, putting washing in the washing basket is the least they can do! He always used to say he couldn't find it . In fact, a few weeks ago, when I had a go at him for washing all over the floor, he said "we don't have a washing basket in our room!" Errr, yes we have, shows how much you use it!

Yes well james now you can see why I dont miss him ..much

at the much.

i never really missed my ex w - she was just bad news - but i had an amazing gf a while ago who was hard not to miss - tho i dont tell her that anymore - still, who knows, i got proposed to a few months ago turned her down politely of course - i was still missing

Ok will think hard.

I like my bedroom being my bedroom

Love having control of the remote

Love not waking up thinking 'what mood will he be in today'

Thats about it lol

Discovering that it was my H not my DS who missed the toilet when peeing!

My lovely new bed which we can all cuddle up in in the morning.

Having my DCs in bed with me when they need a bit of reassurance (even DS who's 12 but don't tell him I told you!).

Having fun with my DCs without having to think about anyone elses needs but theirs.

Less than half the washing, ironing and cleaning even though there are still 4 of us here most of the time!

More room, less junk, tidier and more organised house.

More co-operative kids (mostly!).

More confident about my own boundaries and enforcing them!

Secrets, I think my relationship with DS improved once I left XP too. I was a much less stressed Mummy and he bacame a much happier little boy as a result.