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Neue Stifte, neues Maeppchen: new German school thread

749 replies

finknottle · 18/09/2008 11:47

Am starting in positive manner as we're 7 weeks into the new school year and all 3 of mine are settled and happy.
Well, d won't be if she does have head lice and has to stay off because she loves school so much.
S1 is in the second year of secondary & still thriving. Is class prefect for the first time which was a great ego boost.
S2 is in Y4 & has been doing better in class but his test results are still lousy (unfortunate choice of phrase if we are lice-ridden) and his teacher is convinced it's the language issue. He's trying harder which is a good sign. He lost the prefect election by 1 vote to his best friend and was chuffed to bits to be his "deputy" and that so many voted for him.

Had forgotten how wonderful the "erste Klasse" is.

OP posts:
admylin · 20/01/2009 10:38

Taipo, how was the infoabend for year 5? Did it help or just worry you more? (I find these things confuse and worry me more than they help!)

taipo · 20/01/2009 10:46

Didn't really learn much that wasn't in the booklet dd brought home about the different types of school. The head did speak a lot about the appeals process if you don't agree with the teacher's Empfehlung. Seems quite complicated and difficult and I imagine leads to a lot of unhappy parents and dc. I discovered that there really is no parental choice here in BW.

ZZZen · 20/01/2009 11:03

oh sorry taipo misread; your dd I should have written.

It may be a subject she'll cruise through, it may be annoying to be corrected when you are speaking correctly as admylin's dc have found. Think positive till events force you to do otherwise I think.

taipo · 20/01/2009 14:16

Yep, I'll try to stay positive. There's enough to be negative about as it is

At least ds is a bit more settled this term. I wouldn't go as far as to say he is enjoying school but he's maybe getting used to it. He's started learning Schreibschrift and actually seems to like it so maybe we'll be spared the tears and tantrums we had with dd over that.

admylin · 30/01/2009 09:35

Well, I'm off to meet dd as today is Zeugnisausgabe and they finish at 11am. She got up this morning with a headache, had tummy ache b yteh time we got to school and is so worried that the other girls will want to see her report. I had to practise putting a sheet of paper in her file and clasping it to her chest and saying 'ich will es nicht zeigen'.

Ds was trying to be cool and not show anything, but I think that's even worse because he bottles it all up and hides his feelings. I know he is fed up and worried about the majority of 3's he'll be getting.

I didn't want my dc to have this sort of experience with school. I never did, only report I ever worried about was a half year report when I was 14 and knew I'd been messing about alot that term. Trouble is my 2 have never messed about, always tried hard and always done homework etc... also have to deal with their dad who won't be able to hold his mouth, nag nag nag when he asks to see the reports tonight.

ZZZen · 30/01/2009 10:56

why can't they gie them to the dc in sealed envelopes?

Wanted to ask admylin, how is your dd settling in there? Has she found friends and does she like going to school (aside from tests/grades=?

ZZZen · 30/01/2009 10:57

taipo I wanted to ask you but I keep forgetting, now that your dd has learned GErman Schreibschrift, has she forgotten English cursive or does she still use it for anything? Can she keep the two apart in her mind?

admylin · 30/01/2009 10:59

OMG, ZZZen. You can not imagine how I am feeling right now. Just got back with dd's report and an Empfehlung for teh Hauptschule and no way is she geeignet for Hauptschule.

I feel so helpless. Her last Berlin report was full of 1's and 2's - how can this happen now? She got 3 in German and 4 in maths and 2 in Sachkunde.

ZZZen · 30/01/2009 11:20

oh no, you poor thing. Does dd know?

ZZZen · 30/01/2009 11:22

the 2 in Sachkunde is very good, the 3 in German is ok, little errors here and there in the dictations just add up. It's not that bad. The maths was the problem I bet

admylin · 30/01/2009 11:38

I can't understand why they wrote her a Hauptschuleempfehlung though. We had a meeting I made it clear that we wer ebehind her and able and willing to help if she needed extra tuition etc but I got no feed back at all. I'm so mad with the teacher, I feel as if she's failed dd by not telling me something like: look, her grades have gone down since Berlin, we need to discuss extra lessons or look at why she has gone from a 2 in maths to a 4.

admylin · 30/01/2009 11:48

I keep thinking of things I want to say at the next teacher parent meeting but none of them are good - I know, finks would forbid me to even think them.

ZZZen · 30/01/2009 11:50

Because you don't get their philosophy admylin which is not "how can we help as many dc as possible to achieve the best they can?" It is, "let us get through the curriculum by the end of the school year and filter out those who couldn't keep up with it well enough." I don't think they consider themselves there to "help" in any way. Perhaps I am too harsh and I misjudge them but I honestly don't think it is what they learn in the teacher training courses. I suspect they concentrate on Lehrstoff vermitteln and classroom control and not how do I spot someone who is struggling and bolster them whilst also helping those who are sailing to progress even further.

Germany is just utterly different in the whole approach to society and the individual and we will always struggle to get our heads around it like they don't understand what our problem with the system is. I don't think the individual counts for much in Germany at all, it is about fitting into the whole and finding the place in society that your olders and betters consider is appropriate for you.

I think for the most part Germans are very accepting of this, perhaps it makes them feel taken care of in some positive sense, I don't know. I hate it because I feel boxed in by that approach to life.

Germany just is not and to my (admittedly limited) knowledge never has been a liberal state.

ZZZen · 30/01/2009 11:51

no finks would let you have a fine old rant. But she knows from experience that you have to bottle it up when you actually approach them. She is a fighter and you are a bit differenti n that you stand your ground but you do not really fight them.

Well I hope this has the effect of galvanising your dh into some kind of positive action. I really do.

admylin · 30/01/2009 11:52

I just feel so defeated and sort of 'how dare they'

Well, IGS is going to be her only option.

admylin · 30/01/2009 11:53

Ausflippen is the only word that comes into my head when I think of H. Do you think I should phone him and tell him the bad news so he can digest it before he comes home and totalyl ruins our day?

ZZZen · 30/01/2009 11:56

of course you feel angry on her bhealf and hurt and worried. I don't know about your dh. Really don't know why he wouldn't be angry on her behalf too rather than berating her or you about it. Is his job far from your flat? Could you leave the kids for a bit and go in and talk to him in person?

admylin · 30/01/2009 12:00

No he's in a high security building on teh 4th floor in his lab so no point in dragging him out - he can talk if he answers his phone, but he'd have to get all his gear off and come down if I went.

That's the trouble with h though. He isn't angry for her - he thinks it's not the school's fault, it's her fault and my fault for not working hard enugh because anyone can get good grades. There is no such thing as natural talent, every child can pass every exam if they just try hard enough

ZZZen · 30/01/2009 12:03

hmm tricky in a way I suppose I always thought like that too, you know

I think it is not passing a test and learning for it which is the problem but perhaps that the tests are constant over the year and her learning style/performance style didn't suit that.

Does she know she got the Hauptschulempfehlung? How is she?

admylin · 30/01/2009 12:09

But the ironic thing is - h isn't a natural talent, he worked his way through school and college and uni by sitting up until midnight (even as a small child) and having tutors and extra study etc but now he is finding his job very stressfull and he isn't quick to pick up new things or understand simple things like manuels, and that's why he hasn't got time for anything else, like family life, not even a hobby or time to relax and have fun.

The naturally clever people I know always had loads of hobbies and did community stuff, joined in, learned extra languages 'just for fun' and still came top of the class with straight A's - do you see what I'm getting at?

I agree, with extra tuition we can get dd back up to grade but I don't like the way she should be made to feel ashamed as if she hasn't tried. That's what h is going to make them both feel like.

ZZZen · 30/01/2009 12:13

Is ds happy with his Zeugnis at least?

I'm sorry I'm not (thankfully) all that sure how this recommendation thing works. So this is THE final piece of paper you will need to use to make the secondary applications for dd? Or is this a hint as to how it is going and she can get a different recommendation by the end of the year?

admylin · 30/01/2009 12:13

Dd knows she got Hauptschule but she won't comment.

I guess I just have to calm myself down and start planning the next meeting at her school. Do you think I should take the neighbour with me? I speak good German but I get the feeling I maybe missed soemthing from the last meeting which is why I was so shocked today. Maybe they said it then and I didn't catch it?

ZZZen · 30/01/2009 12:15

I think your German is pretty good really.

I have to go for a bit, send me an email, as vitriolic as you like and full of all sorts of nasty tortures and things you'd like to inflict on the teachers. Anything. I can handle it. Get it out of your system a bit.

I think this is a case for Superfinks actually. Let's have a good think about this over the weekend, see what we can come up with.

admylin · 30/01/2009 12:16

ZZZen that made me look at the Termin list that we were handed out in December and it looks as if it might not be final , the official one comes on 27th May which is when we have to register at the secondary schools. So all is not lost...

admylin · 30/01/2009 12:18

I also have to go, will mail you later with h's reaction and methods and ideas on how to hide a body deal with it!