Anyone live in the Malaga/Fuengirola region - I have a delicate question

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When we were in Spain a few weeks ago our transfer from the airport took us past an accident that had not long happened. Police were there but no ambulance yet.

I keep thinking about the person involved (well there may have been more than one but it's the one I saw that I keep having "flashbacks" about).

I tried googling the next day and since being back but can't find anything (which I'm hoping is a good sign).

It happened on the evening of 5th September between 8-9pm, location was the road from Malaga heading towards Estepona around (I think) the area where the AP-7 and A7 split/merge. It involved a motorcyclist.

I'm hoping that someone who lives around there knows the right news sites or whatever to search but I want to know if he survived - strange I know, but what we saw was horrific and keeps crossing my mind and I'm hoping that if I know the outcome (which I'm desperately hoping is positive) then I'll stop thinking about it. Although the injuries were awful and life changing he could have survived.

You need to go on the Malaga forum on trip advisor. You're much more likely to find out there.

Seems a bit ghoulish to me, do you honestly think you’ll feel “better” if you find out they’re dead?

I think the OP thinks quite the opposite! 🫤

FFS, why would you even say that.

What we saw was awful but survivable, albeit life changing. I don't want to go into details on here because that would be ghoulish.

DS saw it too, I tried to reassure him that I thought he was alive as Im pretty sure he was. I'd like to be able to tell him that this is the case.

I'd also like to hopefully stop "seeing it" in my head. I'm not saying that this applies to me but I can understand how PTSD happens after witnessing things.

Have you googled the local news papers?

I’m saying that because i don’t understand what you think finding out the worst will achieve.

RTA are unfortunately a part of everyday life, you’re trying to make out you’re all worried and compassionate but it’s just another form of rubbernecking.

Good idea @CafeDuck .

Try here https://www.surinenglish.com/malaga/.

I am in a job where unfortunately I see the aftermath of some nasty things. I find that talking to a counsellor or writing an email with all your thoughts to [email protected] helps. I rarely know the outcome of events after the emergency services have left. It means I lack closure, which is why having good people around me is therapy too. I wouldn't dwell on it because it will send you spiralling.

Agreed, this is very odd. I could understand if you'd been a first responder, and was wondering whether the person you helped had survived. But this comes across as rather strange.

Is this anxiety driven by something else?

Some unkind comments on here. You are showing genuine human compassion, which some people seem to think is just nosiness. Being even peripherally involved (or just seeing) with something traumatic can play on your mind for a long time, and having an idea of the ending, good or bad, helps. Good luck in finding the answer.

I don't agree with pp saying this is strange or that you're being ghoulish, OP. What you saw affected you. You're human. It's normal to be haunted by seeing something like this and to feel empathy for a stranger who's been through something tragically life-altering. It's normal to seek some sort of closure. If you could find out what happened, it must feel as if you'd then have a solid point to move on from.

Whether you find out or not, it sounds like you saw something truly horrific, and it might help to book a few sessions with a therapist?

I can understand this. I witnessed a horrific motorbike accident in London a few years ago (it was the noises that stayed with me the most). Luckily, because I rang 999, I got a callback from someone a couple of days later to get more information from me and they were able to tell me that the motorcyclist had survived without life-changing injuries. I was so relieved. I hope you get some good closure, OP.

I dont think its ghoulish at all to want to know what happened to the person and be wishing them well.
I regularly check my local news sites for updates on all kinds.
Huge English speaking community in that area, been there many times myself. Surely they have their own forum or FB group?

You don’t have to understand it. OP understands exactly how this may help her. You’d do it differently, so what?

I'd assume some Facebook pages from the region would be your best bet. Someone on here would probably be able to help if the utter twats would just stop derailing the thread.

how old is your DS?

if he's young & still worrying/not sleeping I'd employ the White Lie strategy. Tell him the guy was fine. Luckily. But is never wants be to ride a motorbike again! (& hope that's the truth).

if you can't find anything out, maybe convince yourself this is the outcome too. You can't do anything to change/help the situation, so thinking of the best outcome doesn't hurt anyone.

Exactly.

Thank you to those posters who can understand or are trying to understand.

Yes, I am quite an anxious person so that no doubt contributes to the situation. Also, I've not spoken to anyone about it in real life so maybe that doesn't help as it's just replaying in my head.

I need closure as I think that would help, and obviously I'm desperately hoping that it's a positive outcome for those concerned.

For those of you who don't understand ...maybe you process things differently, maybe you can block things out, maybe youve not witnessed anything traumatic, maybe you lack compassion, maybe you don't think about anyone outside of your own little bubble....

No, I don’t think so. Not sure insulting people who disagree with you is particularly compassionate but you do you.

There is absolutely nothing odd about wanting to know the outcome of something that has affected you deeply. Most people don't deal with this sort of thing in their daily lives. How awful that your ds saw it too.

How lovely that they called you back to tell you this. That shows proper understanding of how bystanders are affected.

OP, I understand your reasons for still wondering. And it's not rubbernecking.

Bladderpool ....can I refer you to your comment at 00:35 today.

That’s a little ironic given she’s reacting to the lack of compassion shown…

We know that sometimes poster come on to get attention, or to wind people up. Or, as in this case, both. Ignore it, people. OP I can understand why you’re still thinking about it.

HI, other than traffic warnings about the accidents at 8:56 that night there is nothing else which will mean no serious injuries. Unfortunately the accidents on that road are thick and fast but thankfully usually not fatal.

Thank you @Spaintraveller , that's the sort of post I was praying to see - it was the information I was hoping to hear (but didn't know where to look for it).

Thank you again to those who understood where I was coming from.

Agree. Some people make everything about themselves, ‘Needs closure’, for goodness sake. This isn’t about you.