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Original poster

DD's name unpronounceable in French - WWYD?

46 replies

usedtoreadbooks · 15/05/2009 17:28

We have recently moved to France, where DD's name is unpronounceable and therefore unknown. Pronounced as you would read it in French, it sounds very different to the English pronunciation but, IMO, equally lovely. Since she is too young to choose one or the other (19m) I am inclined to let her have both versions, which she can alternate between, depending on whether she is talking / being addressed by someone French or English. PIL is strongly against this but hasn't fully explained why other than to say that he knows lots of people with foreign names and makes the effort to pronounce them correctly. Can it do any harm to let her have two different-sounding versions of her name, at least until she can choose for herself? What would you do?

OP posts:
Fimbo · 15/05/2009 17:29

I would stick with how your pronounce it. It is going to confuse her otherwise.

KnickKnack · 15/05/2009 17:29

I would keep it, and use both pronunciations

thirtysomething · 15/05/2009 17:31

DS was born in France with an english name - the French pronounced it how it read to them and I loved it. He uses that pronunication occasionally now we are back in the UK. Didn't have any lasting problems with it - DD has a French name that the English now pronounce wrongly IMHO but doesn't bother any of us. I know an American-born child with a boy's name in French that when mis-pronounced by Americans becomes a girl's name - doesn't bother him as he just corrects them!

CoteDAzur · 15/05/2009 17:34

What is the name?

frAKKINPannikin · 15/05/2009 17:34

Mine is horrible in French (they just don't get it), we drop the S on the end. It's similar enough that I know who's addressing me and I don't mind having 2 names.

I may actually have to change my name if we move to Holland though.

Original poster
usedtoreadbooks · 15/05/2009 17:35

Thanks. Forgot to add - the French approximation of the English pronunciation sounds similar to another French word that I wouldn't want DD's name to be associated with. Fimbo, do you really think she'll get confused? Wouldn't it be just like having a nickname?

OP posts:
Original poster
usedtoreadbooks · 15/05/2009 17:38

CoteD'Azur - I'll tell you privately but don't want to publish it. Occasionally it gets bandied around MN as an example of middle-class pretension, but I have loved it for years and don't want to hear it being slagged off.

OP posts:
teafortwo · 15/05/2009 18:09

My nephew is called Thomas.

His family are French/English. When we are speaking in English we call him Thomas and when we speak in French we call him Thomas.

I think he quite likes it - makes him feel international but actually it is pretty much a non issue!

I know a Victoire - when she speaks English she likes to be called Victoria. Again - it is life!

My husband has an English spelt name but pronounces it the French way when he speaks in French.

I think your plan sounds like what most people do. - Go for it!

Thinking about it - People often do it within a language - e.g I know an Amanda who likes to be called her full name at work but whose family and friends call her Mandy. Actually I bet if we did a poll we would discover it is probably more unusual to be called the same name by everyone in every situation whether you have one, two, three or four languges....

MmeLindt · 15/05/2009 18:17

I started a thread similar to this one about 8 or 9 months ago, when we were moving to a French speaking area of Switzerland.

DS is called Connor which is uncomfortably close to a French swearword.

We wondered about changing his name to his middle name, but then decided against it. It is his name, the children in school pronounce it wrong but it does not bother him or us.

DD has an American friend who pronounces DD's name differently but she copes with it.

I agree with you, let her have the two versions, it will not confuse her. She will use one version with her friends and the other version with you.

alienbump · 15/05/2009 18:27

ooh - what's the french swear word that Connor is close to?? My DS is a Connor and we've often received a quizzical look when introducing him - mind you, Ava and Grace seem to get the same response!

SamJamsmum · 15/05/2009 18:31

Connard - (d is quite soft) is a rude word for idiot.
Conneries = crap/ bullshit, as it 'this is CRAP'

Original poster
usedtoreadbooks · 15/05/2009 18:33

Thanks for the reassurance. Since you've named yours, my DD is Xanthe - pron Zanthee in Eng, Zonte in Fr. Alienbump, my French swearing isn't up to much but I'd have thought Connor sounds like 'conard' - Babelfish translates this as "damn fool"

OP posts:
sachertorte · 15/05/2009 18:39

I´m entirely comfortable with the different prononciations of my name. I think it makes you fit in to the group you´re with.

MmeLindt · 15/05/2009 18:45

Whatever the swearword, we have had some silly women snigger when they asked DS his name. I just look daggers at them.

Xanthe is lovely in both languages.

Original poster
usedtoreadbooks · 15/05/2009 18:47

Thank you. She is pretty lovely in person too :-)

OP posts:
geekgirl · 15/05/2009 18:52

along those lines, a friend's ds (age 14) has a school mate from Eastern Europe whose name sounds just like 'Tw*t' apparently. Of course there was rather a lot of sniggering for the first couple of weeks when he arrived, but everyone got over it and calls him by his name without any problems.

nulgirl · 15/05/2009 18:54

i thought connard was stronger than "damn fool" and closer to "wanker" in translation. My hubbie who is french would tranlsate it as that anyway

sachertorte · 15/05/2009 18:57

Connard is definitely more offensive than damn fool! I would never use it!

nulgirl · 15/05/2009 18:57

Mme Lindt - just realised that i came across as being really rude about your ds name. sorry

frAKKINPannikin · 15/05/2009 18:58

Well I apparently changed my name to fit in with the country I live in. Hmmm.

I don't think the two pronunciations of your DD's (beautiful) name are that drastically different so go with the two.

MmeLindt · 15/05/2009 19:00

Don't worry, he is not called Connard

It bothered us at first, but now I don't even think of it. The name suits him.

They generally pronounce it Connaaa

Amapoleon · 15/05/2009 19:00

We are in Spain and ds's name is pronounced two ways. We say leo [leeoh] and the Spanish say Layo.

nulgirl · 15/05/2009 19:02

me and dh have the same problem

my name ends in th which the french cannot pronounce so they massacre my name in pronounciaton

dh name sounds like a girls name in english so I often get quizzical looks when talking about him as people think i am a lesbian

CowWatcher · 15/05/2009 19:05

I live in France too & DD is used to us calling her Anna in English & to being An-na in French. Doesn't seem to cause any confusion. I like the way they say it & may stick with it after back in the UK.

LilianGish · 15/05/2009 19:26

I don't see that you'll have much choice. My children (at French school) know lots of children whose names are pronounced differently depending on which language they are speaking. At least the French can attempt a pronunciation if they see it on a list - I have a friend whose daughter's name is Phoebe which baffles everyone who sees it written down. Mine both have names with fairly universal pronunciation for that reason. At least your dd's name sounds lovely in both languages.

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