Moving to New York from Surrey, UK

[LMcKenz]

Hi, looking for advice on moving to New York from Surrey. Husband has been given an opportunity through work to start a new job working across manhattan (so doesn’t matter if we use Penn or GCS) to commute. I’ve been researching and lots of posts mention Westchester County - particularly Scarsdale, Rye etc. I just want to know the best family-friendly place that’s easily commutable into NYC? I’m 35, husband is 36 and we have a nearly 2 year old son and nearly 6 year old daughter. So schools/nurseries are also very important. Also really important for us to be able to make friends so we need somewhere sociable. I won’t be working so need to meet people quickly. Any advice really greatly appreciated!

Is Manhattan totally out? We moved from the UK to New York when the kids were a similar age and the kids totally thrived in the city. We looked everywhere- Westchester, Jersey, Long Island, CT and decided to do three years in the city and then review. We never left. I totally understand it’s not for everyone but it’s worth considering.

Agree with PP, I would live in Manhattan if I were you. Perhaps on the UWS or the UES.

Is it a secondment or a permanent transfer? What is the relocation allowance? Will he be going on the L1 visa? Do you plan to work and in which industry?

Lots to consider but 100% worth it (I made the move from London last year at the same age, albeit by myself).

what’s the salary? The towns you mention are lovely but among the most expensive. Rentals can be tricky and if you purchase the property taxes may be over $20K a year. If you have that kind of money then manhattan is an option and there are good public schools on both the UES and UWS. you also won’t be locked into s house purchase.

Hi, so the transfer is permanent (obviously if we hate it we’ll come back) but there’s no set timeframe on it. Salary-wise we’re in a really lucky position that I won’t be having to work which is a massive plus for the move. Our max budget for a rental would be around €7000 a month. I’m conscious of not necessarily living in the city itself only because we live 40 mins outside of London now so have the best of both worlds? I’m really keen that we can make friends easily - we’re really sociable so leaving behind family and friends is a huge deal. It would be great to meet people in a similar situation to ours? Not massively concerned with tax either considering we pay nearly 50% to the taxman now! Thanks so much.

Have you been over here for a recce? I think that would be very helpful. Making friends for us was actually pretty easy, if you’re willing to put yourself out there then there is a lot to do and you’ll meet people like that. You’ll also find that schools provide a lot of opportunities for meeting other parents, it’s very social.

7k for rent a month might not go as far as you think in some of the areas you mentioned, what have you seen online so far? What kind of commute does your partner think is reasonable? It may be easy to get to Penn Station or Grand Central Terminal from where you are but how long will it take him from there to get to his work place?

Have you given any thought to schooling Find the schools you want and where you live will just fall into place.

This is a very exciting opportunity for all of you. We love living over here and my kids took to it like a duck to water. Remember to enjoy the whole process!

I was going to add that $7k a month won’t go far in Manhattan at all if you need a 3-bed property. If the kids can share a room, then you can get a decent 2-bed apartment for that price.

I would recommend your DH spends some time negotiating the best salary he can before you move out here. Don’t get fobbed off with just a generous relocation allowance. If it’s a permanent transfer you’re likely going to want to stay a few years, so a one-time allowance is less important than securing a good salary and getting off on the right foot, so to speak.

My advice is he should not accept any less than double his existing GBP salary number in USD, if you want to maintain your current lifestyle in NYC, if that makes sense. So if he’s on £200k in the UK, he needs to be on a minimum of $400k.

Yep! The high property tax in the suburbs matters because it will get built into your rent or mortgage payment. Income tax in NY/NJ isn’t low either. Run a paycheck estimator and make sure you aren’t low balled on pay.

what friends and relatives have found is that they think they’ll go into the city all the time because the train is right there… but they don’t. If you can handle being in an apartment for a bit it’s really nice to start in the city. In the suburbs schools are strictly based on residence. There’s no fuss about places. You’re in the zone for Washington Elementary? Well that’s where you go (unless special education is involved). So there’s no worry about missing out if you move in the middle of primary.

Also, NYC has free 3K and PK. while some suburbs have PK, 3K is rare. You also won’t need to bother with a car straight away and can use Zipcar or a rental for trips.

After a year or two you’ll know the area better and which direction you like.

We used to live in Westchester county. It’s a big area but it’s split into multiple towns etc, all of which have their own distinct school districts, so what’s on offer school wise (and quality) varies massively. Rule of thumb usually is, if the price seems low / reasonable, check the school district. There’s a direct correlation between these

On the east side, Larchmont, Mamaroneck, Harrison, Rye are the nearest stops on the train to the city with solid local schools. The rental and house prices reflect this tho. On the west side, i had friends in Dobbs Ferry and Greenburgh who liked it

We lived on the east; you’ll need a car and be used to driving most places (tbh, that’s the US tho!) be prepared for all kids activities to cost way more than the UK, even toddler drop in classes. The other thing that took us by surprise (may be different now) is that there wasn’t huge availability of nurseries - lots of ppl chose to stay home as a sahm or got a nanny, which may be why there wasn’t a lot of places

Thanks very much - I’ve found quite a few houses on Zillow for around $7K a month? It doesn’t really matter in terms of how long it’ll take him to get to an office the other end because his job is based all over so he travels to different sites. Hence why it doesn’t matter if we’re closer to Penn or GCS. So my daughter will be 6 in Jan so she’ll be going to Elementary School? I don’t even know where to begin in terms of looking at schools but heard schools in Westchester and NJ were great? She’s just at a state school now so not interested in going private.

So currently living in scarsdale borders. Was a price sticker shock when moving here. All kids activities cost upwards of $30 a class, not a session, a class. If they dont swim, strongly suggest you get them to learn - lots of water here. Credit rating - get an American express card in the UK now. Your uk credit history wont transfer over. Parking at train stations is mostly based on permits, only available to town residents and there is a long waiting list. Good bus service generally connects to times of commuter trains. Trains from Scarsdale to GCS take 32 to 50 mins depending on peak or off peak. Return ticket costs $21. You will be expected to pay 2 months rent up front as deposit. Make sure your phones can accept other Sim cards. Without a credit history you wld have to pay cash for new phones. Your address/zip code does not dictate where you are resident. Eg, can have a scarsdale address/zip code, but be zoned for Yonkers schools and taxes(dont go to Yonkers schools). Do look at tuckahoe, irvington as well as rye, Harrison, larchmont. Lots of expats with families here. When we 1st moved we were on UWS for a month. Couldn't find a single mum at the playgrounds - all nannies. Look at joining Newcomers groups. Lots of ppl here can have the attitude - oh you will be moving again, I dont have the time to invest in you. But if you find your group, is perfect.When looking at schools, consider whether the district offers bussing and what distance from the school it starts. Agree with others that you need double your uk salary. Utilities, property taxes, insurance are all very expensive compared to uk. Also your husband should get medical insurance through his work, but you will have an annual deductible/copay, which can be $4000 per person. Do you have a relocation specialist to help you? Will they still be available to you after you move? Getting a car will require cash payment, as you have no credit history for finance. Prek/nurseries that are good start taking reservations now for next Sept. You will find somewhere, but may not be as local as you would like or as cheap. Be aware that summer holiday is 9-10 weeks and lots of kids go to day camp for several weeks which if not run by the town, can cost upwards of $1000 a week. Sleep away which is popular in scarsdale is even more.

@Crushed23 and @Flippingheckfire have good advice. They’ve said what I came on here to say.

Thanks so much - what about Long Island and New Jersey?
I honestly don’t even know where to start really apart from research on where to live. Yes, we’ll be go over. My husband is going over on Sunday for a week and also in December and we’ll make sure we go out together to do a recce at some point too.

The commute from LI can be long, depending on where you are, and train service can be variable

Hoboken in NJ is v popular with ppl and families and also Jersey City
(i don’t know what the schools are like) you can get the river ferry from that side directly into the financial district and up on the west side. Lots of ppl I used to work with lived there

I just want to add that the biggest shock for me was the price of groceries. They’re literally double what they are in the UK. As a single (petite!) person, I need to spend minimum $200/week to eat well. Luckily I can bring that down a bit as we get free breakfast at work and often dinner if working late. My guess for a family of 4 is maybe $400-500 / week for groceries.

I found making friends very easy and have a much more active social life here than I did in NYC. My friendship group meets 2-3 times a week. I was lucky to see friends 2-3 times a month in London. Everyone is more outgoing here and has more disposable income, especially young professionals.

I’d figure out your max budget for renting + living costs, and then get a map out and figure out how long your DH is prepared to travel for to work. Include the train and subway commute and drive to the station time. Start to look at areas based on that, and then layer over important factors for you as a family ie do you want a lot of green space / be near to the water / have local facilities such as a library on your doorstep, how far do you want to drive to the shops / gym / soft play / school every day

If you rent, you’re not locked into anything for ever. it’s really common for ppl
moving over to rent and then move on

Also flagging that unless you live in a walkable town (and there aren’t many of them) or dh can walk to the station, you’ll need 2 cars

I don’t have experience of Long Island or New Jersey but those are both big/general areas. It’s like saying what’s Surrey like when you know one part of Surrey is very different to others.

Id avoid anything further than 45 minutes by train if you can help it - the commute can be tedious, particularly if you have to add a subway or cab journey once you get to the city.

Please don’t underestimate how much more money you will need here to maintain your U.K. lifestyle.

Get your DH to get a recommendation of a couple of realtors from one of his colleagues while he is here and start meeting them, even if only by zoom. You won’t be able to do anything with out one.

to help you work out which areas you want to focus on, look at you tube for drive throughs or realor videos like this one. You’ll get a feel for some of the areas

compare the slick and shiny realtor videos with a drive around filmed by ordinary people to give yourself a balanced view.

Personally, I’m a fan of Larchmont, its central parts are unusually walkable for the US - you might even be able to get away with one car. But rental housing can be rare and expensive for what you get - look at the Trulia app. As well as Zillow.

in terms of meeting people, try to get a house with a front porch or spend time in your front yard “gardening”. Your neighbours will introduce themselves if you’re visible. your kids will also provide an instant network if you’re in the suburbs.

If you commute from Long Island you're coming in to Penn Station. PP is right that LI train service is variable, which is putting it charitably. GCS is in a nicer neighbourhood, imo.
New Jersey has some beautiful towns and some gentrifying areas. The commute depends on what part of the state you're living in.
It's above my pay grade, but it's worth investigating the tax position of working in New York and living in New Jersey - If you live in NJ but work in NYC/NY state, you avoid NYC’s city‑resident income tax, which is an advantage. But you will still pay NYS tax and NJ state tax (with a credit). The actual tax advantage, if any, depends a lot on your income, deductions, and how many days DH will physically work in each state.

Hastings on Hudson, Dobbs Ferry, Irvington, Scarsdale. The first 3 are on the Hudson, beautiful small villages each with their own character. Scarsdale not quite on the river and a bit more expensive.
If you chose a village then be prepared for a village mentality. Everyone will he interested and know your business. Its either stifling or community minded depending on your viewpoint.
If city is more your thing try a few neighborhoods in Brooklyn. Its a while since I was there so not sure how far your budget would stretch.

Have a look at Bronxville.
Pricey, but ticks a lot of your boxes and about the same commuting time you have now.

Be careful of Bronxville schools and where you live in Bronxville. The catchment area is literally 1 mile, whilst Bronxville is larger. If you live outside the catchment area - will be at Yonkers schools - which you need to avoid. I dont know about LI or NJ, but previous comment about avoiding NYC extra tax if working in NYC but living outside is relevant. If he is working all over, he will need to keep track of how many days he works in each jurisdiction. Make sure the relocation package includes a tax preparer for the 1st year where you will be part UK and part USA tax liable. If they cover your 2nd normal year - would also be helpful. You have to submit a tax return every year. We chose not to live on LI as husband commutes to 7th Ave every day - LIRR can be unreliable, trains infrequent, but then so was Metro North when we have storms. You need local realtors - not just NYC based ones. If you want to msg me - I can put you in touch with a local one.

Thanks everyone this is really helpful and gives us lots of things to look at. I’m glad my husband is going over next week, if a little jealous!

Don’t be, the weather is shite next week 😭 Sub 10 degrees all week. Literally escaping to Florida tomorrow for a bit for some respite!

(The worst thing about living in NYC is 100% the winter, for me - it’s brutal.)

Best of luck, and keep us posted - I love a ‘moving to NYC’ thread, brings back memories 😁

Have you looked at some expat forums? I found them very useful when we moved over, especially concerning things like health insurance, which baffled me at first, They were also very helpful in terms of schools etc.

What kind of visa are you coming over on? Can you work if you find you need the extra income?

I have family on Long Island actually. Commute is longer as you have to go through Queens. There are now trains to Grand Central thanks to the East Side Access Project but quality of service depends on the branch. It's culturally very different from Westchester, and there's a different vibe between the north and south shores. (North Shore is more spread out and affluent for the most part, South Shore is flat and densely built, not necessarily working class exactly but it doesn't feel rich. It's maybe like the Essex of New York, while Westchester is Surrey.)

New Jersey has every sort of town, but transport can be iffy. A lot of NJ doesn't have trains and you need to get a bus to the Port Authority, and for some of the places that do have train service, it doesn't go all the way to Penn Station and you need to change at Secaucus Junction. Hoboken and Jersey City are on the PATH which is much better service, and are more city-like (lots of new apartments).

While Metro-North is generally good, there's only 3 main lines so as you go north the lines fan out and the towns get further from stations.

There are cheaper activities but there's also, dare I say, snob factor. There are people who just wouldn't use the YMCA/JCC for activities (JCC is Jewish but you don't need to be Jewish to use it). Swim lessons are a must as not only is there the beach, but backyard pools aren't uncommon. Competitive sport can get ridiculous early, especially soccer and lacrosse.

You will need to figure out schools first. A long trip to and from school every day with your older child will get very old very fast, especially in the long winter.

Try to identify good public (i.e. state) schools - the good ones are really good. Don't expect the same sort of feel to schools that you'd find in tne UK, or similarities in the curriculum. You will save a fortune if your child attends a good public school.

But catchment are rigorously enforced in many school.districts, so you need to live 'in district'.