To buy a flat or move away for a house

[Wannabemamas]

DH and I are 42 and 35 respectively and we have just been gifted some money from our family (very lucky, I know) that will allow us to finally climb the property ladder.
We have a 5yo DD in primary school and we are currently renting a 2 bed flat in a naice part of the London suburbs. Even with the gifted deposit, our combined income and FTB status we will only be able to buy a nice 2 bed flat in this area. All the people around us think we’d be mad to do that and that this would be the perfect opportunity to move further out and buy a “proper” house. The fact is that as much as we’d LOVE a house with a garden, I am not sure that will make up for the change in lifestyle and moving DD to a new school.
We love it here, have everything at our doorstep, have made some friends and I have a super quick and easy commute to work, which is important as we are both full time working parents.
Are we being mad in considering to raise our DD in a flat when we could afford a house elsewhere?
I should add I am not from the UK and am only just starting to navigate this nonsense (to me) societal expectation that a family should only live in a big house with garden.

@Simonjt that’s so sad. I suppose you get people from many parts of the country where apartment living seems a bit more strange (although most of my London colleagues say I should get a house in the home counties instead)

All the three properties I've owned have been houses with gardens. With young children they are useful if you can easily supervise them in the garden BUT living in London (as we do), we found we had plenty of choice of parks and, overall with young children, spent more time going
out to them than having them play in the garden.

We moved to our current house when they were 6 and 10. Yes they did play out there but within a few years, the older one barely went out there, and the younger one was less into outdoor play anyway. What I always found is that the garden presents a lot of work. I do enjoy gardening up to a point but finding the time for it is hard. So I don't think having a garden is as important as is sometimes made out. In any case, you could buy a conversion in London and still end up with a garden! Or a block with its own green space?

Well, @Simonjt and I have joined the thread quite early so it may put off the posters who disguise snobbery with leaseholder laws/neighbour noise/gardens etc.

Of course some simply wouldn't live without a garden, but there's also an undercurrent of snobbery that tends to run through this topic.

Actually, just seen that you've posted in 'London' so may not get as many nay-sayers as you would in 'Property'.

There's a whole 'London' (anti-London?) thing that happens here too.

I've lived in flats in London all my adult life, and wouldn't swap location for a house.

Good luck with whatever you choose :)

Buy a flat with a share of the freehold and stay in London

Or buy a ground floor flat with a garden.

Yes, with a 7 year old in a 2 bed flat in Westminster. I’m sure most of our friends and family can’t understand it. We could afford a nice house anywhere else but I don’t want to live anywhere else. I love living in London.

Thanks all for the messages. The PP saying I get specific type of pro flat commens here because I posted in the London thread is right, but I assumed that the property and diy one would be too full of people living in a completely different part of the country that could never understand our dilemma and the comments from people too distant from this wouldn’t be very relevant to us.

I am also learning about all the different types of flats and have been reading on MN too. Lots of people seem to recommend conversion flats with a garden but then others say that would be horrible because of the noise from neighbours as they weren’t built to be flats.
Some seem to despite blocks and management fees associated with that whereas some think it’s a good thing to pay fees so you don’t get a surprise when there is work needed.
It’s all quite overwhelming, back home where I am from it’s much more straightforward!

Where do you see yourself in 5 and 10 year? Still in the same area?

Make a goal and work backwards from there

If you are planning a move elsewhere it's best to go now as 5 year olds can adapt better than teenagers

@bananamangoes in terms of area, I wouldn’t move away whether it’s now or in 5-10 years. There are a couple of good secondary schools here too.
It’s just whether we’d be happy to be in a flat “for ever” I am unsure. I would love a garden at som point and my own front door (sounds stupid maybe) but I just don’t know whether these things would make up for a change in area and moving further out with a longer commute, change of school etc

Of course you can be happy in a flat.

Certainly, if your DC is settled and happy in school and there are good secondary schools in the area then that's one extremely good reason to stay where you are.

Also if you can find a good flat with enough room for you as your DC grows - so big enough lounge and kitchen and good sized bedrooms that's fine. It does depend on if you're planning to have more children though and then space may become a problem. But if not then there's no reason to change areas just for a house if the place you're in suits you so well now.

The UK does have a weird obsession with houses though.

There's no harm in viewing places and visiting some new areas

Go visit some towns and suss out how you feel about them. See what you can get with your budget. If anything, it may reaffirm how much you love your current area

Personally, i think smaller towns are more interesting and buzzy than London suburbs. Especially those on direct train lines to the city

you love the location, your DD is happy at school and you have a very short commute to your full time job. Is a garden worth 1.5-2 hours commuting every day? Flats are great in London!

@HappyHedgehog247 A garden flat would be perfect but I noticed that around here they are mainly lower ground and I am
not sure I like that (although inside they are often beautiful)

Definitely the flat! You don’t want to move and so wouldn’t be happy in the Home Counties. Loads of Londoners live in flats so I don’t think you get the snobbery about it that you do in other parts of the country.

I lived very happily in a flat until no 3 came along!

Definitely a flat and location. We were fortunate to buy a house in our desired location in London, but I still miss our flat. It was a new build with wonderful views over London (10 meters long windows) and magical sunsets. It was warm (barely needed heating), never heard noise from other flats, location was fantastic, concierge for deliveries, gym in the building, and very low management fees & ground rent. If it wasn't a small two beds I definitely would have stayed there longer!

@DonnatellaLyman some towns in the HC are nice actually so it’s not much the London vibe I am after (as we are already in a suburban area) but we do have more amenities at our doorstep here and an easy commute

@EleMar Sadly we will probably never be able to afford a house here as they are very very expensive and we are not that young :(

Always choose London! You won't regret it when your dc are teens and have so much to do on their doorstep, rather than expecting you to drive them around everywhere.

What London and flats lacks in gardens, it more than makes up for in the countless beautiful parks and free green spaces absolutely everywhere and free or cheap entertainment and 24/7 very reliable and inexpensive public transport!

I've lived in London my whole life, in a flat (well, several over the years!) so maybe I’m biased.

I think we all plan to move to the suburbs at some point to 'get our kids out of London'

For me, if I moved, (I have a DD10) I'd have wanted to have done it a year or two ago at least, so she had enough time at primary to form some new friendships. Starting secondary knowing no one is the pits.

Also, it depends on if you have planned for anymore children? A garden isn't the be all and end all. We love to go to the park and find that much more social than playing in the garden would be. A garden is not really so much fun if you don't have someone there to play with.

Stop worrying about what you think you should do. Write a list of the pros and cons. Go with your instincts.

@LindorDoubleChoc so true! We are not central, zone 5 suburbs but still very well connected to central London

@ChorizoDog thank you for sharing. If you don’t mind me asking, what made you not move in the end?
We are in the suburbs so not central London but still closer to it than the HC