Homesickness

[Iloveponies]

I have been in Switzerland for 18 months,
its great for the kids at the moment and my husband, not so great for me at the moment. I feel quite lonley and different, I have tried to learn German, making slow progress but am quite sproradic in my efforts, if I am having a bad week or couple of weeks, I just dont bother.

I am fixated with the idea of going back to the UK, because I miss that sense of belonging, I think maybe its stopping me enjoying it here. I was a SAHM in UK for 10 years, I was on the threshold of being able to think about work or retraining. I dont see any opportunities here. I think that is part of the problem. My DH is really frustrated with me, because it is so lovely here.

Just having a whinge really but would be nice to hear from others who understand.

Hi there

Lots of people find themselves lonely when they are overseas longer term, I would say it is perfectly normal. Presumably your dh is busy at work and has a buzzing social environment of sorts there , so it is easier for him. Are you there to stay or just for a fixed term?

Re moving back into the workforce: are there any places there where you could study or retrain in English? You sometimes have American colleges abroad or local places which offer certain courses in English but I don't know Switzerland at all so not sure what opportunities there are for you.

Is your dh Swiss?

ZZZ thanks for replying,
No my dh is not swiss, he works for an English company, so it is lovely for him, he has no commute and works with really nice people,

Children in Switzerland have a 2 hour lunch break and mine currently have 2 afternoons off as well. Its a real SAHM culture. I knew that when I came, that is why my dh is frustrated with me.

I did think that there would be more of an expt community,but it has eluded me so far.

We are here for as long as the work is and while we are happy.

I think maybe I have to just deal with it, embrace or deny and all that.

Where in Switzerland are you? We live in Zug, although my dd is at an International school so we don't have the same time issues as you.
I understand what you mean about employment and training too. We are leaving in July.
How long is your dh's contract for? Is there an end in sight?

We are about 40 mins from Zurich,still on the lake though in Canton Schweiz. No,no end in sight, so basically if we go back to UK it will be because I want to. Which is what is worrying me. Thats a lot of pressure.

It is a lot of pressure. That's where we're at just now. We're in Germany and have been here for nearly 5 years. Kids have found it difficult at times and I have been very lonely and found it hard going. The children and I are returning to the UK in the summer as I do not wish to spend any more time here. DH will be commuting. I feel bad for putting him in that situation but he put me in this one and I stuck it for nearly 5 years for him.

FernieB

I completely understand that, after 5 years though you can say you gave it a good try though. I hope the move goes well for you.

Iloveponies. Schwyz is a particularly hard canton to live in I think. My dd's friend lives in Goldau and the washing machine goes off at 11.30 (IIRC) every day to enable the hausfrau to cook lunch . How old are your children? Maybe we could get together after easter, we're only about half an hour away.

Kreecher,

we used to live in an apartment but have been amazingly lucky in that we live in a house now, so that is definitely easier. I have 4 children, 10,9,7 and 6. It would be lovely to meet.

What you were saying about having an end in sight, I think that is a good point. If I knew it was another year, or even 2, I could deal with, the idea of forever is too much for me.

I suppose we are very lucky that I know there's an end in sight. I really doubt I could live here any longer than another three months or so.
I think a lot of our problems do stem from living in an appartment where our dd is the only child and on top of that she is an auslander. Still, on a more positive note, the sun is shining and the school holidays approach.

exactly, lets not worry be happy, enjoy the sunshine.

You have a lot of children. Perhaps we could go to the tierpark in Goldau. My dd has a love hate relationship with it stemming from the time we were chased by the deer for the food. She loves it because she was given a fun size milky way on the way in. She is odd.

I have never been,
ds1 has for school trip and he enjoyed it, nothing wrong with a funsized milky way, how old is your dd?

Sorry for the late reply, real life intervened, my dd is 8.10 how did that happen. She's a lovely little girl but a bitof a pickle. Once the easter holidays are over, we'll do something.

How about setting a timeframe for when you will review it and make a decision as to whether or not to stay? Say another 18 months or 2 years? That would be enough time to know whether you feel settled, to have made some friends and maybe to have looked into any opportunities there.

It might take the pressure off you thinking about it all the time and wondering all the time (which I think is very natural at the beginning). You would have an end in sight, and maybe that would actually help you relax and get into life there a bit more to see if it can work for you.

iloveponies have you thought of teaching English?

Obviously the Swiss are among the best in the world when it comes to speaking English but I imagine there is still demand. It wont solve your homesickness but it would give you an opportunity to retrain and work. you'd need to do a CELTA which takes a month and is recognised globally. You need no prior experience or qualifications aside from this, though some language schools prefer their teachers to also be graduates. I imagine you could do the CELTA in Zurich - is there an International House there? You can teach part-time or whatever suits, and it's a great way to broaden your social life.

If you want any more info about teaching english and what it involves just ask...

Hi

I am in a similar position here in Spain. My hubby works in an Multinational where there are English speakers. The kids are in school and love it here (except for my eldest who is 11).

For me I am seriously homesick and cannot settle. We've been here for 18mths in the North of Spain where there are no expats.

I am learning Spanish but it is a long process. My kids are all fluent which is great.

Anyway, I have days where I feel absolutely disjointed and a foreiger where I don't belong.

Other days, I feel that its OK but these days are few and far between usually when see the kids enjoying outdoor activities with their new spanish friends, laughing and having fun. Then I feel guilty that I want to take them back to the UK...

I have tried a few things to help myself, One is that I asked around for intercambios. I finally found one and we meet up twice a week for a couple of hours (speaking an hour in spanish and an hour in English). I also did a TEFL course, but the online type because I have kids and it is hard to do the CELTA as it meant being in a classroom fulltime. Now I have the basics to teach which I can build with some experience. It is good fun..

So they are my two little projects I have going. It helps me to focus on something else from my homesickness as I found when I am bored that's the time I feel worse.

Also, another thing I was thinking about was doing an online degree to keep me busy and perhaps be useful and up to date when and if I return to the UK and hopefully get a job.

Hope this helps...may of thought about already.

Thanks everyone,

I think you are right a project will be good,
I am on my own a fair bit and so there is a tendency to wallow in it and we are actually pretty lucky to be here.

I think I will enrol for a german class because at the moment I have been doing a computer course, but the temptation not to bother is too much and then the guilt...

I always thought my english grammer wouldn't be good enough to teach english, I struggle with this in German.
All that object and subject, passive voice stuff, maybe learning english properly will help me with German.

I will look into it.

Kreecher,
let me know when you are free, we dont have time off at weekends just the long bank holiday.

yes, actually doing the CELTA helped hugely when it came to learning Spanish... and it will with German too (for example the rules for comparative adjectives are more or less the same in both English and German)

don't worry about your Grammar - I didn't have a clue what conditionals were before I started the course and I'm still a bit hazy about direct vs indirect objects. You'll learn everything you need to know on the CELTA, and besides the methodology is based more on communication (i.e. just chatting!!) than doing endless grammar exercises.

where exactly are you NSL? we're in Madrid...

ILP, i thought Swiss schools were off at the moment. DD breaks up tomorrow and then we have dh's friend coming with three boys for a week, then easter, then we are driving up to antwerp to have a look round.
Will contact you when things are a bit less hectic. I was actually in Schywz last Sunday. I took my dd to the museum there. She was underwhelmed to say the least. We were there just around chrismtams too. We saw the whip crackers. DD decided that she would take it up as a hobby.

www.ihonlinetraining.net/

Seems IH Zurich does their teacher training courses online. When I did that CELTA course (mind you this is a very very long time ago now. It was quite intensive and involved teaching to a group of IH tudents whilst the other trainees on that course sat in on the lessons as did the course instructor. Afterwards the lessons were analysed, which is to say criticised by your fellow trainees and the instructor. I can't remember much now about what was covered but it was basically about learning ways of teaching English in a communicative manner (as opposed to teaching and explaining the grammar and then practising it with the class). Still you need a grammar book obviously to work with yourself - they tell you what you need.

You cannot learn all about teaching in a month or so obviously but it does prepare you for what teaching English will be like and give you some tools. I made great friends on my course who I am still in contact with nearly 20 years later on. We spent a fair bit of time commiserating together over life in general, beer in hand, to be strictly honest with you but we did have some good laughs too.

I don't know how an online course would teach you to teach but it might be a start?

What were you thinking of retraining for when you tired off SAHM-dom in the UK? Not everything requires perfect language skills.

gah

sorry typed so slow, I am just repeating what others said!

Grammar is poorly taught almost everywhere in the English speaking world for some reason so you are in the same boat as almost every other EFL (English as a foreign language) teacher embarking on the job. You buy a grammar book - something like Murphy's to look it all up and figure it out at home if need be. The teacher manuals spell it all out too pretty idiot-proof tbh with you. The more you teach it, the more you understand it yourself.

Only thing I would steer clear of is business English teaching simply because I found it so boring , I hated having to teach it. Mind you that is where the money is, if anywhere at all in EFL teaching.

I totally understand. For me:

Teaching helps, but not massively as it's quite lonely unless you're in a school. Be prepared to teach children or business people and if it's the latter you'll probably want a very good bilingual dictionary with business terms.
The OU is a lifeline (when I knuckle down and work)
Doing an intensive language course is much better than selfstudy. The amount you can learn in a week when you're immersed is incredible. I must go and do another one soon!
If you have the inclination google the UN virtual volunteering service. It's also a great way to start building your CV up again.

Oh and do not worry about grammar. Your best friend is a purple paperback called 'a concise grammar for English language teachers'.

If you really can't do a Celta I'd recommend i-to-i for online training but nothing, absolutely nothing, beats the celta or trinity course. i-to-i do a great grammar course online which is how I came across them but they do teacher training too.

If you think you could handle teaching dc, there is a franchiese called Helen Doron (name of the woman who came up with the method). I met some mums in Germany who trained in her method and set themselve up. Bascially theycontacted local Kindergatens and asked about offering acourse there. If enough dp signed up, they'd go in and teach the group (games, songs etc) once or twice a week.

Have never looked into it and cannot say what it is like:

[[http://www.helendoron.com/Helen Doron] There is a link on the right about how to train to be a teacher etc.

Personally I couldn't face it, I don't think I can teach a group of little dc, would rather learn to decorate cakes or something like that. You have to know if you'd enjoy working with dc but I think what you really want is adult interaction

Have you thought about joining a sport club or you and dh learning to dance in a Verein?

the joy which is creating links. Sorry, also mess it up:

Doron