Moving abroad with teenagers and declining uk political env

[Spacecow123]

I’ve been wanting to move abroad for a very long time, so long in fact that my kids are now teenagers 16 and 13. I’m now thinking should I just let the dream go or wait till the next point when my eldest is in university and youngest doing level? If we did move would they ultimately need to come back to the UK for uni anyway? I wouldn’t mind the Middle East, Singapore but I feel really stuck now that I didn’t do it earlier and it’s crunch time in terms of majors academic milestones. The declining political environment is also a major factor for me, I always thought the uk was a tolerant place to live but farrage and his cronies lied to us about brexit and now are doing the same thing with reform. Beggars belief, how do people forget so easily? What future will the next generation be living under?

I wouldn’t move teens unless you or they are in need. And never to Dubai or AB. And never for the reasons you’ve come up with.

Thank you, useful advice

Thanks useful to get your perspective

Thanks very much, really interesting to get that perspective on how they coped with it and cost involved

this is my worry! I think a school that support gcse and levels as oppose to other international qualifications. But as other posters have said it might be challenging with two teens who have established friendship groups

Thanks all for your advice, lots of food for thought and some deep thinking required. Appreciate it

And a few who have their passports seized whilst they are "under investigation" and spend up to years stuck there.

Oh, and I'd check up on all the things one can do freely and legally here, but not there...just in case.😉

This comes up a lot it it’s not strictly true. Firstly, it obviously depends on which country- it varies. If by ME you mean the UAE, a woman doesn’t need her husband’s permission to work. An individual ( male or female) requires their sponsor’s permission to work ( and do various other things) if they are living in the UAE on a dependent’s visa. This is because the sponsor ( husband/ wife) effectively takes responsibility for that person while they are there. The dependent can however get their own working visa ( be sponsored by their employer) and then they don’t need the letter of no objection.

I lived in Singapore for 3 years and moved in 2025 (now elsewhere in Asia). Can’t speak to Dubai. My two cents - work wise, Singapore is small and the market isn’t great at the moment. Lots of uncertainty. What is your sector? Teaching you may be able to swing a move with (although it is still competitive) everything else is v hard at the moment. As a foreigner you cannot access state education so you must pay international school fees, for the established schools (e.g.,Taglin) expect to pay GBP25k pa per child with older kids. Rent is also expensive, I was paying GBP3.6k a month for a three bed in a not particularly posh condo. You can pay less (and much much more) but I wouldn’t expect to pay less than GBP2.5k. Cost of living (eating out, taxis etc.) generally expensive and in my experience more so than London. Having said all that, really enjoyed my time there and the travel is great.

We came back when my DC was 9/10. The nuance of communication in a foreign language was difficult to navigate as DC was getting older and we felt they were becoming isolated in the area and country we lived in. They love their life in the UK. Their friends. Their chosen professional degree is hard to get in here and even harder in the country we were living in!

We will live abroad again when they have finished their 6 year degree. Just starting to make plans now as we have 3 more years to go.

IMO every country has their good and bad points and unless you are mega wealthy as a normal working family you have to navigate them regardless of geography.

If you are planning to your dc going to a uk university it’s not worth it.

international fees are three or four times Uk fees. Most people go to a lot of effort to try to get Uk fee status as it saves so much money.

usually that is three years residency before hand.

the ages of your children are also an issue. Your 16 year old will presumably have done GCSEs and be moving into a levels.

interanational schools vary in the curriculum they offer - some offer IB, some offer American, etc. you’d need to try to get your children into a British curriculum international school which would be expensive (it would be private).

the state system in the Middle East doesn’t generally take expat kids and you wouldn’t want them in it anyway - teaching is generally not in English and it’s a totally different culture.

you might get them into Singapore state schools but be aware that Singapore has the grammar system and children are separated into the equivalent of grammar and secondary modern. Again it is a very different culture and you’d struggle to get them places in a good local state schools.

most expats in Singapore use international private schools which are not cheap.

so yes, you could. You’d be looking at private school fees for both of them for the rest of their schooling plus international fees for uni. Wrong side of 150k at least.

Thanks all for the honest first hand feedback on both countries.

I didn’t realise that Singapore used the grammar system so private would likely be the only way forward it seems.
Sounds like school fees in both places is going to be expensive. I knew rent in dubai/ AD has sky rocketed but didn’t realise Singapore was similarly expensive so added to school fees this will need to be factored in. And the cultural difference is also something that I should consider.

International university fees is not something we can go in even with good jobs in banking.

Re jobs the market in Sing, on my linkedin feed, colleagues have posted about how hard it is to secure another role after redundancy but I wasn’t sure if was a few isolated cases or the market in general. Sounds like it’s the the market..

Thanks for clearing up the consent thing..

Hats off to you all for doing it, made me realise how complicated it is, before you take in the actual move itself and dealing with teenagers and everything else!!

@Witcherwitcher I agree - I’m not of the viewpoint that the UK is perfect but neither is anywhere else because each family/couple has a unique set of circumstances - places I think can be amazing and ideal at-a particular time of life, ie Denmark or Sweden ( lived for 2 years) I can see are great with a high income and young family , would I think ideal post 60 ? my H thinks so but I don’t - I think too cold in winter , more risk of falls and very high taxation to help pay stuff you probably aren’t using ( child care, social housing etc) if you have got teens who are expecting to go to uk university’s it’s a risk that you won’t have to pay international fees - if you don’t and have young kids it may not be an issue at all as they may stay wherever you are if able to do so .

It is very rare for foreigners (that is, persons on an employment pass visa) to put their kids in Singapore state school - two reasons, (1) Singaporean nationals cannot use the private/international school systems without Ministry of Education approval, which is issued in a case-by-case basis, and so 99% Singaporean kids will be in the state system, (2) as a person on a employment pass you are lowest priority for allocating state school places and the Singapore state system is competitive AF with people aligning from birth (e.g., moving close to where they went as kids are legacy (higher priority than you), helping out with school stuff - I was in finance and had colleagues that “volunteered” as lollipop men in the mornings before work to get their kids up the priority list for allocation, again this is not an option for employment pass holders, you won’t move up in priority and will remain in the lowest tier). That’s putting aside the very intense, rote learning focus of the Singapore education system. So international school fees are pretty much a a part of life.

To add - the poster above is right and Singapore state schools operate on a grammar type system with the best being highly selective (and therefore competitive) so as an employment pass holder you will be allocated a non-selective low tier school (with little chance of moving as all Singaporeans kids in the same school who want to move will be higher priority)

Would the 16 year old even agree to go? At that age both ours were firmly entrenched in the community with their friends, extended family and schooling. They would hate to be uprooted

OP with respect you don't seem to have thought this through at all or even considered the most basic of questions.

A if=fiend of mine mover to Dubai with her DH, had 2 children there. He died suddenly and she literally had a week to leave the country. Turns out that now she didn’t have a husband, she had absolutely no rights.

Again, replace husband with “sponsor”. If she was the employed person ( with the employment visa) and he was there as her dependent and she died the situation would have been exactly the same- he would have had to leave because he would no longer have had a sponsor. You can argue that it’s a harsh system but it does work both ways.

Those places are may less tolerant than the uk and only respect one thing, money. Unless you are very high earners you will not be able to live a good lifestyle, it’s crazy expensive with having to pay for things we take for granted here. You have a serious case of grass is greener syndrome. You may love it but do very careful research not just seeing influencers on YouTube

The age your dc are, I would be looking ahead to once they are in university and only then if you have family they can stay with for shorter periods eg occasional weekends as they won’t be able to come to you for a few days

Dubai/the Middle East?

Do you have daughters? Do you care about human rights and democracy or freedom of press and expression?

Because no tax break would be enough to make me move to countries that see women and girls as second class citizean or even properties and have appalling human rights records in general.

Moved with 14 & 16 year old overseas (post GCSEs for one). It’s been a journey but what works for one child could be super tricky for the other. It maybe the best decision you make. We do not regret the move despite some challenges. It’s still tremendous life experience for you all.

Qualifying for home fees may be entirely feasible for your eldest if you keep a house, are paying council tax and show demonstrable links back to the UK plus he would have been out of the country for less that 3 years so I think that’s also helps etc. Decisions on home fees is also uni dependent. My eldest is studying in UK on home fees for example (without us owning a house etc) . So it’s doable.

Just be prepared for a rollercoaster. If you PM I’ll signpost you to a FB page where you’ll get the all the answers and opinions you need (politics aside) from people who have moved mad down this

Sometimes you just need to jump but I wouldn’t solely on a political belief that may or may not materialise. Moving overseas is hard and the decision needs to be solid one for your family. An adventure you want to undertake.

I lived in Singapore for 10 years - agree that it’s close to an impossible to access the state system but there are some good international schools there. You can’t just go though, you need a job and an employment pass and you have to earn a certain amount to get one depending on how old you are. I have many friends who managed to get home fees for uni so there are ways round that, but I think you’d have trouble just moving to SG.
we moved back when our DC were 8 and 6. I would love to go abroad again but they are now 13 and 11 and would be a lot harder socially etc. I think with a 16 year old I’d be staying put that’s not a good time to move.

I would also add though that mumsnet is quite negative about moving kids! In reality, in expat-heavy places it is very common to move with kids of all ages and the schools are well equipped to deal with that. There are also lots of benefits to living overseas not least the travel experiences, but I think my cut off point to move would be going into year 9!