Streupflicht und Schneeschaufel

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Thanks Gabster for the inspiration for the thread!

Add your resolutions here & I can slip alongside and pretend I'll make some too.
Still too fragile - my sleep patterns go haywire when I'm home, stay up till 1 or 2am, then awake at 5am (6 here, usual flipping school time) then I come back & keep crashing on the sofa at 10pm and wake up at 4 bright & breezy.

We have snow, very pretty and h is off till Weds so am pushing him out for Streupflicht, bartered it for a fry-up with real English bacon, hmmmmmm.
Forecast is for -12C to -14C tonight - and when the children go back to school on Thursday. Yikes.

My dc definitely felt more British when we first moved here but over time they are starting to feel more and more German although I wonder whether we have doomed them to a life of never really fitting in anywhere.

Talking of fancy dress outfits, ML, it's that time of year again when the dc have to decide on their Fasching outfits. Am not up to making one so I'll have to see what's in the shops. So far all the ones I've seen are so uninspiring - Pippi Langstrumpf (yawm), Indianer (even bigger non-pc yawn), pirates etc, etc. Perhaps ebay would be the best bet.

God, I hate Fasching.

Hi Admylin.

So sorry you're in pain.

OK, Move to UK - We were v. happy in CH, (well, me & Kids were) then dh got job in Milan, I said I'd stay max. 2 years then, for the ske of being somewhere permanent, I said then we'd move to UK. But I've never missed the UK and din't especially want to go there iyswim, but living near London would mean we could stay permanently as dh should be able to work in several places, ie could change jobs in the future and still stay in same city - this wasn't the case in eg Basel or Zurich.

Anyway, we came to Münich at the last minute, so we sort of mental revised that plan, and considered staying here long term. School great, house great, city great. But it just doesn't work - the kids are not happy, esp ds1, and that talk just before Christmas really made me think (when he said he didn't want to live anymore, his life was no fun anymore etc etc).

I was fed up also just before Christmas as you all know, cos I see it just doesn't work, it isn't working out for us here. The international school was a mistake, but also a good thing at same time. But our situation doesn't work. The kids have no friends here and are not happy. If we stay as we are, this will not change. And I'm not happy either.

Anyway, we couldn't stay as we are, as we can't afford to pay for 3 boys at IS (dh firm only pay 2 years), so we'd have to leave this hose, they'd have to leav their school, loads of upheaval anyway.

Then at Christmas we went back to UK. I enjoyed it for 1st time ever. Ds coming up to secondary school age, and original (MIlan model) plan was to return to UK in time for that. Then that was it really. It just seemed to make sense. It feels like the right decision. Although I never missed UK and never actively wanted to return, it feels like the right thing to do, and the right time to be doing it.

My kids have never lived in UK either, but they are very excited to be 'going back'.

That was long sorry, phew, just wanted to answer your Q fully

Really hope you can come to an acceptable to everyone decision. Can your dh def not work in UK? WOuld he not consider a career change for the sake of your and dc happiness? I thought you said he was applying for UK job? Wherein UK would you go?

Taipo
Get yourself onto the UK websites for fancy dress, if you can get a relative to post it out to you.

The really lovely fancy dress outfits are selling for around £20 - 30 so only about the same in ? at the current exchange rate. Marks and Spencer do good fancy dress and now deliver some things to Germany.

oh, and finally, I'd reached the point where I'm tired of being a foreigner, and I've now come to accept that I'll always be one. Going back to the UK and actually being able to chat with people was a real eye opener.

The time is right in every way. But ds being so unhappy was the final push to open my mind to the idea iyswim.

Good idea, ML. Why did you change from being a Mme to a Missus btw?

Took ds to the doctor this morning as he has been poorly since last Wednesday. He has flu so I was told to keep him off school for the rest of the week.

Going to the doctor here is much less stressful than it was in London. There, you had to be really lucky or at death's door to get an appointment on the same day. Waiting times were horrendous and then I often got the impression that I was wasting the doc's time. This morning we were in and out in 20 minutes, taken seriously and told to go back mid week if he doesn't improve.

Hope the rest of us don't come down with it. I really do not need to be ill atm.

That is one thing that I would miss if we were to go to UK, the health care. Here in CH it is also very good but bloody expensive. Btw, I got the money back at last (minus the 10%).

Hope your DS improves, Taipo.

I forgot to namechange back to Mme after Burn's Night. I quite like Missus though, hints at my Scottish heritage.

Thanks ML. I thought he was on the mend on Saturday but then yesterday his temp went up to 40 degrees again and he was feeling very sorry for himself. Seems a bit better today.

I know what you mean, Ernest, about being tired of being a foreigner. Sometimes it's nice to be different but it can be hard to get used to it in the long term.

Thanks for the long explanation Ernest! So in a way it was sort of decided upon, you didn't really have to say anything much to convince your h that it was a good idea to move back?

My stomach pains are a bit better, my soup was disgusting so I am pleased I will be able to eat some decent food now. I've pretended not to be in today when the neighbour rang the door bell, she keeps bringing me strange herbal tea mixtures and bottles with sour tasting liquid in to cure me - I'm a bit scared of what she'll come with next.

LOL Admylin, the Germans do love their natural remedies. I brought back a bottle of that bright pink medicine Pepbismal or something from UK one time. My friend was so at it.

Glad that you are on the mend, stay away from the spicy curries for a while.

You will have to cook bland British food, whether your DH likes it or not.

Have you all had a look at my Otters thread?

I know! It's all home made too. I mentioned that my mum had knee trouble now and then and especially in the cold weather so she brought down a pot of strongly smelling paste containing a few unidentifiable plants and bees wax - mum didn't dare to try rubbing it it on anything but it seems a shame to say no when she brings it!

admylin could that nice neighbour of yours babysit for you one evening whilst you and dh go out and talk?

Would it help you to speak to a marriage counsellor, even on your own? Caritas offers free counselling and although a Catholic organisation, they will help non-Catholics too. There are other organisations that offer similar help.

It wouldn't take the decision off your hands but might help you get clarity

Morning Ad - No, I did't actually have to convince dh as such. I just said my houghts, he considered the, we had a convo about it and came to the mutual agreement that it was the right thing to do.

It must be so hard for you. Your dh must be aware your are unhappy here. He must be aware your dc are unhappy here. What has been his direct response to you saying I'm/we're not happy and want to move back to UK?

Has he ever given a direct response?

If you said you wanted to fix a specific date to move back and he had to work towards that?

I agree having an impartial 3rd party may be beneficial, but I know my dh wouldn't go for that.

Anyone else got snow this am? Pretty treacherous here, as is sitting softly on top of a ot of very slippy polished ice left over from the last snow fall. Our cat did the splits on the drive ouch

I know what you mean, Ernest, my DH would not be keen on councelling.

It is such a difficult and complicated decision to make though, and when only one partner wishes to make the move then that makes it even worse.

I am on day 6 of Heilfasten and feeling a bit meh today. I have been fine so far but could not sleep last night. Must try and perk up later, must take the dog out for a walk.

Same here, my h wouldn't go for having a 3rd party involved. He is very closed in and wrapped up in himself at the moment. Never was a great one for 'talking' - that's why I admired you mmelindt when you wer etelling us about sorting out stuff with your dh by talking! I think he's had a talking to by his big boss too - he has to turn up at work earlier and collaborate with more doctors, do work for and with them and give lectures atleast once a week. So he's stressed even though I find it hard to feel any sympathy for him at the moment. Maybe I should.

I think we should try and get something sorted out - trouble is he always has something to say against any of my complaints. The classic being: millions of Germans seem to cope so why can't you - when I complain about the school system, the lack of prospects for me to work or study easiely, the general atmosphere and unfriendlieness although since leaving south Germany that is less of a problem. People really are nicer in the east and here in hannover.

Millions of Germans have been brought up in Germany and are used to the school system here. They don't know how archaic it is (is that a word, not sure of the spelling)

Excuse me while I lock my children in the atom bunker

By the way what do you do for a heilfasten? Is it online as your weight loss sounds quick and easy - how do you keep it off later? Do you just drink teas and water?

[hollow laugh] at weightloss being quick and easy

'Tis quick, I will give you that and until today I would have said easy. I have the monsters DC at home today and they are driving me up the wall.

Basically you want to shut down your digestive system for a couple of days or weeks by just drinking. There are different ways of doing it, I have found the most successful way for me is just water, juice and some tea. When the body does not get enough sustenance, it dives into the fat reserves and uses them up.

It is also supposed to be good for the skin, general health etc, not sure if that is true, the detox benefits for me are mainly the weightloss. I have lost 3.6kg since last Friday.

I really must do something to get rid of my huge tummy before the wedding, the dresses are lovely but would look better if I were thinner. Ideally I would like to lose around another 10kg altogether, hopefully another 2 or 3 this week and then the rest with healthy eating and exersize before the wedding.

You have strong will power not to give up mmelindt! The feeding of the family would be my down fall!

So do your 2 only have 4 full days of school? Nice idea really, ds was saying the other day that the weekend should be 3 days so he can really recover and relax but he spends half of Sunday worrying about it being Monday the next day so doesn't enjoy it.

Never tried Heilfasten. Are you eating nothing for a whole week ML? Don't you get tired and grumpy when you don't eat?

I am chuffedwith myself because I embarked on two of my new year's resolutions (finally) this week. I am cutting down coffee drastically with the aim just 2 cups a day this week, 1 a day next week and 0 the week aftr that. I have horrific head-aches in the morning but not as bad as last time when I quit from one day to the next, so I am trying a gradual approach this time round.

I have also re-embarked on the exercise lifestyle. I want to lose about a stone I think. How many kilos would that be, anyone know? Might try that Heilfasten even once I'm done with the Koffeinentzug

What kind of coffee do you drink? You could go even gentler and just change to one of those mild ones - often look at them but usually buy Dalmeyer prodomo which is quite strong.

I need 1 coffee a day at the moment but like to have about 4 cups of tea and when I run out of real tea and have to use those ridiculous German wishy washy things I get withdrawl symptoms! I use 2 German tea bags per cup and it's still not tasty.

A stone is around 7kg, I think

I am not normally so strong willed, but I have left it far too late to lose weight any other way. The bridesmaids dresses are being ordered at the end of February

Until now I have been fine, today has been a struggle.

It has been interesting. I have discovered the difference between a craving and being actually hungry. I was making the DC toast yesterday and I really had to resist having a bite. But I was not hungry. The bread smelt lovely, and I could almost taste it and the fantastic Swiss cheese on my tongue. It was a craving, and one I managed to resist.

I am hoping that once I go back to eating normally that I will still be able to resist the cravings.

At the moment I am craving Sauere Gurken, gherkins. Probably because we passed a factory in Aigle at the weekend.

Well done on the coffee reduction. Dallmayer do a mild version, and I think they also do a coffeinfree one too.

I get my mum to bring a big pack of tea bags with her from UK. I wish the M&S in Geneva would stock teabags.

Thank goodness I can get PG tips at the asian store but I just have to get around to going there as it isn't on my usual round! My mum brought us loads of branston this time, we've got half a cupboard full now!

I'm being very cheeky and posting on this to try and get it next to the "made up swearwords" on active convos. [shame]

lol Choccy
Shall we tell you what it means or do you just want to use the words as a swearword?

You might find some poor German tourist looking at you a bit strangely if you shout, "oh, SCHNEESCHAUFEL" when you drop your purse in the queue at Tescos