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Original poster

To buy a flat or move away for a house

48 replies

Wannabemamas · 08/12/2023 18:31

DH and I are 42 and 35 respectively and we have just been gifted some money from our family (very lucky, I know) that will allow us to finally climb the property ladder.
We have a 5yo DD in primary school and we are currently renting a 2 bed flat in a naice part of the London suburbs. Even with the gifted deposit, our combined income and FTB status we will only be able to buy a nice 2 bed flat in this area. All the people around us think we’d be mad to do that and that this would be the perfect opportunity to move further out and buy a “proper” house. The fact is that as much as we’d LOVE a house with a garden, I am not sure that will make up for the change in lifestyle and moving DD to a new school.
We love it here, have everything at our doorstep, have made some friends and I have a super quick and easy commute to work, which is important as we are both full time working parents.
Are we being mad in considering to raise our DD in a flat when we could afford a house elsewhere?
I should add I am not from the UK and am only just starting to navigate this nonsense (to me) societal expectation that a family should only live in a big house with garden.

OP posts:
WashItTomorrow · 08/12/2023 18:34

Get the flat. There’s no question in my mind. Loads of people live in flats with children in London. The issue with freehold/leasehold is the bigger issue, and service charges.

Original poster
Wannabemamas · 08/12/2023 18:38

@WashItTomorrow you are literally the first person that suggests this! Everyone else thinks I am mad.
We’d only consider properties with a very long lease (900years) or share of freehold.

OP posts:
Brownhairdontcare · 08/12/2023 18:40

Get the flat! I live in zone 4 (in a house, but the area isn't particularly naice 🤣) and we are all very happy here! Kids are 13 and 11. London is a great place to have kids.

RuffledKestrel · 08/12/2023 18:42

Even not in London, if you don't mind living in a flat then live in a flat.
Do what fits your families lifestyle best. Gardens can be good to have, but they also can be a nightmare. I had a flat that was round the corner from a very well kept local park. It was an idea mix of flat living but having nice outdoor space without the upkeep.

Original poster
Wannabemamas · 08/12/2023 19:04

@RuffledKestrel I mean the ideal would be a house in our part of London but with a starting price of £650K for a 2 bed house that’s sadly out of the equation.

OP posts:
tralalass · 08/12/2023 19:07

MN hates flats so you might not get much support here but I'd say do it! Location is everything! Take a look at the new leaseholder laws that are (supposedly) coming in - you'd have to do more research, but they are set to be so much more favourable to leaseholders.

TheCurtainQueen · 08/12/2023 19:08

Get a flat and live where you want to live. We have done just that.

Original poster
Wannabemamas · 08/12/2023 19:10

@tralalass why is it a MN thing? (I am new to this)

OP posts:
Original poster
Wannabemamas · 08/12/2023 19:10

@TheCurtainQueen really? With DC? Are you in London?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wannabemamas · 08/12/2023 19:11

@TheCurtainQueen I would very much love a house with garden btw, it’s not that. I just don’t know if that would make up for moving to another area

OP posts:
Elfnsafetyhat · 08/12/2023 19:11

If you’re happy get the flat and you can always move at a later date

27icey · 08/12/2023 19:11

100% stay in the area you love

Original poster
Wannabemamas · 08/12/2023 19:12

@Elfnsafetyhat we will never be able to afford a house here though and are unlikely to be able to upgrade given our income and age

OP posts:
cheezncrackers · 08/12/2023 19:15

Opinions are like arseholes OP - everybody has one! But the only ones that count when talking about where your family will live are yours and your DH's. So if staying in the area where you are is you no. 1 criteria, that's fine. Many people live in flats in London, with or without families. London is full of fabulous parks if you want outdoor space and the best thing is you don't have to mow the grass!

Araminta1003 · 08/12/2023 19:19

Do you plan on having more DC? Are your local secondary schools good? I wouldn’t be able to move out of London so if you love the area and won’t outgrow a flat, stay.
Or save a bit more for a house in the area?

The upside to a house is that you might be able to do an extension/ attic conversion in the future to gain extra space. That is why some people used to buy a run down house over a nice flat but refurbishment costs are so extremely high now, especially in London, I think it may have changed. Still, I would be tempted to look.

trunkler · 08/12/2023 19:20

Look further ahead in terms of secondary school prospects where you are now which may determine whether you buy a flat here or move further out. Yes a lot can change in that time but at least you would go into this with your eyes wide open to what is available now.

The issues that can arise from the flat you probably already know about as you are in one, so garden access and shared gardens and potential problems with people claiming ownership, dogs using it for a toilet, if you are ground floor potentially people right outside your window, or upstairs lugging all the shopping up the stairs. Also hanging washing outside or on the balcony etc.

Lots of people live in flats especially in London. If it works for you then stick with that.

Sarah2891 · 08/12/2023 19:20

If I was you I'd get the flat. Sounds like things are good for you there so I'd stay put.

cestlavielife · 08/12/2023 19:22

Just get the flat in the area you like
Who cares what others think?

Simonjt · 08/12/2023 19:25

Wannabemamas · 08/12/2023 19:10

@tralalass why is it a MN thing? (I am new to this)

Because a lot of MNers think flats are for poor people, and poor people are an awful species that must be wiped out.

When we lived in London you couldn’t have paid us to move to a cheaper part of London so we could buy a house rather than a flat.

bombastix · 08/12/2023 19:28

I did exactly what you are being told to do; bought a house rather than the flat. Outer London is not as nice, the house is good but I miss London proper. I will be looking to move back if I can, a good flat in London is life enhancing.

ALightOverThere · 08/12/2023 19:33

Definitely get the flat. Why move area when you don’t want to?

nzeire · 08/12/2023 19:38

Location! Stay where you are happy.

we did the house thing, moved out of Dublin City to the burbs… I HATED it

i said after that, next place could be a shoebox, but it’s got to be in a fantastic location. Happily swished in shoebox, and still love it 15 years later!

Mydogisscratching · 08/12/2023 19:38

100% the flat in London.

geoger · 08/12/2023 19:52

Depends…..where arw you living now? What area would you be able to afford to buy a house?

Chalkdowns · 08/12/2023 19:55

Stay!! Especially if you don’t have the urge to have a house and you are free from all that. I married a European and he and I brought up our kids in a flat for quite a while. It’s a good way to live if you like your area and your job.

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